Through Dumbledore's Eyes
by SylvaDragon
Summary: Starts just after Harry is left with the Dursleys, how can Albus explain his reasons for leaving Harry with those muggles, when Minerva won't speak to him ? Will she be able to change his mind ? Can love survive ? Angsty, romantic, funny. Lots of MMADness
1. Loneliness

Through Dumbledore's Eyes

Chapter 1

It was morning in early November, the towers of Hogwarts were touched with the warm glow of autumnal sunshine. A wizard with flowing silvery hair and beard, dressed in purple robes and vivid red hat, strode along the passage on his way back to his office. He barely seemed to notice how the normally grey stones of the walls shone with a faint golden tinge, didn't bother to glance out of the windows at the blue skies and windswept white clouds. Normally Albus Dumbledore would have enjoyed the beauty of such things, taken time to stop and marvel at them. Today though, he walked with his head slightly bowed, as if deep in thought. Albus's face was lined with worry and recent grief, his eyes duller than normal, and lacking their usual twinkle. Hearing the sound of approaching footsteps, he looked up and saw a tall witch in emerald green robes coming towards him. At once his face became lighter and younger looking, his eyes sparkled hopefully.

As Minerva McGonagall drew closer, Albus smiled tenderly at her and said"Good morning Minerva"

Hope left his eyes, and his face became unbearably sad, as Minerva swept past him in the corridor without so much as a glance or a single word. This had been going on for several days now. She barely acknowledged his existence, spoke to him only when school business demanded it, and steadfastly refused to look at him. His gaze followed her along the corridor willing her to turn back, to look at him, to smile at him. But her will was stronger and she vanished round the corner, leaving him alone again.

How much longer would she keep this up for ? Albus wondered forlornly. Of course he understood why Minerva was feeling so bad. He'd known this would be hard on her. Though he hadn't expected her to react in this way, to his decision to leave Harry with his relatives. Albus had thought that Minerva would need his comfort and support, he'd been ready for that, expected it. At first she had seemed almost normal with him, though quieter and more subdued certainly. As the days had passed Minerva had started to close off from him, it was as if an icy barrier had been erected between them. Try as he might he could not reach her, was shut outside, cut off from her. He'd never known her like this with him before. He was used to her fiery temper, and charmed it away with tender words, twinkling eyes, soft smiles and laughter, but this wall she was building between them scared him. He missed her so much. What if she never forgave him ? Never spoke to him again ? Albus didn't think he could bear it if that happened.

For a moment Albus stood motionless, almost as if he was waiting in case Minerva changed her mind and reappeared. Then he sighed sorrowfully and, slowly, almost unwillingly, resumed his walk to his office. Once in his office, he found it almost impossible to concentrate on the day to day business of running a school. Letters from parents remained unanswered, paperwork went unread, as the Headmaster for once neglected his duties. Instead he sat grave faced, hands clasped together, at his desk as he thought of Minerva. Struggled to find a solution, an idea, inspiration. How could he get her to talk to him again, to at least listen to him ? If she would just let him explain, give him a chance to talk to her. Normally Dumbledore always had a plan, even when things seemed impossible, he would find a way to make things right. This time, though, he had no plan, he was completely at a loss as to what to do. Finally he gave up on sitting and thinking, and started to pace back and forth on the carpet, hands clasped behind his back.

"Must you stomp up and down like that ? I'm trying to sleep you know! " complained one of the paintings that hung on the wall.

"If one wishes to take exercise, then one normally does so in the grounds, not in our office. We need our rest after all the hard work of being headmaster." agreed a languid looking man, from his painting.

Albus bit back an unusually irate response and, simply said "As you wish." Then turned and left his study. As he shut the door behind him, Albus thought how tiresome, the paintings on his walls could be at times. Normally he enjoyed chatting with them, was amused by their quirks and eccentricities, even found their input usefull on occassion. Today, though, he'd had enough of them, and was glad to escape the confining walls of his rooms. Perhaps a walk in the grounds wasn't such a bad idea, the fresh air might clear his head and help him to think.


	2. Hagrid's Idea

Chapter 2

As Albus walked in the grounds of Hogwarts, the sun warmed his face with it's golden rays, and the cool breeze danced in his hair and whiskers. The air from the mountains, that surrounded the castle, smelled of pinecones and heather. None of these made Albus feel any better, he was too deep in thought to notice. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't even hear when Hagrid wished him good afternoon, consequently he jumped slightly when Hagrid laid a heavy hand on his arm and asked loudly - "Professor Dumbledore, Sir, are you allright Sir ?"

"Ah, Hagrid, yes, yes absolutely." Seeing that Hagrid still looked concerned, Albus tried to reassure him. "Really my dear Hagrid, I assure you I am perfectly fine. I was simply distracted by my thoughts and didn't notice you immediately, I do apologise."

"It's Professor McGonagall thats worrin yer, isn't it Sir ?" When Albus didn't answer at once Hagrid continued ..."I've seen how things are between the two of yer these last days Professor, how she ain't hardly talkin to yer - and the two of yer used to be so close and all. It is that you're thinkin on isnt it Professor Dumbledore, Sir ?"

Albus sighed heavily before answering, "How very perceptive of you Hagrid, very perceptive indeed. Yes it is indeed the situation with Minerva that occupys my thoughts so much. If I could just think of some way to at least get her to speak with me, to listen to me. She will not even look at me, if only I could reach her in some way." Noticing how worried Hagrid was looking at his words, Albus stopped speaking for a minute. He was fond of Hagrid, and valued his friendship, something which surprised some people, who couldn't understand how two people so different could ever be friends. But Albus Dumbledore saw far more in Hagrid than the lumbering, not particularly clever, giant of a man that so many people saw. Hagrid had suffered too recently, Albus had no wish to increase those worries and so, despite his own pain, he tried to cheer Hagrid up, by saying. "I do apologise Hagrid. I should not inflict my ramblings on you, pray do not concern yourself with my problems. How are you today, my dear Hagrid ?"

"Now Professor Dumbledore don't you go worryin yer head about me, it's you and Professor McGonagall we should be worryin' about. If there's anythin I can do to help, Sir, anythin at all just you let me know Sir." Hagrid answered in his gruff warm voice.

"Most kind of you my dear Hagrid, thank you so much" Albus patted Hagrid on the arm, touched by his kindness. "Now, if you will excuse me I think I shall continue with my walk"

Albus had only gone a few steps when he heard footsteps pounding after him and Hagrid calling "Professor Dumbledore, Sir, flowers they like flowers Sir"

Bemused Albus turned to face Hagrid, "Flowers Hagrid, whatever do you mean ?"

"It's the flowers in my garden Professor Dumbledore, thats what made me think of it, and them so beautifull just now too"

"I'm sure they are most lovely Hagrid, and some other day I would be delighted to see your flowers. Perhaps Professor Sprout would like to see them, I'm sure she would appreciate them." said Albus, trying to sound patient, despite his increasing desperation to continue thinking of ways to make peace with Minerva.

"Thats just it Professor, Sir, what I've been tryin to tell yer, they like flowers they do" Hagrid was almost jumping up and down in his excitement, and his voice was growing louder and louder.

"Hagrid" said Albus striving to keep his voice calm despite rising impatience "Please try to explain calmly, and preferably briefly what exactly you mean. Who likes flowers ?"

"Women Sir, they like flowers, or at least I've heard tell that they do, seein' as I don't have much experience with ... uhm ... well you know Sir."

Hagrid turned slightly pink, but continued on regardless. "And Professor McGonagall is a woman Sir, isn't she, so she must like flowers too, and there's hundreds of them in my garden right now. You could have all of them if it'd help Professor."

For a minute or two Albus stared at Hagrid stunned, who would have thought that Hagrid would have given such useful advice on romance of all things. Recovering from the shock Albus found his voice. "My dear Hagrid, what an absolutely marvellous idea, I really must congratulate you. I shall indeed take your advice, you have really been most helpful Hagrid, thank you so much. I do not think I shall need all your flowers though Hagrid," Albus paused as he noticed a look of disappointment cross Hagrid's face. "After all I would not wish to deprive you of their beauty, but I would certainly appreciate it greatly if you would have several bunches sent to my office. I'm sure Minerva will also appreciate it too. It is a most generous offer Hagrid, once again I thank you."

"Happily, very happily Professor Dumbledore, Sir" said Hagrid who was beaming with pride at Dumbledore's praise.

Wishing a still beaming Hagrid farewell, Albus returned to his office with more of his normal spring in his step and began to prepare his plan. Hagrid's plan Albus corrected himself. Still slightly shocked he shook his head, and smiling to himself, thought once again how surprising it was to be following Hagrid's advice on romance. Still he was convinced that with a few extra touches of his own, this would work. By the end of the evening Minerva would be speaking to him again. Albus was sure of this, certain that at last the icy wall Minerva had erected between them would begin to thaw.

**_Author's Notes_**

**_Please review, it helps to keep me going, though I'd probably still write this story anyway since it's the type thing I'd enjoy to read. Reviews however make my day. _**

**_Preview of things to come_**

_**No spoilers btw, **_

_**Memory of Minerva, Albus, Harry and family having fun together. ** _ **_How Albus felt about giving Harry to the Dursleys, why he did it. Minerva remembers their first kiss, and how they first got together. Later chapters are quite alot from Minerva's point of view too. _**


	3. Flowers

Chapter 3

At 7.45 that evening Albus surveyed his office - glittering crystal vases filled with flowers adorned every surface, their perfume filled the room with a heady intoxicating scent. In the centre of the room stood a table, with an ornate golden candlestick in the middle, set with plates of the finest china. With a casual flick of his wand Albus lit the candles floating just below the ceiling, a second flick, and the plates filled with all of Minerva's favourite foods. A scroll had been sent to Minerva requesting her to come to his office at 8.00pm, to discuss matters of the utmost importance. Now all Albus had to do was wait for Minerva to arrive.

At 8.00pm exactly there was a knock on the door, glancing round his office to make sure everything was perfect for his beloved, Albus called softly "Come in."

As the door opened, Minerva's eyes burned with emerald fire as she took in the scene in the room. Noticed the soft warm light of candles floating in the air, the flowers everywhere, the table set for an intimate dinner for two. Her hands clenched tightly into fists as she stared around her in disbelief, was Albus really so stupid, so insensitive as this. With a feeling of impending doom, Albus noticed the anger in her eyes, groaning inwardly he thought, _'I knew I shouldn't have listened to Hagrid'_. Seeking to calm things down before they got out of hand he spoke gently, "Minerva, my dear ..."

"Don't you my dear me, Albus Dumbledore, how dare you get me here under false pretences" Minerva yelled.

"But, but, Minerva, my darling, I ..." Albus struggled for words to explain himself.

"I AM NOT your dear, nor your darling, or anything else either. And don't you ever forget that Professor Dumbledore." Minerva's voice was cold, almost callous, but the blazing fire in her eyes showed how furious she was. Normally seeing Albus hurt would have instantly awoken Minerva's well hidden tender side, but she was far too enraged to notice the spasm of sadness, and pain that crossed his face like a shadow, the sudden dullness in the normally twinkling eyes.

As Albus stood silent, lost for words, Minerva glared at the vases of flowers, as though they had quite deliberately set out to personally offend her. Anger at boiling point, Minerva lost all controll of her well known hot temper and, picking up the nearest vase flung it at Albus. Just in time Albus ducked, and seeing Minerva eyeing the other vases, as though they were ammunition, dived behind his desk. While Albus sheltered on his knees behind his desk Minerva continued to fling vases, flowers and plates at him. All the inhabitants of the paintings that hung on the walls were awake and watching, some tutted disapprovingly, others seemed to find it mildly amusing.

"Oh jolly good shot, nearly got him." Cried one, as Minerva threw a particularly well aimed plate of food at Albus. China shattered on the wall above him, as he shielded himself with his arm.

"Perhaps you should conjure a white flag of surrender to wave." Suggested the sarcastic tones of Phineus Nigellus, who had been watching with barely disguised amusement.

"Thank you, Phineus." Said Albus, attempting one of his famed headmasterly glares at Phineus. Unfortunately this had little effect, with Albus in such an undignified position for a headmaster.

Finally running out of things to throw, Minerva yelled. "Albus, how could you ?! How could you think this would make things right ! When you Abandoned that poor boy with those ghastly muggles, HOW COULD YOU !!"

With those words Minerva stormed from the office, slamming the door loudly as she left.

As the door slammed shut behind Minerva, Albus got to his feet, shocked, bewildered, and wounded by her words. At the look on his face the paintings fell silent on the walls. Some pretended to be asleep, and Phineus muttered something about going to check on Grimmauld Place, and vanished rapidly. Brushing dust from his robes, Albus stood head bowed, staring at the floor while Minerva's words about abandoning Harry played over and over in his mind, tormenting him with their accusations.

"You didn't abandon the boy, Albus. You sent him to his only remaining family, that's where he should be." Amando Dippet, Dumbledore's ex headmaster and mentor, spoke softly from his painting above the desk.

For a moment there was silence, as Albus fought for self control, then he spoke sadly.

"Not his only family, there was Minerva and I." Albus brushed a trembling hand across his face, as his eyes filled with unshed tears. Guilt welled up in him, how could he have sent Harry away ? Harry was his family, he'd always known it, but somehow saying the words out loud, made them seem more true. If only they were related by blood, and not just by love.

"You are not his blood relatives." Amando's face was sad, he was fond of Albus, and didn't like to see him so upset.

"She loves him as if he were her own." Albus murmered, remembering how Minerva had adored Harry from the moment he was born. Albus had always seen beyond Minerva's severe exterior to the tender warm heart she hid so well. Even so he had been surprised by her unexpected maternal side, had watched in astonishment, and then enchantment, as she held the new born Harry in her arms. A soft glow in her eyes as she sang a crooning scottish lullabye and rocked him to sleep. He'd been such a fool, how could he have thought flowers and romance would make this right.

"And you, Albus, what about you ?" Armando's question was gentle.

"Surely you know the answer to that, of course I love him, he's like a grandson to me." here Albus's voice cracked a little, lost some of it's customary calmness.

"Then why Albus, why ?" Amando asked. "Wouldn't Lily and James have wanted you to take him and raise him ?"

Albus's voice trembled as he answered, and his hands clenched the edge of his desk. "Because it was the best decision, the only possible decision, to give him to ..."

Albus could go on no longer, he dropped his head in his hands and tears fell down his cheeks. As he wept he was tormented by his own doubts, by an insistent voice that wouldn't go away, and asked over and over, _'was it really for the best ?' _So many loved ones lost in so few days, first James and Lily, then Harry, for ten long years, and now it seemed he would loose Minerva too. It had been many long years since Albus Dumbledore felt so lost, so alone.

**_Author's Notes_**

**_Thanks to everyone who reviews, I really appreciate people taking time to review. If you are enjoying the story so far, then please review._**

**_ I hope Minerva doesn't seem too negative, or mean to Albus in this chapter ? She has her reasons for how she is behaving, we will learn them later. For me, Minerva is a very positive character, I like strong willed, powerful, slightly fiercesome women with hearts of gold, and Minerva is all of that.  
_**

**_I was inspired at the weekend, and scribbled tons of notes for how this story will progress, they're still very rough and need forming into good chapters. I now feel that I mostly know how things will happen in this story, there's alot more of Albus and Minerva to come in later chapters. _** _**They're both going to suffer quite alot, there will be tons of angsty stuff, and may react in slightly uncharacteristic ways. For me that makes sense since they're both still grieving and under stress. There will also be some hopefully funny, lighthearted moments. I hope I didn't give too much away ? ;)**_

_**My next update should be at the end of the week, if my computer doesn't blow up. glares at computer and says don't you dare. **_


	4. Family

Chapter 4

Albus sat head in hands, long into the night, tortured with guilt, doubting his own decision about leaving Harry with the Dursleys. Perhaps Minerva was right, maybe he had abandoned Harry - was there another way ? Slowly during those long dark hours Albus reached a decision, perhaps he had acted too hastily in leaving Harry with the Dursleys. He must think again, look back at his decision and see if he had made the best choice, or if he had been wrong.

As Albus battled with self doubt, and self reproach, Minerva paced her rooms full of righteous fury with Albus. Her anger only slightly relieved by bellowing at a Gryffindor, who had dared to knock on her door.

The dawn sun was just beginning to touch the towers of Hogwarts, when Albus finally raised his head from his hands. His face was still pale and drawn, blue eyes still dull and tinged with sorrow. He looked utterly exhausted and very old. Amando Dippet gazed at him with concern from his place above Dumbledore's desk.

"Albus ..." Amando said gently, the concern evident in his tone of voice.

"I assure you I am perfectly well Amando." Even in his exhausted state Albus had noticed the worry in his old friends voice.

"I do not completely agree my dear boy, you really should go to bed and rest." Amando sometimes forgot that Albus was now a man, and no longer his pupil.

"I cannot ...I may have made the wrong choice regarding Harry, made a mistake. I must rethink my decision, I cannot delay. I acted for the best but, maybe there is another way." Albus said, in such a determined voice, that Amando sighed and was silent. Though he continued to watch his former pupil with great concern.

Albus knew what he must do. There was only one way that he could be sure, if the decision to leave Harry with his family had been right. Crossing the room, Albus took his pensieve out of the cupboard, and set it on his desk. Touching his forehead with the tip of his wand, he extracted a silver coloured memory and placed it in the pensieve. The mists in the pensieve swirled, as Albus bent his head and, looked into the bowl.

Harry was knee deep in the waters of the stream, at the bottom of Lily and James's garden, Albus was keeping a tight grip on his shirt, in case the toddler tumbled into the stream. Harry and Albus had been playing happily, in the warm late summer sunshine, for the last couple of hours. Both were plastered in mud, and damp with stream water. Both green and blue eyes twinkled merrily, alive with joy and fun. At first they had used pebbles and stones to build bridges and damms, Albus had used a little magic to build a sparkling waterfall. Now tiny ships with ornately patterened sails, of many different colours, drifted among the bridges. There was even a tiny pirate gallion, with cannons that went boom, and a captain who bellowed yo ho ho. Overhead a miniture golden phoenix flew. Harry was thrilled at the wonders Albus had produced, and reached out to them gurgling happily.

As it grew later, and dusk began to fall, Albus decided it was time to return to the others.

"Come Harry" he said, "It's nearly time for tea and bed, we should go and find your parents now"

"No !" Harry said with a stubborn look on his tiny face.

"Harry ..." Albus started to say.

"Ships." Harry said, reaching out to the magical ships still sailing the waters of the stream.

"There will be many other days when I can conjure ships and other wonders for you, Harry." Albus smiled down at the dark haired toddler, his eyes sparkling. "Come with me now, and I will tell you a story about a pirate captain who tried to steal a dragons gold"

"Okay." said Harry a little sleepily.

Albus lifted the child onto his shoulders, and pretending to be a horse, complete with horse noises, carried Harry up the garden to Lily, James, and Minerva, who were sitting chatting. As Albus watched his own conversation with Harry, his heart wrenched in sudden pain, he truly had thought at the time that there would be many more days like that with Harry. As it often did these last days guilt touched him, as he wondered if he could have done more to keep Harry's family safe. In truth though, he knew he'd done all he could. If only Lily and James had agreed to make him their secret keeper, things would have been different. Sadly Albus watched himself and Harry rejoin the others.

Lily and Minerva both looked up, as they heard Albus and Harry approaching. Albus noticed how both women's faces lit up with the same warm motherly smile, how their eyes glowed with a tender light.

_'Why didn't Minerva and I ever have children ?' _Albus wondered vaguely. '_Minerva would have been an excellent mother, such a shame in a way. Or was it ? After all for both of us the students are our children, just as it is for most of the staff, Hogwarts is their family. For Minerva her Gryffindors are like her own children, she loves them with a fierce pride, and would die to protect them if needed.' _

Instinctively Albus shuddered at the thought of loosing Minerva. Then smiled merrily, as he saw Harry envelop Minerva in a hug so tight that he nearly strangled her. His eyes twinkled as he watched Minerva return Harry's hug - she really did adore Harry. Albus loved seeing her like this, the glow of motherly love making her even more beautifull to him than normal.

Later that evening, the four of them sat by the fire, while Harry slept peacefully in his cot. Albus smiled at Minerva, his blue eyes mirroring the sparkle in her emerald eyes. Tenderly he kissed her on the cheek, and murmered words of love that only she could hear. Minerva rested her head on his shoulder, her fingers intwined with his, as they watched Harry sleep blissfully.

James smiled into Lily's eyes, and said, "If we're as much in love as them when we get that old we will have had a wonderful life together."

"Who are you calling old ?" Albus and Minerva said together.

"Grandma and Grandpa of course" answered James jokingly, with the same cheeky grin that Albus remembered so well from his days at Hogwarts.

Albus pretended to glare at him, Minerva tried to look fiercesome and stern, but neither could keep a straight face and everyone descended into helpless laughter.

Reluctantly Albus emerged from the pensieve - a soft smile on his face. For a minute or two he looked lighter, less careworn, blue eyes sparkling with memories. Then the realisation of loss of treasured ones returned.

_**Author's Notes**_

_**Thanks to everyone who reviews my story, it's really great incentive to keep writing. Please review and let me know what you think. **_

_**Things to come**_

_**How Albus felt when he found James and Lily dead, and feared that Harry might be dead too. (Chapter 5)  
**_

_**How Albus felt when he left Harry with the Dursleys, his worries for Minerva and how she was feeling. (Chapter 6)**_

_**These things come in the next two chapters. I'm a bit worried about the next two chapters, I wanted to put them in for the insight I hope they give into Dumbledore's feelings, but I'm a bit worried about them. They were part of my original concept of this story before it took on a mind of it's own and became so very much Minerva and Albus, and the effects of Dumbledore's decisions on them both. So anyway, please dont give up on the story if you arent keen on these two chapters, once they're out of the way it's very much about Minerva and Albus, lots of stuff from Minerva's point of view too. **_

**_Some very sweet romantic memories from when Minerva and Albus first got together, mushyness abounds. (chapter 7)_**

**_Why is Albus being bashed over the head by a scroll ? Albus makes a fateful choice. (Chapter 8) _**

_**Over half the story is roughly planned out now, the only thing I really need to decide on is the ending. I wrote lots of rough notes which will hopefully develope into some sweet light hearted moments, also wrote alot of angsty stuff. I think there will be about 25 to 30 chapters overall. **_


	5. Loss

Chapter 5

Warning, some swearing, just once, early on. If offended by this then don't read, I guess.

Reluctantly Albus emerged from the pensieve - a soft smile on his face. For a minute or two he looked lighter, less careworn, blue eyes sparkling with memories. Then the realisation of loss of treasured ones returned, he wiped a hand across his brow, as the smile faded and was replaced with a look of determination. Albus had known this would be hard - for a few more minutes he sat gathering his strength and will. Once again he touched his wand to his forehead, dropped another memory in the pensieve, and gazed into the swirling silver mists. 

Albus knew as soon as Moody's stricken features appeared in the fireplace that something terrible had happened. 

"Albus, the Potters - they've been attacked." Moody's voice was full of urgency, his face pale.

Albus's face instantly drained of colour, and for a moment it seemed his heart had stopped beating. 

"Where ?" was all Albus could think to say. 

"At their house. Albus we think it was Voldemort." 

"Oh Merlin!" Albus's face became grave with dread. All he could think was that he must go there at once, this was what he'd prayed would never happen. "I will apparate to Godric's Hollow at once, it should be possible to apparate there, since it seems that Sirius has betrayed the Potters."

"Aye, it seems he has, the bastard." Moody growled, "If I could just get hold of him ..."

"Now is not the time for thoughts of vengance Alastor. If the secret keeper has indeed betrayed them, then others will also be able to get to their house - that must be avoided. Tell Hagrid to meet me at Godric's Hollow and then keep all others away."

Moody nodded and started to withdraw his head from the fireplace. 

"Alastor ...are they ...?" Albus struggled to form the words, to the question that was uppermost in heart and mind.

"We don't know, I'm sorry Albus, I know how much they meant to you." Moody's voice shook slightly as he answered.

"They may not be dead, we may be in time to save them. There is always hope Alastor." As he spoke the words Albus knew that hope was slim, that almost certainly James, Lily, and little Harry were dead. There was a tiny glimmer of hope though, and Albus clung to that tiny glimmer, as a drowning man clings to wreckage. 

"Then we must trust in hope" Moody said gruffly and vanished.

With a loud pop Albus appeared at the door of Godric's Hollow. The door hung off the hinges at an angle, and was blackened with scorch marks, windows were smashed, and the once beautifull garden lay under a shroud of broken glass and ash. Surveying the scene Albus's fears grew - this bore all the marks of a deatheater attack, and if Voldemort had been there too then things looked very grim. 

Wand at the ready, he strode through the doorway to be met by a scene of utter destruction - broken furniture littered the room, the walls bore the marks of what looked like numerous explosions. The deathly silence told Albus that he was almost certainly too late, there would be no survivors. Voldemort would not have left until everyone was dead. His heart clenched in agony and loss, for a second all he could do was stand and mourn. In that brief moment of time he was tempted as never before to give up, to surrender to his pain and grief. The losses were too terrible to bear, there had been too many good people tortured and killed. How much longer could he keep a brave face for the sake of others, when he ached with the pain and loss inside. _'I must go on.' _he told himself, _'If I give in now then dark will have won, I will not permit that. They need me, Minerva needs me, so do the others. I will not permit Voldemort to be victorious.' _ Albus pushed aside his fear and grief, his eyes gleamed with determination as they scannned the room for signs of life. There was always hope, even in the darkest times, there was always hope - shining like a light in the darkness. 

As he strode into the hall, Albus saw the body of James, lying twisted at the foot of the stairs. In a second he was by his side checking for signs of life - there were none. James had died defending his family. Albus knew he would have fought with his last ounce of strength, now he lay broken on the floor, his body bearing the marks of numerous cruciatus curses. Dumbledore's eyes blazed with cold fury, as he gazed at the man who'd become like a son to him. That James, one of his favourite students, lay dead at his feet was almost more than he could bear. 

As Dumbledore reached out a tender fatherly hand to smooth James's hair, he heard a huge sob behind him. Turning he saw Hagrid, tears streaming down his face, at the sight of James's tormented corpse. Hagrid had been very fond of James, and had spent many happy days at Godric's Hollow, playing with Harry, whom he adored. 

"Hagrid, my dear Hagrid." As he spoke Albus rested a soothing hand on Hagrid's shoulder, "I am so very sorry, so very very sorry, but now is not the time to mourn our loss. We must be strong. I need you to help me search, we must find Lily and Harry, must discover what happened here."

"Sorry Professor Dumbledore, Sir." Hagrid said in a gruff voice, as he wiped a massive arm across his face. "I just ...I ...you can rely on me Sir."

"I know Hagrid, I know." Albus patted Hagrid once more on the shoulder, "Come we must search upstairs."

Albus's heart lurched in sudden agony, as they entered Harry's room, and saw Lily's lifeless body, sprawled protectively in front of Harry's cot. Albus had to blink several times, before he could see well enough to scan the room for signs of Harry. Behind him Hagrid gave a huge sniff, as he too fought for self controll. Dumbledore's throat tightened like a vice, and an icy cold crept up his body, as he searched the room with swift anxious eyes, and did not see Harry. He and Hagrid had searched every other room in the house, where was Harry ? Either the child was dead or he had been taken, Albus did not think he could bear either one, he felt as if his heart must stop beating with the agony of it. To think of Harry, his grandson in every way except blood, in the cruel hands of deatheaters or Voldemort was intolerable. 

"He must be here, he has to be here. He cannot have been taken." Albus was barely aware that he spoke.

"There now, Professor, we'll find him. We'll search all the day if we must, but we'll find him." Hagrid patted Albus on the shoulder, with a heavy hand.

"Yes, yes, Hagrid, we must search. We must find him or at least find the truth." Albus gripped Hagrid's hand in his briefly. "We must be strong. We must go on. Otherwise the sacrifice of all those who've died is in vain."

Just then a child whimpered faintly. Instantly Albus was in front of the cupboard, the sound had come from, the door was slightly ajar. Wrenching the door open fully, he saw Harry's tearfull face staring up at him, from the corner of the cupboard, where he was half hidden under a pile of clothes. Harry must have crawled into the cupboard to hide. Reaching out Albus lifted the child, and clutched him to his chest as tears flowed down his face. _'Thank Merlin, Harry was safe, against all odds he was alive. How had he survived ?' _ For what seemed like eternity, but was really only a few minutes, all Albus could do was hold Harry in his still trembling arms, as though he would never let him go. As Albus held Harry, he murmered soft soothing words, which calmed the whimpering child. 

As Albus regained his self controll, he was overtaken by concern for Harry's welfare - quickly he examined Harry, checking with slender fingers for signs of injury. Miraculously Harry was uninjured, except for a jagged lightning shaped scar on his forehead. As Albus's fingers brushed against the scar he felt a jolt of energy, and somehow he knew that Voldemort was gone, had been defeated by a mere child. Exaltation flashed into Dumbledore's eyes, then was gone again, to be replaced by darkness as he realised - Gone, but not forever. Voldemort would return one day, Dumbledore was certain of this. Dumbledore's fingers explored the scar once more, but whatever he had felt - whether it was some remmant of Voldemort or, just a memory of what had happened, it was gone now. 

Calmer now that Harry was safely found, Albus noticed how the air in the room seemed to vibrate, with the same type of energy he'd felt from Harry's scar, only much stronger. It was like an intense memory of power, of dark evil power. Voldemort had certainly been here in this room - he must discover what had happened here, he must be ready for Voldemorts return. But first Harry must be taken to safety, thought of the prophecy flashed into Albus's mind, secrecy was of the utmost importance - secrecy and safety. Albus would not risk Harry's life by keeping him here any longer, he must be taken to a safe hiding place for now. 

"Hagrid, take Harry to safety now. Take him to your hut, and keep him hidden there untill I come." Albus's voice was firm, and held a note of command.

Albus wrapped Harry tenderly in a blanket from his cot, and ruffling his hair, with a soft grandfatherly hand, passed him to Hagrid, whispering softly, "I will see you soon Harry. Be good for Hagrid."

"No-one must see you Hagrid, take him secretly and quickly. Be sure that you are not seen, and tell no-one." Albus commanded.

"Yes Sir, Professor Dumbledore, Sir, I'll keep him safe, dont you worry." Hagrid replied. 

Albus watched, as Hagrid left the room, with the now sleeping child cradled in his arms. Albus knew he could trust Hagrid, Harry would be well protected with Hagrid for the time. 

Now that Harry was safely away from Godric's Hollow, Dumbledore was better able to focus on the intense vibration he had sensed earlier. It was similar to, but stronger than, the remnant of magical energy he had felt, when his fingers first touched Harry's scar. As he moved around the room, wand at the ready, Albus could feel his wand quivering slightly, as the energy fluctuated in intensity. Finally he found the spot where the sensation was at it's most powerful. Sometimes after a magical battle, or a deed of great evil, the memory of such an act would remain in the place it had happened for a few brief hours. An extremely skilled wizard could capture this memory, draw it into his wand, and form it into an image of what had happened there. 

Dumbledore stood, wand held high, where the energy was most powerful, and muttering words under his breath, he drew the memories of what had happened into his wand. Threads of misty silver, like gossamer, swirled towards his wand, and were drawn in. When the last silvery thread had entered his wand, Dumbledore pointed his wand at the centre of the room, and watched with grave eyes as the images formed. 

He saw Voldemort enter the room flanked by the hooded figures of deatheaters. Albus's eyes darkened and became immensely sorrowful, as he heard Lily plead with Voldemort for Harry's life, heard her beg Voldemort to kill her instead. Fury grew in his dark grim eyes as he heard Voldemort's sadistic laughter, Dumbledore saw Lily refuse to step aside, watched as Voldemort struck her with the killing curse. Albus's face was gaunt with grief and anger, normally merry eyes were tormented, and full of cold fury, as the air around him seemed to quiver with his power and anger. 

And then Avada Kadavra was cast at the defenceless child - a flash of blinding light, Voldemort had vanished and Harry still lived. The deatheaters had fled, stunned and in disarray, but soon they would regroup and seek vengance, the tainted glory and fame of having killed the boy who lived. Harry was in grave danger still - despite Voldemort being gone, he must be kept safe at all costs. Lily had died to save her son, Albus would not betray her memory, Harry would be kept safe.

As Dumbledore stood in the room where Lily had died, he vowed that he would be ready when Voldemort returned, he did not know when that would be, but he would be ready. He must try to discover how one small child had managed to temporarily defeat the most powerful dark wizard of the time. Dumbledore knew that sometimes during magical duels that a spell cast by a wizard could rebound onto the caster, but Harry was a mere baby, and if that had happened then Voldemort would have been killed. Albus knew with absolute certainity that somewhere Voldemort still lived, vastly weakened maybe, perhaps without a body, but he lived and he would find a way to return no matter how long it took. Albus sighed, so there was time. Respite, time to regather the forces of light, to be ready - but that was all. Would it be enough ?

Albus's face was full of sorrow as he withdrew his head from the pensieve, to see once again how Lily and James had died, when his grief was still so raw was torment for him. All Albus could do for a while was to sit staring with unseeing eyes at the wall, fighting for self controll, gathering his strength for one more trip into the pensieve.

_**Author's Notes**_

**_Thanks to everyone who reviews, reviews make fanfic author's smile, and help us to keep going. Espeicially through those times when we have writers block, so thanks to everyone who reviews, you're all wonderful. :)_** _**Please keep the reviews coming.**_

_**This story doesn't comply with Deathly Hollows, nothing I write really complys with DH. I hope this chapter manages to show Dumbledore's side of things ? I wanted to show his love for Harry, but also that he is very driven by his wish to keep Harry safe. I think Dumbledore always wants to keep everyone safe, sometimes that lets him make choices that aren't always the best choice.**_

_**The next five chapters are mostly written, they need final editing and checking. I'll probably update about once a week, if I updated more often I'd start to panic about not having written the rest of the story yet. kicks writer's block, begs inpsiration to return.**_

_**Preview of things to come**_\/p

_**Final pensieve memory and Albus must decide, did he make the right choice. Chapter 6.**_

_**How did Albus and Minerva first become more than friends, Minerva remembers. Hopefully very romantic, and a bit funny. Chapter 7**_

_**Poppy is astonished to see Albus being hit by a scroll, chaos ensues. Humourous, with some sadness too. Chapter 8**_

_**Most men would flee, Albus stands his ground. (I don't want to give spoilers, so I hope that doesnt seem too obscure.) Chapter 9**_

_**I can't preveiw more without giving stuff away, all I can say is Severus will come into the story probably, if I stick to my present plans he may play an important role at times. Which may surprise people. The sorting hat makes an appearance too, but no one gets sorted. Minerva will be displeased about some rumours about her too.**_


	6. Decisions

Chapter 6

Albus sighed softly, ran a tired hand through his hair, touched his aching brow with his wand once again, and withdrew another memory. His hand shook slightly as he dropped the silvery strands into the pensieve, and bent his head over the bowl.

Harry slept in a nest of furs on Hagrid's bed, Albus stood looking down at him, grave faced with deep sorrow in his eyes. Harry looked so serene sleeping like that, to look at him, no one would know what horrors he had already suffered in his short life. Albus longed with every fibre of his being to gather Harry into his arms, to hold him there, and keep him safe and happy forever. If only that were possible, sadly Albus knew it was not. He was determined to gaurantee Harry's safety, to take no chances whatsoever. This meant that Albus had to make one of the hardest choices he had ever made. The choice to send Harry to the Dursleys, instead of taking him and raising him with Minerva.

On his way to Hagrid's Albus had already formed a plan. Already decided what had to be done to protect Harry. It was Lily's sacrifice that had given him the idea, reminded him of the ancient magic that a mother's sacrifice could invoke. Had Lily known of this magic when she gave her life to save Harry ? Albus wondered, or had it just been the natural protective urge that every mother had ? Now all it needed was for him to cast the charm, a simple spell, as much of the ancient magic was, but immensely powerful, unbreakable. And then, to seal the charm by giving Harry to his Mother's last remaining blood relative, Petunia Dursley. Harry would live, Voldemort and his followers would be unable to harm him, and yet, Dumbledore hesitated, found it hard to make the final choice.

Instead, he bent to softly stroke the cheek of the sleeping child, as he whispered. "Oh Harry, if only it wasn't for that prophecy."

Dumbledore wasn't certain if he believed in the prophecy or not, he'd never been a great believer in divination. It certainly seemed to be coming true though, what if one day this child would free the world of Voldemort. If there was even a chance of this, then surely, it was his duty to keep Harry safe. As he looked at Harry, so vunerable sleeping among the furs, Dumbledore knew there was a far stronger reason to keep Harry safe - Love.

Just then, Harry stirred, and opened his eyes briefly - emerald green eyes, which seemed like a gateway to his soul, so like his Mother's eyes. Albus could almost imagine that Lily lived again, as he gazed at Harry's face, with those emerald eyes. Albus felt his determination waver, began to doubt if he could bring himself to do this, to loose Harry for ten long years. In the end, though, it had been Harry's eyes that had sealed his fate. Those shining green eyes had convinced Dumbledore that Petunia would come to love him, given time. It was love that blinded Dumbledore that day, looking down at the boy he adored, he couldn't imagine how anyone could fail to love Harry.

So, with heavy heart, Dumbledore sat at the table in Hagrid's hut, and started to write a letter to Petunia Dursley.

_My Dear Petunia,_

_I am sorry to have to inform you that your sister, Lily, and her husband, James, are dead. They were murdered by Voldemort, doubtless you will not have heard of him. He is an evil wizard, of great power, he attacked Lily and James becuase he wished to kill their son, Harry. This child, which I leave on your door, is Lily's son Harry, he has his mother's eyes, Lily's eyes. You are his last remaining blood relative, as such, I trust you will find it in your heart to give Harry a home, to love and care for him as if he were your own. _

_It is of the utmost importance, that you give Harry a home, indeed, it is the only way to gaurantee that he will not meet the same terrible fate as his parents. Voldemort, and his followers wish to kill Harry, he is in grave danger. Lily sacrificed her own life to protect Harry, with this act she invoked magic which would keep Harry safe, if he is given a home by you, his blood relative. For the sake of your sister, and in memory of her sacrifice, I trust that you will love Harry as your own son. I remember how much you loved Lily, I know of course, that in recent years things have been less than cordial between you. I beg you, though, to put the past aside, let this child be the one to heal old wounds. I know that Lily never stopped loving you, only love, your love can keep Harry safe now. _

_Finally, I assure you that by taking Harry in, you do not endanger yourselves. I give you my word on that, though I am sure that your main concern is for Harry and his welfare. _

_I am yours most sincerely,_

_Albus Dumbledore. _

With a sigh, Albus put down his quill, and stepping to the door, called to Hagrid, who had been on guard outside. "Hagrid, I have a mission for you, please come inside."

Once Hagrid was in the room, with the door safely shut, Albus spoke quietly, a slight tremble in his voice.

Hagrid, you must take Harry and meet me outside the Dursley's house, let no one see you. This must be kept secret."

"The Dursleys, Sir ?" Hagrid asked. He had heard of the Dursleys, James had spoken of them occasionally, often with deep anger about their treatment of Lily. So, Hagrid was surprised, and confused, by Dumbledore's words.

"Yes Hagrid, the Dursleys." Albus sighed, and nodded sadly.

"You're going to leave him with them Sir ?" Hagrid asked, stunned, he had thought, hoped, that Dumbledore would raise Harry. This thought had eased his grief over the loss of James, and Lily, a little. Hagrid adored young Harry, and had imagined many fun days with him roaming the grounds of Hogwarts, had made many plans, to teach him everything he knew, about magical beasts and the ways of the wild.

"Yes Hagrid." Albus could not bring himself to say more, as he bit back his sadness, and noticed the sorrow on Hagrid's face. He must appear strong in front of Hagrid.

Hagrid hesitated, he trusted Dumbledore absolutely. Dumbledore was a great and good man, whatever Dumbledore did was for the best, but ...

Seeing his hesitation, Dumbledore spoke, gently. "Hagrid, Harry must be kept safe, he must be protected, this is the only way to do that." Dumbledore rested his hand on hagrid's shouldder lightly. "I'm sorry to have to ask this of you Hagrid, but I must, please trust me in this."

"Always Professor Dumbledore, Sir, always, you know that." Hagrid answered with a tremble in his voice.

"Thank you Hagrid, and now we must act fast, take Harry at once please. Use Sirius's motorbike, it will be less easily traced, meet me in the street outside their home. Be sure you are not followed, and that no one sees you." Dumbledore's voice was calm, almost cold, his face devoid of emotion, apart from his eyes, which were dull and lacked their normal twinkle.

"Yes Professor Dumbledore, Sir." Hagrid said mournfully, and gave a massive sniff.

Slowly, gently, Albus bent and lifted Harry, held him one last time in his arms, kissed him for the final time, and passed him to Hagrid. Then stood, head bowed, unable to watch as Hagrid left with Harry.

The next memory flowed seamlessly from the previous one, as though irretrivably linked.

In a dark street, Albus Dumbledore walked towards the door of the Dursley's house, carrying a basket with a sleeping baby in it. Stooping he set the basket gently on the doorstep, stood for a moment as grief filled him. He nearly weakened, nearly picked the basket up again and took Harry to be his own, but forced himself to make the neccessary sacrifice. Harry must live. Bending down, Albus tucked the blanket tenderly round the sleeping baby, as a single tear rolled down his crooked nose, and landed in Harry's jet black hair, where it shone like a crystal.

"Don't forget me Harry." He whispered, then with one final glance turned and left. Right now Albus didn't want to love Harry. He wished he could be cold and dispassionate, turn off his caring, his longing, his needing. He felt as if he were ripping part of himself out, and leaving it there on the cold dark doorstep. Albus knew Minerva must be feeling the same too. Even though she had said scarcely anything as he told her of his decision, seeming still numb with shock at the loss of James and Lily. Albus decided then that he must put on a pretence of calmness, he was convinced that this would make things easier on Minerva. Calmness had it's attractions right now, he must strive to turn off his pain, his sense of loss, to not care - or at least to care less. How could he formulate a plan to deal with Voldemort's inevitable return, if he was in such a state that he could not think clearly. Harry would be safe here, he must let him go. It was best this way, he would be so busy, had so much to do, Harry was better with people who could give him more time. His duty, was to find answers, to be ready. Albus tried hard to convince himself of this, as he fought his own personal battle that night.

Albus's thoughts, couldn't help but turn to Minerva, though, as he saw her standing bereft in the deathly dark street. He could hardly bring himself to look at her, dreading the pain he would see on her face, and so, for once, Albus was glad of the darkness that shrouded her. Felt that he deserved the guilt that already gnawed at his soul, for being the instrument of her suffering. Wordlessly, they seperated, as planned. Each one leaving in a different direction. As Albus turned the corner, he cast a knocking charm on the Dursley's door, then he vanished and was gone. Leaving Harry behind, along with a large part of his heart.

After he emerged from the pensieve, Albus sat deep in thought, going over his decision. Harry would be safe with him and Minerva at Hogwarts, the school was well protected, by many powerful wards. Students had died here before though, look what had happened when the chamber of secrets had been opened. If Harry stayed here, the charm would be broken, Harry would be vunerable, there would be no gaurantees. Was there any other way to be sure that Harry could not be harmed ? Albus sought desperately for other options, even though he knew there were none, so powerful as the charm he had already sealed on Harry.

Albus had spent almost his entire adult life fighting evil, in one form or another. Despite his love for Harry, he was not completely able to turn off his sense of duty, his concern for humanity. If there was even the slightest chance, that Harry might be the one to defeat Voldemort, then Harry must live, for the sake of the world. _'I should make this sacrifice willingly.' _he told himself, _'I will see him again in 10 years, he will be safe, his family will care for him.' _Albus remembered meeting Petunia as a small girl, during Lily's first years at Hogwarts. Albus had known, how much Petunia had longed to come to Hogwarts too, so she would not be separated from the sister she had adored. He recalled the letter she had sent him, begging to be allowed to come too. It had saddened him greatly, but he'd had to say no, had tried to be kind. Albus had sought her out, when Lily's family came to visit, shown Petunia round the school, tried to make her feel a part of things. She'd been silent, maybe a little sullen, but it could have been shyness. Albus had been sure that he'd seen tears in her eyes when it was time to leave, surely she would love Harry, would see Lily in him, and open her heart to him.

It was only right, that Harry should go to his family, Albus told himself, what real right did he and Minerva have to keep him ? He tried not to think about, whether Lily and James would have agreed with his choice or not. Albus sighed, he knew that if he followed his heart and kept Harry, then Harry would be loved and adored. Would grow up happily in the magical world he belonged in, Albus knew it would be harder on Harry to grow up among muggles. Children with magical abilitys, often faced prejudice from muggles. There was much more risk of this with children from muggle familys, since they naturally had more contact with people of no magical ability, who were often scared of the accidental magic young wizards did, as they learned to harness their abilitys. Petunia, too, would need time to learn to love and care for Harry, but Dumbledore was sure eventually she would come to love him. Maybe Harry wouldn't be so adored, so treasured, as he would be with him and Minerva, and he would suffer, missing his parents, but he would be safe and cared for.

Finally Albus asked himself if he could do this to Minerva. Albus was well aware just how much Minerva treasured and adored Harry, knew fully that he was like her own son. Albus felt sickened, by the thought of the pain, that being without Harry for so long, would cause Minerva. It seemed to him, an incredibly cruel thing to have to do. He loved Minerva so much, she was his life, his centre. He only wished for her to be happy, and now, to cause her such pain and sadness was intolerable agony for him. _'What right do I have to take a boy she loves as her own from her ?' _Albus asked himself, rubbing bloodshot eyes with a tired hand. The answer came into his mind, unwanted, almost resented, _'What right do I have to risk Harry's life, to not do everything I can to safeguard him.' _Surely Minerva would come to understand, and accept that it was for the best, he must keep trying to explain to her. Albus Dumbledore hated himself for the choice he made, for deciding that Harry must stay with the Dursleys. He broke two hearts with his choice, but he was certain that it was the right and only choice. Harry's safety was paramount.

_**Author's Notes**_

_**Thanks to everyone who reviews, you're all wonderful, and help to keep me writing. :) Please review, fanfic authors love and treasure reviews. **_

_**So I hope you're not all screaming at Albus now ? ;) I wanted to scream at him, when I was proof reading this, wanted to yell, "No, you fool, Petunia isn't going to love him and care for him, she's going to shut him in a cupboard etc." ;) I think Dumbledore can sometimes be too trusting though, that's one thing I tried to portray here. **_

_**Is Albus's decision final ? Is there anything Minerva can say or do to change it ? I don't know yet, haven't quite decided, honestly that's the truth. **_

_**Next chapter is from Minerva's point of view, and focuses mainly on romance and general mushiness. Minerva misses Albus, even though she wishes she didn't. **_

_**I keep getting distracted from this story by other fanfic ideas, so I'm going to be really trying to get my focus back. I'm determined to finish this story, but write better when inspired. Next update in about a week. **_


	7. First Kiss

Chapter 7

_The first time ever I saw your face,_

_I thought the sun rose in your eyes,_

_And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave_

_To the dark and the empty skies, my love,_

_To the dark and the empty skies._

_The first time ever I kissed your mouth,_

_And felt your heart beat close to mine,_

_Like the trembling heart of a captive bird_

_That was there at my command, my love_

_That was there at my command._

_And the first time ever I lay with you_

_I felt your heart so close to mine_

_And I knew our joy would fill the earth_

_And last till the end of time, my love_

_It would last till the end of time my love. _

_song lyrics by Ewan McColl, not by me._

While Albus spent that day seeking answers in his pensieve, Minerva did her best to carry on as usual. Though she was even more stern than normal in her classes, and gave out several detentions. When lessons were finally over for the day, Minerva was glad to escape to the sanctuary of her rooms. Where she promptly busied herself with books and papers, anything to keep the thoughts that haunted her out of her mind. She found it difficult to focus though, and as Minerva glanced out of her window, she saw the full moon shining on the lake, painting silver ever moving paths across the dark waters. She couldn't help but be reminded of that twilit night when it had all begun, when things between Albus and herself first began to move beyond mere friendship. A smile lit up her face, as she drifted back in time and remembered...

Minerva had been drawn outside by the temptation of the freshness in the air, after the day's rain. Having grown up in the highlands of Scotland, she loved to be outdoors, always needed the feeling of freedom it gave her. Moonlight had touched the waters of the lake that night too, that and the song of the merfolk had called to her. Reaching the lake she'd flung off her shoes, and let her hair fall loose around her shoulders. She had walked barefoot along the stoney shores - nostrils alive with the scent of grass after rain, loving the touch of the cool breeze on her skin. Lost in her own world, Minerva was utterly unaware of the entrancingly beautifull image she made, in her emerald dress with flowing raven black hair, and bare feet, which seemed to dance lightly across the ground. A pair of blue eyes that sparkled noticed her beauty though, watched enraptured at seeing his best friend so. Albus could not take his gaze from her, he was captured in a blissful trap, that he had no wish to escape from.

As Minerva wandered, she'd tripped on a loose stone and nearly fallen, just in time Albus had rushed to her aid. He'd caught her in arms that were surprisingly strong and powerful, held her just a little longer than was neccessary. Albus's beard had brushed her face softly, his breath, soft and warm, caressed her cheek with fingers of flame - their heads closer together than ever before. Minerva had tensed a little in pleasurable anticipation, certain he would kiss her, longing for the touch of his lips on hers, filled with desire to stay in his embrace forever. This was the moment she'd wished for so often these last months, too shy to give him any hint, and fearing also to ruin a precious and valued friendship.

Tentatively Minerva lifted her head to look into Albus's eyes - shyly raised her lips ready for the caress of his first kiss. For a moment Albus had gazed into her emerald green eyes, and she thought she saw passion burn in his pale blue eyes. But the hint of passion turned to concern, as he broke her heart, unintentionally, with his words.

"Minerva, are you all right ? Did you injure yourself ? " Albus asked tenderly.

"No, no, of course not. Don't fuss so." Minerva had snapped, angry with herself for her foolish desires.

Albus, however, had noticed how she winced slightly in pain and, despite her protests, had insisted on taking her by the arm and escorting her to her rooms. Once there, he'd settled her in a chair, and asked softly how she was. Then like the gentleman he always was, had left, with a half smile and a gentle good night. Minerva had cursed him silently for being such a gentleman, she'd cursed him even more, when Madame Pomfrey had turned up, and proceeded to fuss over her.

Minerva was powerless to stop the flow of memories now, as she was carried back in time to those heady intense days so many years ago.

Minerva had spent the next few days torn between avoiding Albus, and being as close to him as possible, as often as she could. His presence was both agony, and ectasy for her. Sometimes she thought she felt his eyes upon her, but when she looked at him, his gaze was elsewhere. _'It must be imagination' _she told herself, '_stop being so silly'_. Minerva hated feeling so out of control, she had been falling in love with Albus for months now, but that evening by the lake had intensified her feelings to an almost unbearable level. Even when teaching, she found it near impossible to think of anything other than the feel of his arms around her, his breath on her face. She felt so intensely alive, it was both wonderful and terrible. He was there in her thoughts every second, filling her with longing.

When not in his company she missed him terribly, felt bereft, naked, and cold. When in his presence, she almost suffered more, fought desperately to surpress her wish to feel his touch on her skin, to be kissed by him. It was only later that she discovered that Albus, too, had felt the same as her, and, like her, he'd been too shy, too scared to risk their friendship, to say anything.

One day she saw him at the foot of the main staircase, was tempted for one crazy, insane moment, to take a tumble down the last few steps, in hopes that he'd catch her again. Maybe this time he would hold her for longer, kiss her on the mouth. Maybe he'd sweep her into his arms and carry her off ...'_You idiot !' _She told herself, _'Stop acting like a crazy teenager. You'll break your neck if you try anything so foolish, and serve you right too.' _So, she'd turned and swept off up the stairs, trying to keep her dignity intact, and her desires under strict controll, while Albus stared after her confused.

For many years, they had met in Albus's rooms in the evenings to play chess, though more often they simply chatted and laughed together, shared the pleasure of each other's company. Minerva had approached the coming evening with a mixture of dread and anticipation, half tempted to make an excuse not to go. Albus had greeted her as usual and then said.

"I thought instead of playing chess tonight that we might read a book together. I have a most interesting new book on quiddith that I think you will enjoy."

Before Minerva could help herself, she had thought, _'It's not quidditch I want, you fool, it's you.' _For a moment, she feared she'd spoken the words aloud. When he didn't seem to react, she was able to breath again, and answered as casually as possible, "That sounds most enjoyable Albus."

_'But not as enjoyable as kissing you'. _The thought rose, unwanted in her mind. _'SHUT UP !' _she told herself fiercely, _'Behave dammit.' _

"Shall we sit down, my dear ?" Albus asked, and took a seat on the sofa by the fire. His eyes had sparkled with a strange intensity, as he had patted the cushion next to him, in invitation.

Tremulously she sat next to him, silenced a gasp as she felt Albus move closer to her. Minerva tried to feign interest in the book Albus had opened, but it was impossible to concentrate on anything except him, his closeness, his aroma - lemon drops and hot chocolate. There was the tinyiest of gaps between them, even so, she could feel his warmth, reaching out and filling her with desire. She was caught between conflicting urges, longing to fling herself into Albus's arms and kiss him, desperate to escape to a safer place to sit. Minerva couldn't do either, without risking looking a fool, so she held herself rigid, fought to keep her breathing even, terrified that he must sense how she felt.

"Minerva ? You seem very tense, tonight, is anything wrong ?" Albus asked resting a gentle hand on her arm.

His touch burned like fire, surging through her body. Oh how she longed to be held by him, no one had ever made her feel like this before.

"Busy day ...papers to mark...forgot...must go." Minerva tried to keep her tone nonchalant. She was convinced that Albus must guess, _'Trust her to fall for one of the best legimens around.'_

"You work too hard, my dear Minerva. You should relax more." Albus's voice was tender, slightly concerned. His hand still rested lightly on her arm.

Minerva could stand it no longer, she must get away, before she lost control and ruined everything. She almost lept from the sofa, sent the book crashing to the floor.

"Yes, Yes, I will. Good night." She gasped and fled from his rooms. She didn't notice the sadness, and longing on his face, as Albus stood gazing after her.

As the days went by, Albus seemed to be always there. Minerva couldn't turn a corner without bumping into him, couldn't enter a room without finding him already there, smiling softly at her with twinkling eyes. Sometimes Albus seemed to look at her with an unusual expression on his face, it held a hint of sadness, and something else that she couldn't read. She began to wonder if he felt the same as her, but dismissed it as impossibly crazy. The thought kept returning though, filling Minerva with the wish to know the truth.

Over the next few days, Minerva's worries grew, as she found herself unable to look Albus in the eye, or be her old relaxed self with him. Already damage was being done to their friendship, Minerva needed Albus so much, couldn't imagine life without him. _'This needs sorting out.' _She thought, _'I have to know if there's any chance, any chance at all. If there isn't then I can put this nonsence out off my mind.' _Minerva tried to ignore the feeling, that told her, this would be nearly impossible. _'It's better to be just friends than nothing at all.' _She told herself, _'If I could just know the truth.' _

The thought of sorting things out was so much on her mind, that one evening Minerva found herself raising the subject, without really intending to. Minerva had just meant to sound Albus out a little, to discover if there was any chance, whatsoever, that he might feel even slightly the same as her.

"We are very good friends indeed, aren't we Albus ?" She'd asked, and then, slightly paniced by the moment of silence, that followed this question she began to babble. "Good friends, they can sometimes ...do you think ...that we might, one day, you might ..." Minerva was well aware that she was drowning in a sea of words, but she couldn't stop herself, couldn't help but blurt it out. "Are you in love with me Albus, could you love me ?"

After Minerva had spoken she could have killed herself, would willingly have died then and there, as Albus stood silent, eyes wide, with what looked like horror. His silence was all the answer she needed. Time seemed to stop, everything trapped in a silence that lasted an eternity, as things seemed to darken around her, and the breath froze in her lungs. As Minerva stood motionless, facing embarassment and certain humiliation, her heart began to break apart inside her, fragmenting into a thousand tiny shards of agonising pain. Minerva had thought her world would end, she cursed herself for having spoken - '_she should have known. It was just his natural kindness, she'd been such a fool.' _

If only she had kept silent, she would at least have had the illusion of something more to cling to, would have had hope. Now she'd have to face the coldness, and bleakness, of the fact that he clearly only saw her as a friend, a very dear friend maybe, but still just a friend. What if she lost his friendship, what if he started to avoid her, she'd have to resign, No, he'd probably fire her, her life was over. She'd never be able to face him again.

Before Albus could speak or move, Minerva had turned and fled, tears of self rage, hatred and humiliation flooding down her face.

It had been several minutes before Albus could gather his thoughts enough to move, he had never imagined that she could love him too. Then he had run after Minerva, blaming himself for his silence, his inability to respond immediately. Albus searched desperately for Minerva, but couldn't find her anywhere. He knocked, fruitlessly, on the door of her quarters, peered into dusty forgotten rooms, ran along corridors, until thouroughly out of breath. Still he could not find Minerva.

Finally, Albus had found Minerva, by the shores of the lake, huddled against the trunk of a willow tree, head in her hands.

At the last moment, Minerva had heard his soft familliar footstep, had tried to surpress her tears, had hidden her face in her hands. Albus had reached out to her tenderly, she had pulled away. She didn't want the humiliation of being comforted by him, when she knew now that he did not love her, would never love her.

"Minerva, please ..." Albus said gently.

"Go ...away...please ...just go." Minerva just wanted him to go away, she couldn't face him, wasn't sure if she could ever face him again.

Albus reached out his hand to her, then withdrew it, unsure what to do to comfort her, to make things right. Albus's eyes were full of guilt, as he gazed at Minerva, he could see how much she was hurting. Saw her fight to gain controll, to stop the tears, to cover up her pain. Albus had always admired Minerva's strength and courage, _'Why wasn't I brave enough to tell her how I felt? That she should suffer such pain becuase I was too afraid to speak, I'm such a fool.' _he thought miserably. _'She deserves so much better than me.' _Once again, Albus moved as though to touch Minerva, faltered uncertainly, unsure if he would make things better or worse, if he tried to hold her, as he longed to do with all his heart and soul.

"Minerva, please, I must tell you, I do ..." Albus's voice shook slightly, as he spoke.

"If you're going to try lying to me, then don't bother." Minerva had tried to use a mask of defiance, and anger, to hide her heartbreak. "I know you don't love me," Minerva's voice trembled and nearly broke. "If you did, you'd have answered me at once."

"I was stunned, I didn't know what to say, that's why I didn't answer you at once." Albus had tried to explain, berating himself inwardly for his own failure.

"The great Albus Dumbledore lost for words ...I find that hard to believe." Minerva was bitter and reproachful, embarrassed by her foolishness in thinkng he felt the same as her.

"Not so great, if I have caused you such pain, that you now feel the need to wound me in return," Albus had answered, his face clearly showing how hurt and saddened he was. "It's true that normally I do not struggle for words, but love does strange things to people my dear."

Minerva had glanced at Albus then, scarcely daring to believe what she'd heard, seeking other explanations for his words. Her look was a silent question, and Albus answered her willingly. Taking her in his arms, he used one tender, but commanding, hand to raise her lips to his and softly, longingly kissed her. He tasted faintly of lemon drops, and his whiskers tickled her face, as Minerva reached up and stroked his silvery hair. Albus's kiss was gentle, respectfull, almost polite in it's hint of shyness, but it was rich with the power of his love for her. As he lifted his lips from her's to tell her of his love, Minerva hushed him with her hand, whispering, "I know now, my darling, you don't need to tell me," And caressed his mouth with her's.

Minerva could almost feel again Albus's lips on hers, the strong fierce warmth of his embrace. Suddenly a sound outside jerked her from her memories, she sighed softly at first, then as she regained her self controll, her lips tightened in displeasure. Determined not to be captured by foolish sentiment again, Minerva forced herself to focus on marking some papers.

That night Minerva couldn't sleep, she lay tossing and turning, intensely aware of the empty space next to her. The absence of Albus was as if a part of her was missing. Without him there by her side she could not find peace. The memories came to taunt her then, torturing her softly with their sweetness. Minerva remembered how it had felt to lie in his arms those first few times, when they'd both been so shy still. They had both been almost afraid to touch each other, still worried to ruin their friendship. So they'd lain rigid, and unmoving, in each others embrace. Untill Albus, in desperation, had said "Lemon drop, my darling ?" and taken a paper bag from under his pillow.

"Oh Albus ! Really !" Minerva had answered, "Only you would offer someone lemon drops at a time like this." She'd said it with a smile though, irrisistably charmed by his childlike naivity.

Albus had chuckled lightly, and answered tenderly. "Doubtless you are right, my darling."

The shared laughter had relaxed them both, and they had spent the rest of the night enjoying the warmth of lying so close together. Time had seemed to last for a wonderful eternity, every sense intensely alive with delight, as they held each other. Minerva recalled how soft Albus's skin had felt, how his beard and hair had shone silver in the candlelight, how his eyes had twinkled as he bent to kiss her.

Minerva missed everything about Albus. She was filled with a desperate urge to run to him, to fall into his arms, and stay there forever. Minerva hated herself for feeling this way. Cursed her longing to lie in his embrace, to just see his smile. Cursed too, that damm moon on the lake, and the memories it had awoken in her. Angrily she flung her desires away, used all her formidable will power to batter them into submission. Minerva was determined to go through this alone, would not permit herself the luxury of falling apart in front of Albus. She had no wish to see the pain in his eyes, as he watched her suffer. She knew Albus, he felt everyone else's pain so intensely, blamed himself so often.

This was always her way to deal with loss or pain - strict self controll, no surrender. Keep everything tight inside, if that meant pushing people away, then so be it. Stern with her students, she was even more stern with herself, thinking, perhaps foolishly, that it was what kept her strong. Minerva was terrified of the weakness of giving into her grief and loss.

In his tower Albus too endured a restless tormented night, despite his exhaustion. Though he slept, his sleep was full of nightmare images of death and loss, of cold barren loneliness. Albus slept fitfully, waking often, sometimes reaching out for Minerva, only to touch emptiness instead. Occasionally a tear glistened on his cheek, a moan escaped his lips.

Both were glad when that night was over. Both of them felt drained and worn low, as they rose unusually early, taking no joy in the dawn of a new day.

_**Author's Notes**_

**_Thanks to all you wonderful people who review. Reviews make writers days, and paint happy smiles on their faces, so please review. :)_**

_**Sorry that this update took so long to come, I felt a bit grotty for several days and just wanted to sleep all the time. Then when I did start writing again it was on my other story, love, ink and candy and on a later chapter of this story. I tend to panic if I don't have at least something done for later chapters. **_

_**Well I hope this chapter is mushy enough for everyone ? ;) Parts of it were inspired by my own expeirience of falling in love with my best friend, though we didn't have moonlit lakes and hogwarts.**_

_**The song lyrics at the start of the chapter are by Ewan McColl, I did not write them, I wish I had, since they are so beautifull. They were written by him for his wife, Peggy Seeger, and imo the best version of the song is sung by her. I wanted to use them so much, cos they seem so perfect for Minerva and Albus, and for this chapter, so I hope it didn't confuse people to have a poem at the start of the chapter. :)**_

**_Preview of things to come_**

**_A slight deviation from the main story, a chapter dealing with Sirius and the differing reactions of Minerva and Albus to his seeming betrayal. _**

**_Some humourous light hearted moments involving the sorting hat. I don't know what else to put here without giving things away, other than to make obscure references to water, cats, lemon drops and minerva's bedding. :D_**


	8. Scrolls

Chapter 8

The next morning, Albus forced himself to fufill his duty as headmaster, and attend breakfast in the great hall. He could not bring himself to eat though, and simply fiddled absently with his food. Madam Pomfrey, Hogwart's healer, watched him with concern, noting the tiredness and strain on his face, the exhaustion in his eyes. She had been worried about Dumbledore for several days now, had noticed how little he was eating, if something wasn't done he would make himself ill. Poppy Pomfrey knew it would be no good trying to talk to Albus now, but she fully intended to pay him a visit later, and if neccessary, to lecture him on the foolishness of such self neglect. Poppy's lips pursed in disapproval, as she watched Albus continue to pick at his food, surely he was old enough and wise enough to know better than this. She shook her head sadly, perhaps recent events had been too much for him, even the strongest broke sometimes. Poppy was fond of both Minerva, and Albus, feeling in her heart that they were made for each other, she hoped very much that they could solve their problems. She had been keeping an eye on both of them since the Potters had been killed.

Poppy had an unusually busy day, dealing with various minor injuries and illnesses, so it was not untill late afternoon that she had time to make her planned visit to Dumbledore.

"Fizzing Whizbees." Poppy said, immediately the gargoyle, that guarded the spiral staircase to Dumbledore's office lept aside. Smoothing her robes, Poppy stepped onto the moving stairs, with an expression of sternest determination on her face. She knew Dumbledore well, it was the not the first time she'd had cause to lecture him about not eating and sleeping properly. Dumbledore was far too inclined to put the needs of others ahead of his own, and this often led to him failing to get enough rest or nourishment.

Before Poppy could knock on the door, the headmaster's voice bade her enter. How did he always know, she wondered. Poppy opened the door of Dumbledore's offices, to see Albus sitting behind his desk, looking very sorry for himself indeed. A large scroll was whacking him on the head repeatedly, Albus barely seemed to notice it, and made no move to prevent it.

"Albus ?!" Poppy gasped, in astonishment and confusion.

"My dear Poppy, this is a most unexpected pleasure, what may I do for you today ?" Albus tried to fake a smile, his normal merry twinkle remained noticeably absent though.

"Albus, the scroll ? Aren't you going to ...?" Poppy asked, her concerns growing. Could he really be unaware of it ?

"What ? Ah! Oh, yes, of course." Albus sighed heavily, and drawing his wand, cast a vanishing spell on the scroll. For a moment he gazed after the scroll sadly, almost as though he missed it, then sighed again.

"I'm worried about you, Albus. You haven't been eating or sleeping well recently, and now this ..." Poppy waved her hand at where the scroll had been, and fixed the headmaster with a piercing gaze.

"I assure you, my dear Poppy, I am perfectly sane. Or at least, as sane as I have always been." Albus paused, and for a second, his eyes sparkled with some of their normal humour, as he said. "Which may not be saying much ..."

Watching Albus with the well trained eye of a healer, Poppy noticed how fast the twinkle vanished, as Albus continued. "Really my dear Poppy, please do not worry yourself about me, I am perfectly well. Now may I offer you a lemon drop ?"

Poppy knew she would have to tread carefully with Dumbledore, he had the same intense dislike of healers 'fussing' over him, that Minerva had. So she said casually. "It's not everyday that I see the headmaster of Hogwarts being hit by a scroll, care to explain ?"

"Doubtless you heard about what happened with Minerva and I, the other day ?" Albus asked quietly, his face sad and full of regret.

Poppy contented herself with a nod, she was unsure how best to answer his question, she certainly had heard about it. Poppy had encountered an enraged Minerva, in one of the passages near Albus's office. Minerva had told her everything, interspersed with various insults directed at Dumbledore, headmasters, and men in general. Poppy had thought that she had already heard all of Minerva's insults, and had been surprised how creative Minerva could be when angered. Minerva had also been extremely annoyed that she had failed to hit Dumbledore with even one plate, stating that in her view a good whack with a plate would do him good. Poppy definitely didn't want to hurt Albus by telling him any of this.

"I imagine she told you all about it." Albus said perceptively. Absently Albus brushed a piece of parchment off his sleeve, then continued. "After our last ...uhm...encounter, I thought it would be best to try another method ..."

"What he means is, he didn't want to dodge any more flying china or flowers." Phineus Nigellus interrupted sarcastically, from his portrait.

Before Albus could react, Poppy had turned and glared at Phineus with such ferocity, that he was instantly silent, and looked rather abashed.

"Go on Albus." Poppy said encourageingly.

"I felt that writing, and expressing my regrets, might smooth the troubled waters, shall we say." Albus ran a tired hand through his hair, and looked extremely mournfull. "It appears, that once again, I was wrong. Minerva returns every scroll I send, shredded and unread, apart from this last one."

Glancing around the study, Poppy noticed just how much shredded parchment there was everywhere. The top of the desk was almost completely obscured, the carpet round the desk was inch deep in torn parchment, some even hung from Fawkes's perch.

"Erm, Albus, just how many scrolls have you sent to Minerva ?" Poppy asked curiously.

"Oh I don't know, I've been sending them since just after breakfast, of course they take a time to write. Though I think I have got a little faster as the day has gone on." Albus replied vaguely.

Poppy gasped in surprise, it was now late afternoon, and Albus had been sending Minerva scrolls all day. Was he insane ? Nothing would infuriate Minerva more, than being inundated with scroll after scroll, particularly when teaching. How typically Dumbledore though, going totally over the top, as usual.

Albus suddenly looked rather crestfallen, as he asked with a slight tremble in his voice, "You don't think that I ...I sent too many didn't I?"

Poppy sighed, considering Albus was the wisest wizard of the age, he really could be incredibly naive. She really ought to tell him the truth, to explain, that Minerva was certain to be getting more and more annoyed with every scroll. Seeing him sitting forlornly behind his desk, looking almost like a child that is guilty of some wrong doing, Poppy couldn't bring herself to add to his obvious misery. She was very fond of Albus indeed, so wishing to cheer him up, if only briefly, she answered kindly. "Perhaps this latest scroll is a sign that Minerva is becoming less angry with you Albus, after all, it isn't shredded is it."

"Oh, do you really think so ?" Albus asked, looking rather like a child that had been given a large bag of candy unexpectedly. Without waiting for an answer, Albus continued, "Perhaps she even read it, I know Minerva's sense of humour. She might be ready to forgive me, I must send more scrolls at once, clearly they are working."

Poppy closed her eyes, and groaned inwardly, if Minerva ever found out about this, her life wouldn't be worth living. She had to do something, or Albus would just make things even worse.

"Albus ...Albus ...I really don't think it is a good idea to keep sending Minerva more scrolls." She said gently, seeing hope fade from his eyes, she added rapidly. "Why don't you just send one more, and then give her time to think, you can always try again later."

Albus brightened a little, as he answered. "Perhaps you are right, my dear Poppy. You are most kind to take time to help and advise me. When I'm sure you must be very busy indeed ..."

"Oh no, Albus, you're not getting rid of me that easily. Not untill you promise to start eating properly and getting more rest." Poppy said firmly.

"Really Poppy, I assure you that I am quite able to take care of myself." Albus sounded mildly exasperrated.

Poppy was determined not to give up though, glaring sternly at him, she said. "Albus really ! Must I lecture you on the dangers of not caring for yourself properly ? What kind of example do you think you are setting for the children ..."

"Here here, jolly well said, I quite agree." Armando dippet said, "Really, my dear boy, you know she is right. We all do, and I for one, do not like to see you do this to yourself."

Many of the other paintings that hung on the walls either nodded in agreement, or said things like, "Yes absolutely", "Well said" and "Quite right too."

"It appears, that I am outgunned." Albus said softly, "You are of course, right, Poppy, I cannot perform my duties as headmaster if I neglect myself. Thank you for reminding me of this."

"You will get more rest, and eat properly ?" Poppy asked,

"Yes, absolutely, at least I shall endeavour to do my best to do so." Albus answered. "Now, if there is nothing else, I have a scroll to write."

"Nothing else at the moment, Albus, but I will be keeping an eye on you." was Poppy's response.

"Yes, yes of course," Albus said absently, already thinking about what to write in his next scroll to Minerva.

For a while the only sounds that could be heard were the whirring of Albus's contraptions, and the scritch scratch of his quill. Finally Albus appeared satisfied with his words, and, with a mixture of hope and apprehension on his face, sent the scroll to Minerva. Almost instantaneously the scroll reappeared, rapped Albus sharply on the tip of his nose, landed on his desk, and, with a loud bang burst into a ball of flames. Suddenly Peeves appeared out of nowhere, and flew round and round the room, screeching Fire !! Fire!! as loudly as he could, before flinging a large bucket of water over Dumbledore's desk. Many of the inhabitants of the paintings, who had been peacefully slumbering, were now awake. Some were screeching nearly as loudly as Peeves, others were demanding to know, what in merlin's name was going on. Amid the chaos, Albus sat staring at his sodden slightly scorched desk, with a despairing expression in his eyes, he really had hoped that Minerva would read this scroll. Albus seemed oblivious to the havoc and noise, normally he would have instantly taken control of the situation and calmed everyone down. Today he sat deep in thought, with sagging shoulders and bowed head.

Gradually the portraits on the walls realised that they were not in any danger, that there was no fire, and grumbling returned to their slumbers. All except Amando Dippet, Dumbledore's old headmaster, and friend, who gazed sadly at Albus. Amando knew how much Albus adored Minerva, had listened many times to Albus, as he spoke in almost poetic terms about Minerva, her glowing hair, her emerald eyes, her beauty. Armando had suspected long before that there was something between Albus and Minerva, had watched with pleasure as a spark of passion ignited between the two friends. Like many at Hogwarts, Armando felt Albus and Minerva were made for each other, consequently he had been delighted when the two of them finally became a couple. Armando recalled how many of the staff, had bet on when exactly Albus and Minerva would overcome their shyness, and admit their feelings to each other.

"Go and win her back, dear boy." Amando said gently but firmly, "Don't give up, untill she has forgiven you. Scrolls and flowers are no substitute for talking."

Slowly Albus raised his head, and looked at his old mentor, for a couple of minutes he seemed to be considering Armando's words. "You are quite right of course, I have been most foolish." Albus's voice was determined, and there was a spark of optimisism in his eyes. "I shall indeed go and win her back, thank you Armando."

"Excellent, most excellent." Armando smiled down at Albus, from his place above the desk, "She loves you, you know, always has, you remember that."

"Thank you Armando." Albus answered softly, already half way to the door.

Albus was deep in thought as he made his way to Minerva's rooms, his mind full of the words he wanted to say to Minerva, hoping desperately that it would be enough. _'What if I can't win her back ?' _A tiny voice whispered, in the back of his mind. The thought of life without Minerva by his side, haunted and terrified him, normally so strong, Albus felt weak and vunerable. Minerva was his rock, no one except Albus himself, knew how much strength and courage she gave him, how much he relied on her.

As Albus stood outside the door of Minerva's rooms, he knew she was in there, he always knew. Albus liked to think that the knowing came from the close bond between them.

Albus had it all planned out, he knew just what he wanted to say, but unusually for him, he was nervous. His heart beat slightly too fast, his palms were damp, and his breath caught in his throat. _'She has to forgive me.' _He thought, _'This can't be the end of us, I won't let it end like this.' _Albus had thought so much about how he would explain. He had also made a decision, one decision, which was frightning in it's possible consequences. In his view, though, it was absolutely neccessary and justified. Albus Dumbledore had decided not to tell Minerva anything about the prophecy. He was well aware that should she discover his secret, that she would be extremely angry, deeply hurt, may even see it as betrayal. He could only hope that she would never find out.

Albus sighed heavily, he hated the thought of keeping anything from Minerva. In all their years together he had never kept anything from her, she was his closest confidant, they trusted each other implicitly, and this trust kept their bond strong. If Minerva knew about the prophecy, not only would she worry but the knowledge would endanger her. Voldemort was a skilled legimens, as were other death eaters, and when Voldemort returned, he would be eager to know the exact words of the prophecy. Albus feared that, if Voldemort sensed that Minerva had the knowledge he sought, then she would be in danger of being captured and tortured. Her role in the order of the phoenix was quite dangerous enough already, without increasing the risk, and for Albus to think, of his beloved Minerva, being abused and tormented by Voldemort was intolerable. _'I cannot tell her, no matter what, even if I must loose her. I must keep it secret. I will keep her safe. I will not give Voldemort a reason to torture her.' _Albus told himself, guiltily, _'It would only worry her anyway, what would it serve to tell her ?'_

_**Author's Notes**_

**_Once again, thanks to all you wonderful people who review. Reviews help to inspire me, and make me smile happily, so please review. :)_**

_**I hope I spelled Fawkes right, I thought it had a double f, but when I checked online it only had one. I tried to make this chapter fairly light weight and humourous, I hope I suceeded. **_

**_Preview of Things to Come_**

**_Next chapter, will Minerva forgive Albus ? Will she even let him in ? The next chapter might be nearer to 2 weeks coming btw, I have the end and beginning done, but not the middle. I've been dreading doing the middle for ages, it's going to be a struggle, and it has to be right, since I think it's quite important to the story. I need to plan it carefully, something I don't normally do. _**

**_Later chapters, some fun humourous stuff involving Minerva. Also some very angsty moments for Minerva. To say more might spoil things. _**


	9. Explanations

Chapter 9

That evening Minerva sat in her study marking school work, relieved that the constant procession of scrolls from Albus had finally ended. She was slowly beginning to regain her temper, which had been close to breaking several times that day, as scroll after scroll landed on her desk in the middle of lessons. An unwelcome and embarassing distraction, that had caused a wave of sniggers, instantly silenced, as Minerva swept the class with a fiery glare that threatened dire consequences. Her students had passed the rest of the class almost afraid to breathe.

Something about work always calmed Minerva, soothing her with it's order and focus. Now she used it as a tool to shut out the thoughts and memories that constantly haunted her. As Minerva continued to work she heard a familliar knock at her door. She froze, she did not wish to speak to Albus right now. If she didn't answer he'd think she wasn't there, and go away again. _'He'll know you're here, you know he will - he always knows.'_ Minerva pushed the thought away - exasperated. Another knock, this time more insistent.

_'Oh Merlin' _thought Minerva, _'Why can't he just leave me alone ?' _ She held her breath, tried not to make a single sound. Albus couldn't possibly know she was there, he'd give up soon if she just kept still and silent.

Knock! Knock! "Minerva, I know you are in there"

Knock! Knock! "I see the light under your door, you never leave your study without turning the light off"

Knock! Knock! "Minerva I wish to speak with you, please open the door"

Knock! Knock! "You are always in your study at this time, Minerva please open the door"

_'Damm it' _ Thought Minerva, _'Am I really so predictable ? No! Damm him! I've made it clear I want nothing to do with him, why can't he just leave me alone, damm him ?' I'm strong, I don't need him.' _She told herself, but deep down inside she knew she did need him, and that was what scared her. More than anything though, it was the thought of breaking apart in front of him, or anyone, of seeming weak that scared her. Minerva just wanted to be left alone to cope with things her way.

The constant knocking was starting to get on her nerves now, it seemed to get louder every second. This really was quite intolerable, the man couldn't take a hint. How dare he come and pound at her door like this. Minerva wrenched the door open, and glared at Albus, as though he were a Gryffindor who had lost the house a quidditch match.

"Professor Dumbledore, there is no need to demolish my door ! I did not hear you knocking at first, but even so, there is no need to pound on my door in such a way." Minerva snapped angrily.

"I apologise Minerva." Albus's voice was placating, calming. "Though I think that the doors of Hogwarts, are suffiently well built that they can withstand my knocking, without lasting damage." Albus twinkled at Minerva merrily, and hoped his attempt at humour might calm Minerva's obvious anger.

"If you wish to discuss the Hogwarts doors, then doubtless you can find someone who would find it fascinating, I however, do not have time for such frivolitites." Minerva made to turn, and enter her study again.

"Minerva I wish to speak to you about much more important matters, things cannot continue as they are. I must speak with you, please Minerva, all I ask is that you hear me out." Albus said gently.

Minerva hesitated, she was tempted to hear what he wished to say. She knew it would be about his decision to leave Harry with the Dursleys. There had only been time for the briefest of explanations, when Albus informed her of his plan. She'd been so stunned by the news of James and Lilys deaths, that she hadn't really listened. She wanted to hear his reasons but, could she bear to hear them ? No ! She couldn't risk it - she didn't want to loose controll, to be comforted, as he would try to do. She wanted to go on feeling bad, it was better than the weakness of breaking down. Minerva despised weakness, particularly in herself. She was determined to deal with things in her own way, even if that meant avoiding Albus.

Minerva drew herself up, tried to look cold and haughty, even though she was falling apart deep inside. She forced coldness and distance into her voice. "Professor Dumbledore" She used the name like a shield to push him away from her, "If you wish to speak to me about school matters then I am, of course, willing to speak with you, as my position requires me to do. Those are the only subjects I am willing to discuss with you. Unless this is a school matter you wish to discuss, then I shall ask you to respect my wish for privacy and leave."

Minerva shut her door firmly. She was just thinking how unexpectedly well that had gone, when she was surprised, and annoyed, to see the door open again. A very determined looking Albus Dumbledore stepped into the room.

"How dare you ?!" Minerva's eyes blazed with a fury, that would have made most men flee instantly, but Albus did not seem to notice her anger.

"I dare because I must. Minerva this has gone on long enough ..." Albus's voice was calm but firm.

"Albus Dumbledore, you will leave my rooms right now. I do not wish to speak to you, or hear anything you have to say. Leave Now !" For a moment, Minerva looked as though she would attempt to throw Albus out.

"Minerva McGonagall, You WILL listen to me, if I have to lock every door in this room and block every escape route. You WILL hear what I have to say." Dumbledore's tone was commanding, his eyes flashed, and for a brief instant he seemed to radiate power.

Silence hung heavy in the air, which seemed to crackle and spark with intensity. Even Professor McGonagall couldn't disobey, when Dumbledore spoke in this way.

"Minerva all I ask is that you hear me out - then if you still wish it, I will leave you in peace." Albus's voice was gentle now, soft and comforting, like calming waves washing over her. Normally Minerva loved his voice when it was like this, found it soothing - but right now she hated it, because it weakened her resolve to push him away, to be alone.

"There is no need to threaten me, Professor Dumbledore. I am quite prepared to listen to you, since you are so insistent." Minerva said stiffly. "However once you have said what you wish to say, I shall expect you to leave my rooms at once."

Minerva sat down in a soft armchair by the fire, as she started to sink into the cushions she thought, _'Damm' _ _'Why did I choose this chair ?' _ Somehow despite the softness of the chair, she managed to retain a rigidly stiff backed pose.

"I am ready, you may begin." Minerva fixed Albus with a brief cold stare, she did not wish to continue eye contact for too long, in case he read too much of her feelings.

"Minerva I did not intend to threaten you, simply take it as a measure of my desperation. I am deeply concerned about you, closing yourself off and not talking is not healthy." Albus kept his voice calm and soft. "What I wish to say may take some time, would you object if I were to sit down also ?"

Minerva gave a curt nod in the direction of the chair by the desk.

"You are most kind." With a flick of his wand, Albus produced a second soft armchair on the other side of the fire, and sat in it with his fingers intwined, eyes twinkling at her, over half moon spectacles.

_'Damm him.' _Thought Minerva, _'He's determined to make this as hard as possible for me. How can I go on shutting him out when he's so close to me? Damm those twinkling eyes too - he knows I can't resist them. I bet he's twinkling on purpose.' _ Minerva gave herself an imaginery kick in the shins, firmly she told herself _'Don't let him charm you Minerva Mcgonagall. You hear what he has to say and then you throw him out. You're just as strong and determined as he is.' _

"I do apologise Professor Dumbledore, that my furniture does not meet your exacting standards - perhaps you would like to replace the rest of my chairs with something more to your taste." Minerva's voice was icy and dripped sarcasm.

Minerva was pleased to notice how Albus flinched slightly at her words, she wasn't sure why, but she wanted to make him suffer.

"Minerva, I do apologise if I have offended you, I simply felt that it would be better if I sat closer to you. A conversation where it is neccessary to shout across the room, would not be easy to continue." Inwardly Albus was wondering if he'd made a mistake with the armchair, he didn't want to do anything to increase her anger. Outwardly he remained calm and relaxed, as he so often did. When Minerva didn't answer, Albus sighed and spoke again. "With your permission Minerva, if I may begin ?"

The same curt nod granted him permission.

Albus had thought so much about what he would say to Minerva - he had it all planned out carefully, he was surprised now to find himself at a loss for words. It was unusual for Albus to struggle to gather his thoughts, to fight to find the best possible words, and he found it most uncomfortable and disconcerting. He was un-nerved, scared that nothing he said would get through to Minerva. Even when she was angry and cold, as she was today, he adored her, was entranced by her beauty. All he wished to do was hold her, and try to ease her pain, but he knew the time wasn't right. Would it ever be right again ? Would he ever feel her warmth in his arms again ?

"Well ? I am waiting, I do not have all day to sit here while you day dream." Minerva's words interrupted Albus's thoughts - he must be calm, it was the best way, and he was good at being calm, even when seething with emotion inside.

"Minerva, I wish to explain my decision to send Harry to his family. When I first told you of my plan, there wasn't much time for explanations, I'm deeply sorry for this, and for the pain I have caused you with my choice. " Albus sighed sadly, his face etched with sorrow and regret. "It was never my intent to wound you so, I hope that once you hear my reasons in full, you can forgive me, and understand why I made this decision." As he spoke these final words, Albus made immense efforts to keep his voice from trembling, to retain his facade of calmness.

Glancing at Minerva with perceptive eyes, Albus noticed how the tension in her posture had increased at his words, how she held herself so rigid, that it looked as though she must break under the strain. It tore at Albus's heart and soul to see his beloved Minerva so, and the burden of guilt he already bore, grew even heavier.

Unyielding silence met his words. Albus had hoped for a response, but was not surprised when he recieved none. He knew Minerva so well, knew her way of dealing with grief and sorrow.

"Voldemort is not gone forever, Minerva. He will return one day, I am certain of this, absolutely certain." As Albus spoke his face was grave, his eyes dark and grim.

Minerva couldn't help but gasp in horror at his words. Though Albus had told her this, when he first told her of his plans, she had been so shocked by James and Lilys deaths, that she had not fully grasped what he was saying.

"I do not know when Voldemort will return, all I know is, that he will, and when he does he will have all his old powers. It could be one or two years, it could be a few months, it could be ten or twenty years. When he does return, Harry will be in immense danger, Voldemort will certainly wish to kill Harry." Albus hesitated here, he wished so much to tell Minerva of the true reason why Voldemort would want Harry dead, to tell her about the prophecy. It felt terrible to him to keep anything from her, but he was determined to not expose Minerva to needless risk, and so, he surpressed his wish. "We both know of Voldemort's vengeful nature, he will be seething with rage and humiliation at having been defeated by a small child, he will seek vengance. Killing Harry will restore his pride, I believe that immediately Voldemort regains his powers, he will seek to defeat Harry." As he finished speaking, Albus tried to comfort himself with the thought that this wasn't really a lie. It was certainly true that Voldemort would desire vengance, but he still felt sickened at having not told Minerva the full truth.

If Minerva had been looking at Albus, and not staring intently at a painting on the far wall, she might have noticed how shame shone briefly in his eyes, as he finished speaking. How a shadow of guilt crossed his face.

Minerva's face paled at his words, at any other time she would have questioned him, demanded to know more, but she felt the only way she could retain her self control was to remain silent. She was determined not to speak, feeling that if she did, she would be swept away on a tidal wave of emotions.

For a few minutes both of them sat in silence, Albus with his head slightly bowed, Minerva taut and white.

"Minerva, my only wish is to keep Harry alive and safe, there is only one gauranteed way to do that." Albus broke the silence, he spoke softly, his voice like the breeze that sighs among tall trees. "So long as Harry lives with his family, with people related to him by blood, he is protected by powerful magic. No one can harm him, there is no protection more powerful." Albus hesitated before he spoke again, choosing his words with care, knowing the pain they may cause Minerva. "You know, my dear, that I went to Godrics Hollow immediately I heard of the attack, while there I was able to see how Lily died. She gave her own life to save Harry, to let him live, she refused to step aside. Lily's sacrifice invoked ancient magic, it gave me a way to ensure that Voldemort can not harm Harry when he returns. However, for the protection to be effective, Harry must live with people who are related to him by blood, the Dursleys are his last remaining blood relatives, and his only gaurantee of safety."

As Minerva heard Albus's words, was reminded of the loss of a girl she'd loved like a daughter, her body shook, and it seemed as though her rigid self controll must finally break. Instintively Albus reached out to her, then drew back, knowing that she did not wish his comforting touch now. Albus's eyes sparkled with tears, he longed to draw her into his arms and try to ease her pain.

"Minerva, my darling, please ..." Albus's words were a plea, begging her to let him in, to allow him to soothe her wounds, and wash away her sorrows with his tender love.

It cost Minerva her last ounce of strength, but somehow she managed to regain her stiff pose and, not daring to speak, nodded a curt command to continue with his explanations.

Albus took a few moments to calm himself, then spoke in a voice that was full of sorrow. "Even though Voldemort is gone for the time, Harry is still in danger. There are many deatheaters still at large, and everyone of them would love the fame of having killed the boy who lived. Voldemorts followers are like their master in their lust for vengance, if they knew of Harry's whereabouts they would certainly attempt to kill him. If Harry remained with us, then everyone would know where he was, and this would increase the danger, would make him even more vunerable. Only a few trusted people know that Harry is with his family, secrecy keeps him safe, adding an extra layer of protection, which he would not have if he lived in the magical world."

Albus paused, and glanced at Minerva over his half moon spectacles, seeking for some sign of understanding, then sighed sadly.

"I wish there was some other way, Minerva, I truly do, but there is not." Albus continued gently. "I cannot know when Voldemort will return, or in what form, it may be that he could return and harm Harry, before I am even aware of his return. My Choice is the only possible choice, the only way to be sure that Harry is kept safe. I will not ...cannot change my decision, Minerva. Harry must stay with his relatives, he is safest there. My decision is final." Albus paused as he saw Minerva's face harden. He sensed she was about to turn away from him - maybe forever.

Reaching out, he grasped her hand, and in the same movement dropped to his knees in front of her, gazing up into her eyes.

"I need you Minerva, my darling." Albus's voice was gentle but intense. "Now more than ever, I need you, and I think you need me too, even if you don't wish to admit it. We've both lost so much. Must we loose each other too ? We should support each other through this, not let Voldemort and his evil rip us apart. Minerva, will we give the dark side such power over us ?" His grip on her hand tightened as he asked this question, and he searched her eyes for some flicker of warmth or forgiveness. Disappointed he saw none, his only comfort was that her hand still rested in his.

Desperation increasing, Albus continued, "I only wish you to be happy my darling, to be warmed by your smile as I used to be. I would do anything for you, give anything for you - except this, Harry's life must not be risked. I will not permit him to be endangered. Even if it means that you never forgive me I cannot change my decision. Harry must be kept safe untill he is old enough to attend Hogwarts. Minerva, my dear, I'm so very very sorry for the pain this causes you. All I can do is beg you to let me support, and help you through this, and to not hate me, my darling." On the final few words Albus's voice shook with emotion and his eyes shone with unshed tears.

As Minerva heard the pain in Albus's voice, saw the suffering on his face, the tears in the normally sparkling eyes, she couldn't resist him any longer. Tenderly she reached out to him, holding him in her arms.

"I could never hate you Albus" She whispered, "It's just hard, so damm hard. Oh Merlin, Albus I want him with us so much."

Albus thought his heart would break as he heard her words, her agony. He pulled her into his warm embrace desperate to comfort her. Tears rolled down both their cheeks, and mingled together, as their faces rested against each other. In this soft embrace they grieved together - mourned James and Lily, and shared their sorrow over loosing Harry, for what seemed like eternity to them. Both hearts made the same silent vow - they would support each other through this. No matter what happened they would be there for each other always.

_**tbc**_

_**Author's Notes**_

**_Thanks to everyone who reviews, reviews are what encourage authors to keep going, so please review._**

_**This isn't the end of the story, there's lots more to come, maybe another ten or more chapters. Much of it will deal with Albus, and Minerva, with both still struggling to deal with their grief and stresses. They will find it hard to keep their vow, thats all the hints I will give. ;)  
**_

_**I hope it fits that Minerva stays silent while Albus is explaining his reasons ? She is going to have plenty to say on the subject of Harry later.**_

_**Later chapters try to add a little more excitement, or what happened next type stuff. There's some nice humourous scenes to come, I had great fun with one involving Minerva. There's some sweet romantic bits, which show the love between Albus and Minerva too. **_

_**I've been inspired recently by the idea of another Minerva and Albus multi chapter story, detailing how they first get together. This is thanks to an idea by Mania4ka, so thanks to Mania4ka for that idea which has had me scribbling notes and jotting down ideas. :) The story might start when Minerva first goes to Hogwarts, and might have quite a bit about her life before Hogwarts. I think there are many stories like this, so I hope there will be room for one more. I probably wont put it up here for at least 2 or 3 months, thats how long it took to plan Dumbledore's eyes. Does it sound a good idea ? Repeats to self, do not start another multi chapter story till Dumbledore's Eyes is finished, otherwise brain may implode. lol.  
**_


	10. Worries

Chapter 10

That night Albus had come to Minerva's rooms, as he always used to, had gathered her in his arms. They had clung together, held each other as though they would never let go. He'd kissed her with a passion made fiercer by how close he'd come to loosing her.

Now Minerva lay in Albus's arms, as he slept exhausted by her side. His presence was warm and soothing, she could hear the rythmic beat of his heart, as she rested her head on his chest. Their breathing rose and fell harmoniously. She was cradled in a haven of security and love, felt more at home here than anywhere else. Yet Minerva was not entirely happy.

At first it had been bliss to be held by Albus again, to be touched by him, to feel his passionate kisses on her skin. Minerva's worries had drowned in the joy of his embrace. Now though, as Albus slept, her thoughts and concerns turned once more to Harry. She couldn't help but worry about him, he was like a grandson to her.

Minerva had always trusted Albus, always respected his decisions. This time however she found it hard, couldn't banish her fears from her mind. If Minerva was honest with herself, she still wasn't happy with Albus's decision to leave Harry with the Dursleys. Minerva understood the reasons why Albus thought it neccessary, it was logical, rational, seemed to make sense. She knew also that Albus always wanted to keep everyone safe, sometimes at the expense of other concerns. He had seen so many people killed by both Grindewald and Voldemort, it was understandable that he wanted to do his best to protect everyone. Despite his kindness and compassion, his wisdom, Albus sometimes made choices that were purely intellectual, too much based in thought. '_What about love ... and loss ?' _Minerva asked herself, _'What about Harry's needs ? What about my needs ?' _All her motherly instincts, always fiercely aroused by Harry, cried out that Albus was wrong, and try as she might, she could not surpress them.

So Minerva lay sleepless and tormented in her lovers arms, unable to be as blissfully, joyously, relaxed as normal in his embrace. Next to her, Albus stirred fitfully and moaned, as though suffering a bad dream. Glancing at him in concern, Minerva noticed the dark circles under his eyes, the gauntness of his face. To see him so, filled her with sorrow. Minerva reached out gently and stroked his hair, as it shone like gossamer in the moonlight, she loved the feel of him so much. Tenderly she carressed the worry lines that marked his face, as if her touch could make them vanish. As her hand stroked his cheeks, adoration flowed from her into him, seeming to sooth him somehow, making his face appear younger and more at peace.

Albus loved Harry too, he adored him, saw him as a grandson, Minerva knew this must be hard on Albus as well. Even if he did seem to be dealing with it better than she was, that was just his way. Surely he would not send Harry anywhere he thought he might be ill treated, Albus seemed to think that Petunia could be trusted, could he be right ? What if he wasn't right though, how could they be sure if Harry was being well cared for ? Albus sometimes trusted people too easily, in Minerva's view trust had to be earned, but Albus gave trust freely, even to those who didn't seem to deserve it. It was one of his strengths, one of the reasons he was so well loved by so many, but it was also a weakness. Minerva's every instinct screamed that he was wrong to trust Petunia.

Minerva reminded herself that Albus had suffered just as much as she had, she felt a twinge of guilt for having avoided him these last days. He had been right, they should not let this come between them, from now on she would be by his side, as she always had been. They would get through this together somehow, Minerva's mouth set in a determined line. Unbidden, the thought entered her mind, '_Maybe I can at least persuade him to go check on Harry, or let me go, surely this wouldn't be unreasonable. They really ought to check that he was being cared for properly, there couldn't be much risk in that, surely Albus would agree with her.' _If by any chance, Harry wasn't being looked after properly, then there would be every reason to remove him from the Dursleys care, and bring him home, where he belonged, with her and Albus. Minerva almost hoped that Harry wasn't being well cared for, she was so desperate to have him with her.

Soothed by this thought, Minerva finally fell asleep. Only to be woken a couple of hours later, by Albus's beard tickling her nose, as he bent to kiss her good morning. "Gerroff." Minerva grumbled, still half asleep. "Damm mosquitos." She swatted the air with her hand, woke up fully, when she heard Albus say Ouch, and saw him holding his crooked nose ruefully.

"It's your own fault, you shouldn't kiss me when I'm asleep." She joked, then kissed him softly.

"I've never been called a mosquito before." Albus smiled down at her, with twinkling eyes, that reminded her of stars at dawn. "Did you sleep well my darling ?"

Minerva was silent, unsure how to answer. If she confessed to not sleeping well, then Albus would be sure to question her, to ask why. She didn't want to worry him, or spoil the joy of their first night together after their reconciliation.

Minerva's silence worried Albus, he gazed at her in concern, noticing how rapidly, the joy that had shone in her eyes had faded. "Minerva ? What's wrong? Is it Harry ?" He asked gently.

"Albus, the time, we've overslept. We'll talk about this later." Minerva didn't want to talk about things now. She wanted time to gather her thoughts, to form words to convince Albus to do as she wished. She would be due in class soon, now wasn't the right time to discuss things.

"You are more important than time, Minerva, my darling. I'm sure things will run perfectly well without us." Albus said tenderly, his voice a warm caress.

"Nonsence Albus, you are headmaster, you can't not go to breakfast." She said briskly, and shooed him, still protesting from her rooms, with promises to see him later.

Once Albus had left her rooms, Minerva lifted up the pillow where his head had rested, and, as she expected, found a bag of lemon drops there. She sighed in mild exasperation, the man was obsessed with lemon drops, took the damm things everywhere with him. She'd always checked under the pillow for lemondrops, ever since the time she'd discovered a sticky, week old, bag of fluff covered lemon drops hidden there. Minerva smiled fondly, as she remembered how she'd marched up to Albus's rooms, waved her sticky pillow under his nose, and demanded to know what he was going to do about it. When she had returned to her rooms later, Minerva had found that her normal white linen bedding, had been replaced with emerald green sheets, and pillow cases, patterned all over with tiny embroidered lemon drops. When Albus came to join her that night, he'd had to duck a flying pillow aimed at his head. _'They'd been so happy then. Why did it have to change ?' _Minerva wondered sadly.

_**Author's Notes**_

_**Once again many thanks to everyone who reviews, and to everyone who reads this story. Reviews do inspire me, as well as making me smile merrily. ;) So, please review. **_

_**Whew, collapses in heap, I've been working on later chapters alot today and I'm very drained now, so I hope this chapter is error free. I'm sure I error checked it a couple of days ago, would have posted it then, but the site wasn't working. I had a panic when I thought I'd lost one of my notebooks with ideas for later chapters in, then I discovered I'd just got muddled up about which notes were where lol. **_

_**I think this chapter is shorter than normal, I really just had nothing else to say in it. I hope you like it. Next chapters will probably be longer again. It was originally going to be part of the previous chapter, but I thought it'd make that chapter too long.  
**_

_**Chapter 11 is more of a little side line to the main story, it's in because I love the humourous stuff in it, I hope you will too. **_

_**Chapter 12 is back to the main story with a vengance, I'm pleased with the way the chapter is going so far. **_

_**I've been working on chapter 17 today, struggling with how to fit everything together, I've reached the point where I can't decide, so I'll leave it alone for a day or too, and clear my mind. I've planned chapters 11 to 19 out, I think in total there will be 25 chapters. I have the next two chapters almost written, the ones after that are just rough notes, panics. I've decided to really work on getting the basis of chapters 11 to 19 written over the next week, then I can perfect them later. I'm hoping reality won't intrude and distract me lol. **_


	11. Sirius

Chapter 11

Later that day, Albus sat in his office, deep in thought, as he so often was recently. At first he'd been thinking of Harry, wondering how he was doing. Despite his determination to try to let Harry go, to shut off his caring, and calmly let Harry be where he was safest, Dumbledore couldn't help but have the child in his mind, and in his heart. From thoughts of Harry his mind had turned to Sirius, and the recent news of his capture and imprisonement in Azkaban.

It had been Dumbledore's evidence that had condemned Sirius Black to Azkaban. Even after Sirius's betrayal, Albus had still found it hard to speak the truth, knowing full well the consequences. Of course a crime such as Sirius's could not go unpunished, but Dumbledore loathed the demementors that were used to guard Azkaban. He felt that their cruelty was wrong, even criminals deserved some compassion. It wasn't right to torment prisoners with their presence, and it was heartbreaking to think of the young man, he remembered so well, coming to such a dark end.

Minerva's reaction to the news of Sirius's betrayal had been burning fury, intensified by her fondness for Sirius, and the fact that he'd been a Gryffindor. She couldn't imagine how any true Gryffindor could be guilty of such treachery. Albus had reacted with an ice cold anger, almost more frightning than the fire of Minerva's rage. It had since been replaced with sorrow and disappointment, as he questioned himself, asking if he could have done more, to prevent Sirius going so wrong.

So Albus sat at his desk, and remembered Sirius as a student - recalled the shaggy haired boy, who'd sat in his office so often, after one prank or another, brushing the hair from his eyes with a casual hand, his face full of adventure and mischief. Albus couldn't help but be charmed by him, Minerva too had been fond of Sirius, despite all the trouble he got into with James, and the other Marauders. Sirius had been wild haired, with even wilder eyes, untamed and full of heart. Albus hadn't seen anything bad in the boy, hadn't seen any real malice, or nastiness, in most of his escapades. Albus had thought it was the wildness of youth, and he had admired how Sirius always told the truth, looked him in the eye, and confessed to his wrongdoings. Should he have been stricter, he asked himself, punished the boy more harshly, tried to break his free spirirt ? Albus sighed, he never had been a strongly disciplinarian headmaster, one of the reasons why he was so well loved by most of his students.

He knew he could have been stricter, but it wasn't his way. Albus believed in giving young people space to grow, in making allowances. His disciplinarian side only showed on those rare occassions, when a student committed a serious act. Had he been wrong, he wondered sadly, could he have done more, seen the signs, prevented this somehow ?

It was Peter Pettigrew, out of the four boys, that Albus had worried about most, sensing something potentially unpleasant, in the rather shy boy, who never seemed to be quite a true part of the group. If Peter had betrayed James, it wouldn't have shocked Albus so much, but Sirius, the boy who seemed to have overcome his dark family history, how could it have happened ? What had caused him to turn away from everyone, and side with Voldemort? Even though Dumbledore had suspected the presence of a traitor, he had still been shocked to learn his identity.

Minerva stood outside Albus's rooms, gathering her thoughts, she had decided to talk to him about Harry. Most of the rest of the school were busy with classes, Minerva had no students to teach this period, and felt it was a good time to try to persuade Albus, to at least check if Harry was being well cared for.

As Minerva entered Albus's study, she saw him deep in thought, looking unusually grave. She knew instantly that something was wrong, and was by his side at once.

"Albus, what's wrong ?" She asked, half fearing that there might be bad news about Harry.

"It's nothing, my Dear." Albus answered, with a half smile that didn't reach his eyes. "I was just thinking about Sirius, thats all, wondering if I could have done more."

At his words, a stony silence fell, and Minerva's eyes flared with anger, as she too thought of Sirius. Minerva didn't think she'd ever be able to forgive Sirius for what he had done. Everything was his fault, loosing James and Lily, Harry being sent away, everything. During his school days Sirius had been almost like a son to her, she'd been so proud of his courage, his adventurous nature. Despite all the trouble he got into, she'd had a soft spot for him, had thought he would grow up to be a fine man, a credit to Gryffindor. Instead he had betrayed her, as he had betrayed the Potters. How could he ?

He and James had been like brothers. He'd been a boy you couldn't ignore, always in one scrape or another, he'd narrowly avoided expulsion a couple of times, but he'd had an honesty and courage about him, which made his act of betrayal all the more shocking. Neither her or Albus would ever have imagined that Sirius could do something like this, and yet, somehow he had been turned to the dark, corrupted, had betrayed his closest friend - it was unforgiveable.

"I'm sorry Minerva, I shouldn't have reminded you of this." Albus said softly, as he reached up to kiss her tenderly on the cheek.

"Nonsence, that's what I'm here for, to share your troubles." Minerva said brusquely, her mouth still compressed in a thine line of anger. "And don't you go blaming yourself Albus, It was the sorting hats fault, clearly Sirius Black was sorted into the wrong house."

"I have Never, in the entire history of Hogwarts, sorted anyone wrongly." The Sorting Hat said indignantly, glaring at Minerva balefully.

"Clearly Black should have been sorted into Slytherin, like all the rest of his family, he is quite clearly not a true Gryffindor. No Gryffindor would ever have done what he did, obviously he was sorted wrongly." Minerva stated emphatically, returning the sorting hats glare.

"I am only responsible for sorting them, NOT what YOU turn them into." The Sorting Hat answered, in it's most pompous tone. "I am never wrong, unlike certain Professors." It added, in tones of utmost self satisfaction and superiority.

Albus saw Minerva draw herself up to her full height, saw the flash in her eyes that hinted at a battle to come. He was just about to intervene, and try to calm things down, when there was a knock on the door. One of the prefects poked his head round the door and said "Sir, Professor Flitwick says would you come at once please, there's a problem with his classroom, he says it's really most urgent Sir."

Albus sighed as he left his office, he could only hope that Minerva and the Sorting Hat would solve their disagreement on their own. As the moving spiral staircase carried him down the tower, he could still hear Minerva and the Sorting Hat arguing, if anything their voices seemed to be getting louder. Fortunately Professor Flitwick's problem turned out to be something quite trivial, and Albus was soon able to make his way back to his office.

As Albus entered his office he was struck dumb at the sight that met his eyes. Minerva was chasing the Sorting Hat round the room, in one hand she held Godric Gryffindor's sword, which she was swinging round her head in wild circles. Albus could have sworn he heard her give a whoop, that resembled a scottish war cry, as she passed him. The Hat was wailing about how it was an ancient and venerable hat, and had never been treated so, interspersed with screeches of terror. Many of the inhabitants of the portraits were cheering them on. Phineus Nigellus could be heard saying "Personally my money, if I had any, would be on the Hat, though how one can bet on somethng without legs is beyond me." Armando Dippet, was lecturing Minerva on how unbecoming her behaviour was, and how she ought to respect tradition more, but no one was paying him any attention. For a couple of minutes, Albus gaped at the scene in disbelief, as the circles of Minerva and the Hat seemed to get faster and faster.

Finally Albus found his voice, "Stop this at once!" He thundered, in his sternest possible tone.

Instantly there was silence, only broken by the drawling voice of Phineus Nigellus. "Oh typical, trust you to turn up and spoil the fun, this is the best entertainment we've had in years, you know."

"Please explain ..." Albus demanded, his eyes twinkling merrily, as he fought to keep a straight face.

"She started it."

"The Hat started it." Minerva and the Sorting Hat both spoke at once, then glared at each other.

Albus had to remind himself that he wasn't dealing with a pair of fighting students, as his mouth twitched, as he surpressed a smile.

"Did not !" The Sorting Hat said indignantly.

"Oh yes you did." Snapped Minerva angrily.

Albus couldn't help it, he couldn't surpress his mirth any longer, and burst out laughing, the first time he'd laughed since James and Lily died. His eyes sparkled with all the old humour, and tears ran down his face as he laughed. Watching him, Minerva thought how wonderful it was to see him laugh once again, to see the old joy back in his face.

"I fail to see what is so amusing." The Sorting Hat sniffed, it's voice full of wounded dignity. "I'm far too old to be chased in such an undignified manner."

"I quite agree." Minerva said, with a mischevious glint in her eyes, and a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"Thank you, I'm glad someone is on my side." The Sorting Hat answered, then it hesitated slightly, as though considering her words." Just a minute, what exactly are you agreeing with ?"

Albus decided to intervene rapidly, before things got out of hand again. "Minerva, my darling, shall we go down to lunch ? I'm sure you must be hungry after your exertions." He said tenderly, and taking Minerva's arm lovingly, escorted her down to lunch.

"Well Really!" The Sorting Hat snorted, to no one in particular, and retired to it's normal place, where it turned it's back on the room, and sulked.

By that evening, it was all round the school, how professor McGonagall had chased the sorting hat round Dumbledore's office. There were many different rumours, each one crazier than the previous one. As Minerva was walking through the main entrance hall, she overheard one boy telling everyone, how the sorting hat had chased her round Dumbledore's office.

"Really Wilkes, as if I would let myself be chased by a mere hat !" Minerva snorted in disgust. "I was the one doing the chasing I'll have you know, if you must spread rumours at least spread the right ones. I would have caught it too, if Dum ..." Suddenly Minerva seemed to remember who she was talking to, and snapped, "Arn't you meant to be doing your homework ? Well get along then, before I dock you points."

Later that evening, as Albus and Minerva sat together, by the glowing fire, Albus kissed her tenderly and said. "You realise of course, that I've spent the last three hours soothing it's wounded dignity, at one point it threatened never to sort anyone again, unless I fired you."

"You wouldn't dare." Minerva joked.

"Of course my dear, you realise that your behaviour today was most unbecoming for my deputy headmistres ..." Albus teased her softly.

"You're a fine one to talk." Minerva responded, glaring at him half heartedly.

Albus chuckled lightly, as he drew her into his arms and held her close. Despite their laughter, and the warmth of each other, there was still sorrow, worries and grief in both of them, as they rested in each other's embrace. Both their thoughts strayed back to recent losses, to Harry, to James and Lily. Even in each others arm's, it seemed there was no escape from the grief, and stresses, that haunted them both. Neither one spoke of their feelings though, as they rested their heads against each other, and the silence between them grew deeper and deeper.

_**Author's Notes**_

_**Thanks to all you wonderful people who review, it's much appreciated. Reviews are like little rays of sunshine, and since it's been raining here, please review. ;)**_

_**I really enjoyed writing the scene where Minerva chases the sorting hat, it still makes me giggle now. So I hope it amuses you all too ? I have no idea what a scottish war cry sounds like, but it just seemed to fit. :D **_

_**This chapter was really fun to write, and made me laugh as I wrote it, so I hope you all enjoy the humour in it ? Hope the stuff about Sirius was interesting too, I guess I was a little self indulgent there, but did want to show the contrast between Albus and Minerva's natures and responses. **_

_**The Return of 'Things To Come'**_

_**Do you all still enjoy this ? Or would you prefer not to have this, in case it spoils the story ?**_

_**I'm afraid things are going to get alot sadder or angstier in the next chapters, though there will still be light moments, and humour. There will also be some lovely romantic moments, maybe a little fluffy at times. **_

_**Chapter 12**__** Albus and Minerva have their first real fight. Minerva makes a decision. **_

_**Next Chapter**__** (I'm very superstitious about a certain number lol) Minerva goes ahead with her choice. **_

_**Chapter 14**__** Consequences must be faced, Albus shows an unfamilliar side of his nature. **_

_**Chapter 15 **__** Albus is becoming more and more worried about Minerva, as she seems increasingly fragile to him. He fears he will loose her love. **_


	12. Their First Real Fight

Chapter 12

Minerva had spent much of the past few days trying to get Albus to go and check on Harry, or let her go. She had heard all of his reasons for not checking countless times - the risks, the need for secrecy. Despite Albus's patience, understanding and never ending calmness, Minerva was becoming increasingly frustrated, and irritated, by his refusal to do as she wished. She was even beginning to find his calmness annoying, how could he be so calm about this ? Didn't he care ? Minerva despised herself for thinking such things, of course he cared, she knew he cared, he adored Harry. Albus was always so calm about most things, it was one of his strengths, it had never worried her before. Why did it worry her now ?

The talks they had about Harry were not easy on either of them. Minerva found herself biting her tongue more and more often, as she strove to keep her anger under controll. Albus found it difficult to retain his normal calmness, when it distressed him so much to see Minerva so upset, and in such pain. He longed to make her happy and grant her wish, longed not just to check on Harry, but to bring him home to them. It was fear of loosing Harry forever, not just for ten years, that prevented him from giving in to what they both wanted.

In his most private moments, in those quiet times when he was most alone, Albus was still haunted by the shocking images of Lily and James lying broken, and dead before him. Even his wisdom couldn't completely protect him from the trauma of what he'd seen that day, all it did was give him a greater capacity to deal with it. In his worst nightmares, Albus was haunted by the image of Harry lying, as his parents had lain, twisted, broken, lifeless. Albus was adept at pushing those images out of his conscious mind, but they still lurked in the darkest corners of his subconscious, and without him being aware of it, affected his decisions regarding Harry. Increasing his determination to take no risks whatsoever with Harry's safety. Albus could not bring himself to talk of such things to Minerva, believing that it would only distress her more. He wanted to be strong for her.

That Friday, Albus and Minerva sat playing chess together. It was quite clear to Albus that Minerva's mind was not on the game, when it was her turn, she either moved without any of her usual thought, or stared off into the distance for long minutes.

"Minerva ? Would you prefer that we do not play chess tonight ?" Albus asked, his eyes sad, he hated to see her so miserable, so unlike her normal self.

"No ...no...it's just ..." Minerva hesitated, then it all came out in a rush. "I'm still so worried about Harry, I know you don't agree, but I just think we ought to go check on him. Make sure that he's being properly cared for, I'm quite sure Petunia isn't the right person to care for him."

Albus couldn't help but sigh softly before he answered, he'd hoped so much for a peacefull harmonious night with Minerva, now he sensed another disagreement coming. He was well aware that Minerva was becoming more, and more angry, each time they discussed Harry, and dreaded a fight.

"Minerva, my darling, I understand how worried you are about Harry, but I assure you he is perfectly safe with ..." Albus spoke gently.

"No, he isnt." Minerva interrupted, impatiently "I don't know why you can't see it, he isn't safe there with those people. Not at all."

Albus gazed at Minerva sadly, as he chose his answer with care. He could already sense the fury rising in her, saw the clenched fists, white and taut, the tension in her posture, the blazing emerald eyes that chilled his heart. Finally he answered softly, "I do not believe that Petunia will ill treat Harry, she adored Lily when they were both children ..."

"Yes, Yes, I know all that." Minerva snapped, her mouth set in a thin line of determination. "But what you utterly fail to understand, Albus, is that just because you do not believe that she will ill treat Harry, doesn't mean she wont ill treat him or neglect him. And what about that revolting husband of hers ? Do you also believe he won't ill treat Harry ?"

"Minerva, you do not know the Dursleys, how can you be so certain that they will not care for Harry properly ?" Albus asked quietly.

"And how can you be so certain that they will ?" Minerva answered furiously, glaring at Albus with burning rage in her eyes. "It's irresponsible to leave a child with people we barely know, and not even check they are caring for him properly, can't you see that ?" Minerva continued.

"It is neccessary. Can you not see this, Minerva ?" Albus sighed as he continued, "We have spoken about this so often lately, I had hoped you would understand my reasons by now. I only wish to keep him safe untill he can come to Hogwarts. Would you have me risk Harry's life by going to check on him ?"

"Would you risk his welfare by not checking on him ?" Minerva snapped, her frustration growing by the moment, why was he being so stubborn ? She could feel her temper reaching boiling point, the anger flaring like white heat within her.

"Minerva, we have to let Harry go, I know it's hard, but we have to let him be where he is safest, we have to let him go." Albus's voice was gentle, but held a hint of command, that only antagonised Minerva further.

"I don't agree." Minerva snapped, and then "I've respected every decision you ever made, but I don't respect this one, and I don't respect you anymore either."

Immediately the words were spoken, Minerva could see how she had wounded him, saw the pain written in the face that suddenly paled, the eyes that became dark and shadowed. She longed to take those words back, to claw them out of the void between them, where they hung like a harbinger of doom, and make them unspoken. In this moment she hated herself for the pain she had caused Albus, her own face whitened too, tightened with shock at what she'd said, at the thoughtless words that had tumbled in fury from her lips.

Within seconds, she was by Albus's side, trying to comfort him, to make it right, to apologise, to take it back somehow, desperate to undo the hurt. He didn't deserve this, he was the kindest and gentlest of men, had barely spoken a single harsh word to her in all their years together. There'd been disagreements before, but they'd been solved without wounding each other in this way, had faded when faced with laughter, kisses, and love.

"Albus, I...I... I'm so sorry ...I ..." Minerva stuttered, as she sought desperately for words, that could make this right somehow.

Albus looked up into Minerva's face, with those all seeing eyes of his, noted the white skin, the shock in her features. He knew she regretted what she'd said, his eyes were kind, tender, understanding, but behind there was the hurt still there. They both knew it.

"I understand Minerva, people can say things they don't mean when they are angry. " Albus said quietly, trying to keep his voice calm, and free of any tremour of pain or sorrow. "It's all right, my dear, I know you didn't mean it."

But the worry lingered, unspoken, between them that she had meant it, at least partially, and the wall that they thought they had demolished, began almost imperceptibly, to grow between them once again. Minerva saw how the pain remained in Albus's eyes, shadowed, hidden, but still there, and as he reached to kiss her gently, she sensed the sadness in his lips, as they brushed her mouth softly.

After the kiss, Albus rested his head against her chest, like a child seeking comfort, and she stroked his hair with a motherly hand, as unshed tears of guilt and self reproach welled up in her eyes. As the tears remained, they became for Harry too, and her head dropped softly to rest against his, as emerald and sapphire eyes gazed haunted in different directions, instead of gazing into each other's heart and soul, as they normally would have.

After the fight Minerva walked alone by the lake. They had parted by mutual unspoken consent, both feeling that they needed some time alone, to try and calm their fraught emotions. This, in itself was unusual, never before after a disagreement, had they wished to be alone, had left each other so sadly. Always there had been tender words, embraces, laughter, untill the memory of each minor fight was washed away by love and humour. Untill recently, love and mutual respect had lightened each argument, warmed any distance between them, so that anger soon turned to merriment and kisses. This time it was different, this time the wounds were deeper, and still remained, What was happening to them ?

They'd never been so far apart about anything before, never had such serious differences of opinion. Previously most of their disagreements, had been about such trivial matters as - 'Stop washing your sock collection in my bath tub, and using my bubble bath on them,' 'Have you hidden my lemon drops again,' or 'No, candy isn't bad for me, not even before breakfast.' The most serious thing they'd differed on, was how to discipline the students, Minerva felt that Albus was sometimes too lenient.

Minerva had come instinctively to the lake, because it was their special place. It was there that they'd shared their first kiss, it was full of romance and memories for her, and for Albus. Once the school day was over, they would often come to the lake, walk arm in arm along the shore, as the merfolk sang, and the sun sank slowly beneath the horizon. As darkness fell, they would sit together, gazing out across the ever changing waters, and Albus would draw her into his embrace, kiss her as he had kissed her that first time, tenderly, passionately.

Without thinking, Minerva released her hair from it's bun, let it fall free, as Albus loved to see it. The wind caught her hair and tossed it around, swirling across her face, the touch of the wind didn't calm her, as it normally would. Instead it seemed to carry an ominous chill, as of the bleakness of coming winter. No moon shone this night, the skies were dark and clouded, the merfolk silent, somehow it suited her own mood. The dark cloudfilled skies mirroring the feelings in her heart.

As Minerva walked by the water's edge, she replayed the fight in her mind, going over and over her words to Albus. Despite him saying, that he knew she didn't really mean it, she couldn't free herself of the worry that she had, with part of her, meant it. _'Had her words been the truth ? Did she really not respect him anymore ?' _She asked herself. _'Was this what happened when your hero became just a man, a fallible man, who could make mistakes, make choices you felt were wrong ?' _In her heart, Albus always had been her hero, ever since the first time she saw him as a young girl. Through all those years together, he'd remained in some way her hero, even with his eccentricities, his imperfections, the contrasts between them. This was the first time she'd ever truly doubted him.

Maybe she was being unfair, Albus had never demanded her support, she had always given it willingly, just as he had supported her when she needed it. Even now when she felt him to be so wrong, she knew he acted only for the best, his only wish to ensure Harry's safety. Even with the war over and Voldemort gone, the impact of his evil still affected their lifes, as so many others were also affected.

That was the problem with loosing your temper, Minerva thought, you threw words into the gulf, that was growing between you, and then found you couldn't take them back, no matter how much you might want to, and that you had wounded the one you adored. Now she had to live with the memory of the pain she'd seen in his face, live with the knowledge that she'd caused the hurt she'd seen in his eyes. At times like this Minerva hated her fiery temper, envied Albus's calmer nature. She wondered if she would ever forgive herself for those wounded sorrowful eyes, that had lost their normal sparkle, and dulled so at her words.

As Minerva stood by the lake, deep in thought, she saw the shadowy figures of visitors leaving Hogwarts, a family with a sleeping child, carried safely in his mother's arms. She could hear the joyful sound of their voices and laughter, saw the mother bend, and tenderly wrap the blanket tighter round the sleeping baby, kiss him softly on the forehead. _'That should be me.' _was all Minerva could think, _'That should be Harry in my arms.' _The pain tore at her heart, it's agony wrenching at her, untill she thought she would break apart with it.

Minerva stared hollow eyed across the lake, Harry should have parents too. Would Petunia hold him as a mother held a son ? Would she kiss him when he fell, and make it better ? Would she love him as Minerva would ?

Harry should have parents, every child deserved parents. Real parents who loved with their heart and soul, who took joy and pride in each childhood achievement, who tucked you in, and kissed you good night. Would Petunia or her ghastly husband do that for harry ? Minerva's motherly instinct told her they almost certainly would not. Why couldn't Albus see this ? Why was he so determined to trust Petunia ?

Minerva couldn't bear being without Harry, she felt anger at Albus flare in her again. He had no right to have made this decision, he hadn't even asked her. Minerva pushed the anger back down, she didn't want to be angry at him, she'd hurt him enough already. She knew he loved Harry too, if only he would just accept that the Dursleys were quite clearly not fit to care for Harry.

Maybe it was then that the idea grew in her, took shape, and became a decision to act.

_**Author's Notes**_

_**Thanks to all you wonderful people who review, if you read and enjoy then please review, since reviews make me do happy dances. ;)**_

_**I had intended to put this chapter up about three days ago, but it's been one of those chaotic weeks, and I haven't had time till now. Sorry about that. I think this chapter is quite angsty, the stuff at the end when Minerva thinks about how Harry should have parents too brought tears to my eyes when I wrote it, so I hope you all enjoy it ? I wanted to try and show that before all this, Minerva and Albus had a very tender idyllic relationship, so this fight seemed really bad to them, I hope I managed to do this. I also wanted to show that 'real parents' can be anyone that loves the children they care for, it's love that matters, imo. **_

_**My spelling brain seems to be asleep tonight, so apologies for any errors. **_

_**I have all chapters till chapter 18 roughly written now, except the next chapter which is planned but not done at all, argh, panics. Normally I write an almost final version of a chapter, then leave it alone for a while, and then go and see if I still like it. I hope next chapter will be ready in one to two weeks.**_

_**Things to Come**_

_**Next Chapter Albus wonders where Minerva is, and goes looking for her. Minerva's plan, will it work or not ?**_

_**Chapter 14 Minerva is deeply shaken by Albus's reaction**_

_**Chapter 15 Argh, so hard to give clues, without repeating myself, and argh, :D Uhm, Poppy tries to help. **_

_**Chapter 16 Albus is most amused to see Minerva blush. Minerva has questions she wants answers to.**_

_**Chapter 17 Albus has a choice to make**_

_**Chapter 18 Severus makes his first appearance, Severus wishes he could slink off to his dungeons and hide. ;)**_


	13. Minerva's Plan

Minerva's Plan

Warning This chapter contains one scene of child abuse/cruelty to children, which you may find disturbing. 

As Minerva walked by the lake, Albus stood at the window, staring with unseeing eyes at the night sky. He was full of sadness after the fight, he didn't want to admit it to himself, but Minerva's words had wounded him, and he couldn't quite free himself of the pain. Albus tried to tell himself that respect didn't matter, it was love that mattered, so long as she loved him as she always had, that was all that really mattered, but he found it hard to convince himself of this. A part of him feared that his decision, about Harry, might cost him her love as well. What if she started to hate him for sending Harry away ?

Although Albus had agreed that time apart would be good for them, he now missed Minerva desperately, and longed to have her with him. Needed to feel her soft smooth warmth in his arms, he felt incomplete without her there. Albus couldn't help but be horribly aware of the changes in their relationship, and they saddened and scared him, making him fear that her love for him might lessen and die. Albus rested his head against the cold stone surround of the window, as he recalled how after every other fight, they'd shared tender kisses and embraces, healed each others wounds, with soft words and smiles. As he gazed out into the night, he could see Minerva standing by the lake, her hair blowing in the wind. Albus reached out his arm, and stroked the glass that divided them, almost as though he could caress Minerva from this distance. The glass was ice cold under his hand, and he was tempted to run to Minerva, and embrace her. For a moment he could almost feel her next to him, his hand stroking her hair, their lips about to meet. Then the illusion faded, and he was alone and empty again. _'I must respect her wishes.' _He told himself sadly, _'I must give her the time and space she needs.' _Albus's head dropped sadly, his shoulders drooped, and he seemed very old and weary.

Suddenly there was a soft touch on his shoulder, Fawkes had sensed his friends pain, and come to give comfort. The phoenix nestled against Albus's silvery hair and trilled softly. Albus reached up, and stroked the bird's red and golden plumage, "Oh Fawkes, my friend, I'm only trying to keep Harry safe ... I miss him too ..." Albus whispered sadly, "I hope I won't loose her ...what if she ...stops loving me ..." A single tear rolled down Albus's face, as he turned, and buried his head in Fawkes soft feathers.

For a second there was silence, and then the phoenix began to sing, a song of love and comfort for his friend. Fawkes's song had an otherworldly quality, as the crystal notes filled the room, colours seemed to grow brighter and more intense. It was as though a sunbeam had been brought inside, and set free to dance around the office. The music of the phoenix's voice, was like the sound of clear spring water in the high mountains, it's purity and brightness soothed and lightened Albus, making him feel as if a great burden had been lifted from him.

The next day Albus woke unusually late, and was instantly aware of the empty space, where Minerva normally lay. He sighed softly, as he remembered the fight. Albus ate a lonely breakfast in his chambers, and then tried to busy himself with his books, as he waited hopefully for Minerva to come to him. They always spent their weekends together, whenever they could. The minutes seemed to drag by so slowly, and still Minerva did not come. _'Perhaps she still needs time alone.' _Albus told himself, as he fiddled absentmindedly with one of his contraptions. _'I must be patient.' _He thought, as he tried to juggle with five lemon drops at once, his previous best record was four. Nothing distracted him from missing Minerva, from worrying about her, and how she might be feeling. Finally as the minutes became an hour, and then two hours, Albus decided that he should go and find Minerva, see how she was, try to make things right between them.

That Saturday morning, Minerva woke early, she felt excited and nervous too, it was time to act, to put her plan into effect. As she dressed, and ate breakfast, she went over things in her mind, checking each and every detail of her plan. She might be about to go against Albus's wishes, but she still respected him enough to believe him, when he said that Harry was in danger from deatheaters, and she was determined to take no unnecessary risks. After Minerva had finished breakfast, she stayed sitting at the table, she was torn, unsure whether to go ahead with her plan or not. She hated going behind Albus's back, she had never kept anything from him before, part of her wanted to go to him, tell him what she intended to do, and ask him to support and help her. In the end it was her certainty that he would not support her, and would try to stop her from carrying out her plan, that made her decide to go ahead, and act alone. _'It's for Harry's sake.' _She told herself, '_Once I have proof that the Dursleys aren't fit to care for him, Albus will understand. I have to do this.' _Minerva's lips were set in a thin line of determination, as she walked across to the closet, and took out a dark green hooded cloak.

As she left her rooms, Minerva draped the cloak around her shoulders, she left the hood down for the time. Then swiftly and silently, moving with cat like grace, she made her way through the back passages of Hogwarts, keeping as much as possible, to areas where the chance of meeting others was slim. She had already decided, not to use the main entrance to leave the castle, the fewer people who saw her that morning the better. She could only hope, that Albus would not notice that she was missing, would not guess where she had gone. Once again she felt a stab of guilt, and sorrow, at decieving him in this way. _'It's the right thing to do.' _Minerva told herself, _'Someone has to make him see sense.' _

Minerva left the castle by a little known side door, the conifers grew close against the walls of the castle here. Minerva pulled the hood of the cloak over her head, and stepped into the cover of the trees. Her dark green cloak blended perfectly with the overhanging leaves of the fir trees, rendering her almost invisible to watching eyes. As Minerva moved among the trees, she searched for something that could be used as a portkey, she hadn't wanted to use an item of her's, fearing that it might be too easily traced. Finally she spied a discarded quidditch glove, it had obviously lain there for some time, and was stained and discoloured. Stooping, Minerva picked it up disdainfully, and hid it under her cloak, then continued on her way.

Minerva knew the route through the overhanging musty firs well, she'd come to know almost every inch of the Hogwarts grounds, during her years as a student, when she'd been as famous as the Marauders, for her pranks and escapades, many of which had involved leaving the school without permission. At last Minerva reached her destination, a grey stone wall, covered in moss and lichen rose before her, seemingly there was no way through, turning Minerva followed the wall for a time. Finally she stopped before a section of wall, that was covered in hanging ivy, her slender fingers probed the wall, and then pushed the vines aside to reveal a gap between the stones. Before stepping through the gap, Minerva scanned the area with her eyes, making sure there were no unwanted watchers to see her leave the grounds of Hogwarts.

As Minerva left the grounds, she felt that she almost betrayed Albus with her actions, determined to go ahead with her plan, for Harry's sake, she pushed the thought from her mind, now was no time for weakness or doubts. Once outside the walls, Minerva again scanned the surrounding area, with wary green eyes, then took cover behind some rocks. Hidden behind the rocks, she let the quidditch glove fall to the ground, drew her wand, and cast Portus on it. Next she assumed her animagus form, of a silver tabby with distinctive spectacle markings round it's eyes, lifting a paw Minerva touched the portkey, at once she was transported to her chosen location.

Minerva had set her portkey to take her to a secluded, little used, alleyway a few streets away from the Dursley's house, in Privet Drive. She had chosen to use a portkey, instead of apparating, as portkeys were less easy to trace. Immediately the tabby appeared in the alley, she shot under the nearest bush, and scanned the area, with far seeing feline eyes, fortunately no one was there, Minerva sighed in relief. Her plan had gone well so far, now all she had to do, was to make her way to Privet Drive, and then find a safe place to hide. Once hidden, she would be able to watch, and see if Harry was being well cared for. Then she would return to Hogwarts, and tell Albus, proove to him that Harry shouldn't be left there with those people. Minerva was certain that her suspicions about Petunia, and her revolting husband, would be prooved correct. No matter how long it took, she would wait and watch.

Before Minerva left the protection of the bush, she made sure that the glove she'd used as a portkey, was well hidden among fallen leaves and soil. She would need it to return to Hogwarts with, had cast portus in such a way that the portkey would activate again when touched. It was a risk, she knew Albus wouldn't approve, but it was one she had to take, there was no other alternative. Staying as well hidden as she could, moving in the soundless way that cats can, the silver tabby made it's way through the streets of Little Whinging to Privet Drive, then even more cautiously slunk towards the Dursley's.

Albus Dumbledore stood in his office, looking confused and somewhat concerned, he had spent at least half an hour searching the castle for Minerva. First he'd tried her private rooms, then he'd wondered if she was chatting with Poppy or Rolanda, but it seemed no one had seen her since last night. Even the portraits, the eyes and ears of the castle, had no idea where she was, finally Albus had decided that she must be waiting for him in his rooms.

He'd been disappointed, and a little worried, when he found she wasn't there either, it was most unlike her to vanish like this, without a word. Where could she be ? Albus ran his hand through his hair, his worry increasing with every second, suddenly one of the silver contraptions, that stood on one of the many tables in his office, whirred and then pinged. Instantly Albus's face paled, and he almost lept across the room to the contraption, staring at it intently, with eyes that held more than a hint of fear. This could mean only one thing, the wards around the Dursleys had been breached, by something or someone. Dread lept in Albus's heart, was Harry safe ? Was he in danger ? Who ? What ? Albus reached out with a hand that trembled slightly, and tapped the contraption lightly with his wand, a silver puff of smoke began to form itself into the semblance of a small animal, and Albus breathed a little easier. Then his brow furrowed in thought, the wards were set up to let non magical beings pass without problem, clearly whatever had caused his contraption to ping, was a magical creature of some type. As Albus peered at the smoke, it began to take the shape of a cat. Albus gasped in horror and shock, surely not, surely Minerva could not have, would not have, gone to see Harry without his permission. He must go at once and check, swiftly he drew his wand, and transformed his robes into muggle clothes, as a deepening frown grew on his face. As Albus cast Portus on an old lemon drop tin, his face was thunderous with supressed rage.

The silver tabby sat huddled against the wall, seemingly licking it's paws casually, when in actual fact it was watching and listening intently. Finally it decided that now was the time, and keeping low to the ground, snuck into the Dursley's garden. Once in the garden, safely camouflaged among the plants, it moved swiftly towards the house. Minerva peered into several rooms, saw that disgusting slob of a muggle, Vernon Dursley, lounging on a revolting floral couch, and discovered Petunia Dursley cleaning her already gleaming floors, finally she saw Harry. He was sitting all alone in the middle of the floor, toying rather mournfully with an old cardboard box. Minerva's motherly gaze noticed instantly, how his face was unwashed and flecked with dirt, his dark baby locks uncombed and messy. The tabby's eyes glinted with rage, to see a boy she loved as her own son, left alone in a room like this. The urge to go to him was strong in her, the window was half open, and it tempted her to enter, to be close to him again.

Minerva had only intended to risk entering the house, if she couldn't see well enough from outside, if it was necessary in order to discover how they were treating Harry. She definitely hadn't intended to let Harry see her, but now that she was here, she was drawn almost against her will, into the room. Minerva could resist the call of her heart no longer, in one flowing movement, the silver tabby lept softly through the open window, and landed soundlessly on the floor of the room. As soon as Harry saw the silver tabby cat, with the square markings around it's eyes, that resembled a pair of spectacles, he reached out his arms gleefully to her.

"Granma Minmin ..." he gurgled blissfully, his tiny face lighting up with joy. "Granma Minmin ...hug ... hug." he demanded. Opening his arms pleadingly to her.

Minerva gasped, he recognised her, she hadn't been ready for this, she should have been, she'd often assumed animagus form when babysitting Harry, as a way to entertain him. Harry's open welcoming arms were a plea to Minerva's heart and soul, she longed with every part of her to assume her true form, to gather Harry into a motherly hug, and never let him go again. It was only Minerva's trust in Albus, that prevented her from giving into her heart's desire. If Albus Dumbledore said that Harry was in danger, then Minerva knew he must be right, she must resist her needs, it was far too risky to be here as anything other than a tabby cat. So great was her longing, that it was all she could do to force herself to stay in her animagus form. Minerva felt almost as though, she might return to human form against her will.

Even though Minerva was determined not to take any needless risks, she couldn't resist Harry's demanding arms, his pleading eyes, within seconds the silver tabby was by her child's side. Instantly Harry's arms were wrapped around her, his tousled head nuzzling into her fur, the only way Minerva could respond, was to show her love in the way cats show affection. Minerva nudged him gently with her head, rubbing softly against his chin, as Harry showered her feline ears with baby kisses.

"Granma Minmin ..." he chortled in delight, and planted a particularly wet kiss on her nose.

"Yes Harry ...Granma Minmin ..." Minerva's voice was a soft loving purr, of motherly bliss. She hadn't meant to speak, was so well aware of the risks, but how could she not speak, he was her child , she couldn't keep silent. "I love you Harry." Her purr was a soft humm, a caress of love for her boy.

Minerva felt Harry's baby grip tighten around her neck, as he clung to her so hard, she almost struggled for breath. Their cheeks nuzzled against each other, and for the first time, since the loss of James and Lily, Minerva felt complete, the empty sad space in her heart filled again. In those precious moments she forgot all about her plan, forgot the need to remain secret, and discover if Harry was well cared for here. She was swept away by her love for Harry, by the joy of having him with her again.

This was why she failed to hear the approaching footsteps, untill the last minute, when they were nearly at the door of the room. For a split second, Minerva froze, her fur standing on end in alarm, as she remembered why she'd come here. If her plan was to work, she must not be discovered. She almost regretted revealing her presence to Harry, as the beginnings of panic rose within her, immediately quelled by her formidable will power. Her superior hearing, a benefit of being in cat form, told her the footsteps were female, almost certainly those of Petunia dursley. She must hide, or all was lost.

Instantly Minerva tore herself from Harry's arms, forced herself to ignore his wail of protest. The footsteps were right outside the door, she must take refuge somewhere, frantically Minerva scanned the room, searching desperately for a hiding place. Suddenly she spotted an ugly chintz armchair in the corner, and just as the door handle turned, streaked across the room to take cover behind it, but it was too late.

Petunia Dursley's indignant screech filled the room, "You digusting creature ! How did you get in here ? All over my clean floors too !"

Next thing Minerva knew, Petunia had flung the bucket of dirty water, she'd been carrying at Minerva. As the filthy water hit her, Minerva's cat instincts took controll of her, she yowled in shock, lept in the air as though stung, and still yowling, fled from the Dursley's. Minerva was so much under the controll of her feline side, that she didn't even hear Harry's wails of protest, at his Grandma leaving him in such a way.

Drenched, shocked, terrified, the silver tabby raced blindly along the streets, fleeing from an unseen enemy, unaware of where it was going, driven by instinct and panic. Finally the tabby found quivering refuge under a garden bush, lay on the earth trembling and breathless, sides heaving, drenched in the filthy water, that Petunia had just finished cleaning her floors with. It took a few minutes for Minerva to regain her self controll, and batter her feline instincts into submission, then she was overcome with guilt for having fled.

Minerva knew that her plan was ruined, it was impossible to return to the Dursley's, and try to check on Harry again that day. She was furious with herself, and even more furious with Petunia Dursley. _'Damm that bloody muggle woman.' _She thought angrily, _'Barbaric, utterly barbaric - throwing water at a cat, everyone knows cats hate water, damm her.' _Minerva arched her back in rage, only just supressed her instinct to spit or hiss, as though at an enemy. She was disgusted with herself, how could she have fled like that ? It was one of the risks of being an animagus, that in extreme circumstances, the natural instincts of the animal, whose form you took, could take over and control your actions for a time. Minerva knew this, but still found it hard to forgive herself. She was enraged and deeply ashamed, all at once. She had no choice now, other than to return to Hogwarts, and tell Albus what she had done, try to persuade him to go and check on Harry himself. Minerva's rational side knew that she had no real proof of Harry being either ill treated, or neglected, hardly surprising, given the small amount of time she'd spent there, but her emotional side was utterly convinced now, that Harry was at risk there. Something just hadn't felt right, she could only hope that Albus would believe her.

Petunia Dursley stared after the fleeing cat, with disgust and loathing, then she turned and glared at Harry, her face full of rage and hatred. "You horrible brat, encouraging that dirty flea ridden animal into my nice clean home, I'll teach you a lesson, you little brat." Petunia snarled, venting all her anger and frustration on him.

Instantly Harry began to sob in terror, it wasn't the first time that either Petunia, or Vernon, had directed their fury at him, and though he was only a year old, he'd already learned to fear them when they were angry.

"Be quiet, you nasty little freak, no one cares about freaks like you." Petunia snapped viciously, her face just an inch from Harry's.

Petunia shot out a cruel hand, and grabbed the sobbing toddler by his arm, then hauled him unceremoniously out of the room, and along the hall to the cupboard under the stairs. As Petunia opened the door of the cupboard, and Harry saw the pitch blackness within, he began to wail loudly for his Granma Minmin. At once callous nails dug into his arm, "Shut up you horrible brat." Petunia commanded, then pushed the screaming child into the dark cupboard, and bolted the door. Harry's screams continued, as he wailed for his grandma, but no one came, and finally the screams turned to pitiful sobs.

As Petunia listened to Harry's screams, there was a vicious smile on her face. She'd let him out in an hour or so, she was too scared of Dumbledore, to risk harming Harry physically, but she could certainly make the little freak pay for the unwanted inconveinience of having him there. Oh she would keep him alive for Dumbledore, even if she would have much preferred to dump him in an orphanage, and leave him to rot, but she certainly wasn't going to love, or care for her sister's freak of a son.

Minerva was too far away by then to hear Harry's wails, otherwise she would certainly have gone and rescued him.

It took the silver tabby a few minutes to get it's bearings, as it emerged from under the bush, finally it set off down the road. It was quite clear to anyone who happened to see the cat, that it was enraged. It stalked along the road, tail in a rigid line, drenched fur standing on end, and ears flat against it's head. Minerva was indeed raging with fury, she would have loved to have gone back, and dealt with Petunia Dursley, taught her not to throw water at cats ever again, but she knew this might endanger Harry. Instead she made her way back to where she'd left the portkey, endeavoring to be as insignificant as possible, despite her anger.

As the silver tabby slunk along one of the roads, not far from the Dursley's, she saw the familliar figure of Albus Dumbledore, at the other end of the road. Even dressed in soberly coloured muggle clothing, apart from the bright purple shoes, and pink tie, he was instantly recogniseable to her. Even at that distance, Minerva knew at once that he had seen her, felt his gaze upon her, so intense it almost seemed to burn her. Minerva's feline sixth sense told her that he was deeply angry, for a second she was tempted to turn tail and flee, but Minerva was far too courageous to give into such feelings. _'I haven't done anything wrong.' _She told herself, _'He's got no right to object to what I did.' _but even so, she still felt that it would be best not to face Albus at the moment, better to let him calm down first, she thought.

Albus was now striding along the street towards her, she had to think fast if she was to avoid him. Minerva knew that Albus would certainly recognise her, if he saw the distinctive spectacle markings round her eyes, so trying to look nochalont, she hid her head among some plants, pretending to be sniffing at the leafs. Another minute, and Albus was standing over her, Minerva buried her head even deeper in the plant, hoping against hope that it would fool him, knowing in her heart that there was no chance of this. Even without looking at him, she could sense the rage that emanated from him, it chilled her to the bone, as she felt his gaze upon her. Minerva had seen Albus angry before, but never like this, she hadn't expected such a reaction, from a man who'd only ever shown her kindness and gentleness.

I know it's you Minerva." Albus said softly, the merest quiver of fury in his voice.

As he spoke, she could feel the intensity of Albus's eyes upon her, almost commanding her to lift her head, and look at him, slowly almost against her will, she lifted her head and looked up at him. Normally Albus's eyes would have twinkled merrily at the sight of a drenched, and clearly furious Minerva in her animagus form, but today the twinkle was absent. Instead his eyes glinted like cold steel. Minerva could sense the shrouded anger that radiated from him, controlled fury evident in the rigid way he held himself. She felt her heart begin to pound within her, she had never known Albus look quite so enraged before, she was furious with herself for it, but couldn't help feeling a surge of fear within her. Only Minerva's courage and strength, her conviction that she had done the right thing in defying him, let her cover her fear and face him bravely.

"That bloody woman threw water ..." Snarled the silver tabby defiantly, hoping to deflect some of Albus's very evident anger onto Petunia, instead of her.

"Minerva ..." Albus started to say warningly, when they were interupted by the shrill tones of a young boy, who was walking along the road with his mother.

"Mum ... Mum, that man's talking to a cat !" The little boy tugged excitedly on his mother's arm.

Glancing at the boy, Albus guessed that he was about 5 years old, he had blond hair and, bright sparkling eyes full of mischief. If Albus had been less angry, he would have found the child charming, as it was he tried to hide his fury, and appear as normal and unmagical as possible.

"Yes dear ... now come along." His mother answered, sounding very much as though she wasn't really listening.

"But Mum ... the cat answered him !" The child said, his eyes alight, with the thrill of having heard a cat talk.

It was all Albus and Minerva could do not to gasp in horror, as they tried desperately to seem casual and unconcerned.

"Don't be silly Dear, cats don't talk." The boy's mother answered firmly.

"But Mum, I heard ..." The little boy protested.

"That's enough, Dear. Don't tell fibs." His mother answered, in a slightly irritated voice.

Albus couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for the little boy, even when so angry, it was this that made him say softly. "Children have the most wonderful imaginations, don't they ? I'm quite sure he doesn't mean to tell fibs, little children sometimes get confused between what's real and what isn't."

The child's mother stared at Dumbledore, her face a picture of horror and shock, could this strange old man really be speaking to her. The little boy grinned up at Albus, "Thanks Mister." he said happily.

"Don't talk to strange old men, Dear, you don't know where he's been." The woman's mouth curled in disgust, as she seized her son's hand, and pulled him down the street. "And stay away from his filthy cat too, it's probably got fleas." She added.

As Minerva heard the woman's words, she bared her teeth in fury, looked almost ready to leap on her and scratch her. Instantly Albus fixed her with a fierce glare, that said very clearly, _'Don't you dare.' _That look, was enough to make Minerva regain her self control, though she continued to snarl, and hiss in fury, as mother and child vanished down the road.

For a minute or two Albus and Minerva stood in silence, the air between them tense with fury, finally Minerva decided to try to explain her actions.

"I just ..." she began, when Albus interupted her.

"Not here." Albus answered, in an ominous voice which was full of quiet fury, and made Minerva dread facing him "We will use this portkey to return to Hogwarts, and then we shall discuss this." As he spoke, Albus withdrew the empty lemon drop tin from his cloak, then drew Minerva into a side alley, well away from prying eyes.

Once they were out of sight, both touched the portkey, and were transported back to Albus's office.

_**Author's Notes**_

_**Thanks to all you wonderful people who review, if it wasn't for you guys I might have given up on this story, so it's appreciated very much. Please review if you read and enjoy, thanks. :)**_

_**Whew the longest chapter so far, :) I hope the jumping from scene to scene wasn't too confusing, I felt it was needed to show how things happen. **_

_**I did a huge amount of soul searching over the scene where Petunia shuts Harry in the cupboard, even short before publishing I was thinking of leaving it out. In my original plan for this chapter, (made many months ago) it wasn't in, but I felt though, that it was necessary to the story, since we needed to know that Minerva is right. I'm still not sure I made the right choice. So I apologise if the scene offended anyone. I hope that having a humourous scene at the end of this chapter didn't seem too inappropriate given what had happened before. I felt we needed something light after such an sad chapter. **_

_**I also hope that it makes sense that Minerva fled ? She would never have done so if it wasn't for her cat instincts taking over. I really hope Albus's anger is understandable too ? I love Albus, and try to make him likeable, it's just he makes mistakes. **_

_**Things to Come**_

_**Chapter 14 **__** Albus and Minerva arrive back at Hogwarts, Minerva needs all her courage to face an angry Albus. Anger leads to tender romantic moments. **_

_**Chapter 15**__** Minerva's missing of Harry is stronger than ever, will she cope ?**_

_**Chapter 16 **__** A nice light moment starts the chapter, pressures on Albus and Minerva's love increase.**_

_**Chapter 17**__** Albus looses his temper. **_

_**Chapter 18**__** Severus isn't used to wanting to help other people. **_

_**Chapter 19 **__** We learn more about Severus, and why he gave up being a death eater, (not compliant with DH), **_


	14. Anger and Tenderness

Chapter 14

Albus and Minerva appeared in Albus's office almost instantaneously, the tin that had served as a portkey, dropped unnoticed to the floor between them. Neither one felt relaxed enough to want to sit down. Instead they remained standing, and faced each other, almost like two combatants in a battle, stress evident in both their postures. With an angry flick of his wand, Albus made the logs in the fireplace blaze into fiery life, at the same time Minerva cast a drying, and cleaning spell, on her soaking wet robes. For a couple of minutes, there was a doom laden silence, the air between them seeming to almost quiver with tension, much like the atmosphere before a storm.

It was Albus that finally broke the deadly silence between them, "Minerva, I trusted you. How could you endanger Harry in this way ?" Though Albus's voice was calm, there was a hint of fury in the pale blue eyes, and his voice was devoid of it's normal warmth, seeming almost icy in it's forced calmness.

Minerva felt almost like his student once again, though even in her days as his student, he had never once spoken to her with such rage. The anger in his voice filled her with many conflicting emotions, the coldness she heard gave her a sense of dread. She was determined not to let him know how she felt though, for Harry's sake she must stand up to him, convince him to change his mind.

"I had to proove to you that they aren't fit to care for Harry, that they will ill treat him ..." Minerva answered as calmly as she could.

"You have proof that they are ill treating Harry ?" Albus's voice was sharp.

Minerva was silent, she longed to be able to say that she did indeed have proof of this, but she didn't have any evidence at all. She hadn't been there long enough to see much, all she had was her motherly instinct, which cried louder than ever that something wasn't right, and that Harry was at risk with the Dursleys. Finally regretfully, she answered, "No ... no real proof as such ... but I still believe ..."

"So, in fact, you found no evidence that Harry is being ill treated or neglected." Albus said, he was still angry with Minerva, something which surprised and saddened him, he'd never been angry with her before. He could feel the fury burning deep inside him, she had foolishly endangered Harry, he had every right to be annoyed. Only his love for Minerva let him controll his anger.

"I wasn't there long enough to find proof." Minerva was determined to keep fighting for Harry's sake, despite being un-nerved by Albus's anger. "Apparently that blasted muggle doesn't like cats, she threw a bucket of water over me as soon as she saw me. Anyone who would do this is clearly not fit to care for a child."

Minerva's face was taut with fury, her back arched in annoyance, almost like a cats. Albus half expected her to show her claws, or hiss. At any other time, Albus would have found the idea amusing, but he was still appalled that Minerva had gone against his wishes, and recklessly endangered Harry.

"I've a good mind to go back there, and turn her into a mouse for a few days ...That would teach her a lesson ..." Minerva continued, looking very much as though, she would greatly enjoy assuming cat form and hunting Petunia.

"You will do no such thing." Albus's voice was commanding, and his eyes flashed dangerously. "Harry is not to be endangered, I have made my wishes on this clear, on several occasions now."

Minerva felt a wave of misery wash over her, she hated having Albus so furious with her. Part of her just wanted to fall into his arms, and beg his forgiveness, to weep like a little child, and be comforted by him. The icy fury in his eyes, and voice, had shaken her to her core, in all the years she'd known him, he'd never been like this with her before. She supposed she should have expected it, after all she had defied his wishes, something she had never done before. She hadn't expected it though, had never thought he would react like this.

It took all Minerva's Gryffindor will power, and courage, to keep looking into Albus's eyes as he spoke to her in this way. To face that dangerous steely glint, and still say, "What about my wishes ? Don't they matter ?"

"Minerva, that is hardly fair. You know they matter, they matter very much indeed." Albus answered softly, suddenly looking very old and tired.

Though his words had been the gentlest thing he'd said, since they arrived back at Hogwarts, they still felt like a rebuke to Minerva. She felt tears forming in her eyes, fought to stop them falling. Suddenly she was overwhelmed by the days events, by seeing Harry again, for such a short time, only to loose him again. She felt weak as the last shreds of the fury, that had kept her going, drained from her.

Albus seemed to sense something of what she felt, and his voice was a little gentler, and warmer, as he asked, "Can I trust you not to go and see Harry again unless I give permission ?"

"It isn't fair to demand that of me ..." Minerva's voice shook as she answered.

"Minerva in all our years together this is the first thing I have demanded, as you put it, of you, and the only reason I ask this of you, is my wish to keep Harry safe." Albus said, his words sounding harsher than he intended.

"You may not have demanded or asked for my loyalty ... but I gave it all the same, unquestioningly ... How can you ask such a thing of me now ? Speak to me as though you no longer trust me ... I don't deserve that..." Minerva's words were interspersed with sobs, as tears streamed down her face.

Seeing his love crying like this, washed away the last remnants of Albus's anger. He adored Minerva far too much to stay angry for long, now he just felt terrible, blamed himself for having been too harsh with her, for forgetting how hard this was on her.

Instantly Albus was by her side, enveloping her in a warm embrace. "Minerva, my darling I'm so sorry ... I should never have spoken to you so ... how can you ever forgive me ... I was wrong to be so angry, I should have been more understanding." For once Albus's customary calmness had deserted him, and he was almost frantic with guilt and desperation. How could he have hurt his beloved Minerva so ? Spoken to her so ? He loathed himself for his words, for his anger, which now seemed utterly unjustified to him. "Please my darling, please don't cry ... I love you ... I adore you ...I'm so sorry ... I was horrible to you ... please don't cry ..."

Minerva felt his lips brushing her cheeks softly, as he tried to kiss her tears away. All she could do was bury her head in his shoulder, and sob into his silvery beard, as Albus murmered soothing words of balm into her ear, and his hand softly caressed her hair.

Albus could feel Minerva's heart fluttering against his chest, trembling like a captive bird, she'd never seemed so fragile to him before. Was this what his choice was doing to her ? Destroying her strength ? What if the loss of Harry destroyed her ? Was he wrong ? Was it worth such suffering ? Albus was barely aware of the doubts, that began to grow deep in his inner being, his entire focus was on Minerva, and his desperation to comfort her.

Albus wrapped a strong supportive arm round Minerva's waist, and helped her to a comfortable sofa by the fire, Conjoured a warm blanket, and draped it over her shivering form, as she rested back against the cushions, her breath coming in gasps. "Minerva, my darling, you are exhausted, you need to rest." Albus said gently, his voice trembling with guilt. "And you're freezing cold too, I should have noticed it sooner, I'm so sorry. I ... I'll never treat you so dreadfully ever again, please forgive me." How could he have treated her so, how could he have failed her so ? He should have noticed how cold and hurt she was. She didn't deserve to be treated so horribly by him. Albus felt as if he would bear the shame and guilt of his anger all his life, he would never forgive himself for this. All he could do was try to make it right, do his best to sooth her.

Albus knelt by the sofa, encased Minerva's hands in his, her fingers were icy cold in his warm grasp. Speaking softly, Albus summoned a house elf, and asked for hot chocolate to be sent at once, almost instantaneously a steaming mug of hot chocolate appeared.

As Albus held the mug to her lips, Minerva sipped the warming liquid gratefully, she had never been particularly fond of hot chocolate before today, thinking it too sweet, but at this moment she was glad of it, found it soothed her nerves a little. The tears still fell down her face, like gentle rain though, and she still shivered against Albus's strong arms. Albus was close to tears himself too, but fought them back bravely, determined to be strong for Minerva, and give her comfort.

Tenderly Albus brushed the hair from Minerva's pale face, conjoured a soft hankie to dry her tears, and lying next to her on the sofa, drew her into a loving embrace, so that she was cradled in his arms, her head resting against his chest. "I love you so much, Minerva, I'm so sorry for everything, for having hurt you so, it was unforgiveable of me ..." Albus's voice quivered, as he bit back the tears of guilt and shame that threatened to flow. "You are my world, my dear, I am nothing without you. You are the best part of me, you always have been ...I should never have spoken to you so ...you are my life, I adore you. I treasure every second with you. I will never ...never be angry with you ever again, my darling."

Neither of them could say how long they lay in each others arms, Minerva's head against his chest, as Albus's soothing warm voice caressed her wounded soul, with words of love and adoration, interspersed with gentle loving kisses. Slowly Minerva's trembling eased, and she began to regain some of her calmness, and fighting spirit, as the shock and pain of Albus's earlier anger drained from her. For a time she rested content in his arms, then raised her head from his chest, and with something of her normal vigour said, "I know I don't have any proof Albus, but I believe more than ever now that Harry is being neglected, things just didn't seem, or feel, right to me, please believe me."

"My darling, you are exhausted, do you not think it would be better to speak of this another day ? You really should rest and recover." Albus said gently.

"No, No I don't. I want to talk about this now, right now." Minerva was determined not to give into the weakness she still felt. "Harry's welfare is too important ..."

Albus sighed, he knew Minerva's stubborn streak well, knew there was no changing her mind when she was truly determined about something. He also sensed that if he refused to talk about Harry, then she would just become even more distressed.

"Then perhaps, you had better tell me everything that you saw while at the Dursleys." Albus said, "But please do not tire yourself, I am still deeply concerned about you, my dear."

"Harry was sitting alone in the middle of the floor. No one seemed to care or even notice that he was there, didn't even wonder where he was, or what he was doing, too busy with their own concerns.." Minerva's voice was full of rage and disgust. "There wasn't even anyone in the room with him, only a year old, and left on the floor alone ..."

"But Minerva, my dear, you were only there a few short minutes weren't you ?" Albus asked as gently as he could, fearing that he would distress her again.

"Only because that bloody muggle woman threw a bucket of water over me, as soon as she saw me, bloody woman. Throwing water over a cat is a terrible thing to do." Minerva almost seemed to shudder, as she remembered how it had felt to have water flung over her, while in her animagus form.

"My poor darling ..." Albus said tenderly, "It must have been horrible for you ... but perhaps she is afraid of cats, and that's why she did it."

"She damm well will be if I get hold of her ..." snapped Minerva, her eyes flashing with some of her normal fiercesome spirit for a split second.

"Why don't you continue telling me about Harry ..." Albus said diplomatically.

"As I said, they had just left him alone on the floor, not even in the same room as them, and his face was filthy. She can't even be bothered to keep him clean ..." Minerva's voice was full of contempt, and loathing for Petunia Dursley. "Clearly he is being neglected, it wouldn't surprise me if they were ill treating him in other ways too, he should be brought back here with us ..." The look in Minerva's eyes was a desperate plea, that filled Albus with sorrow.

For a couple of minutes there was silence, as Albus's embrace tightened around her, and his head rested against hers, finally he spoke. "That is hardly proof of neglect my dear ..."

"Are you accusing me of lying ?" Minerva interrupted, her voice sounding close to breaking, as Albus felt her begin to tremble against him again.

"No, no, my darling, of course not. Please do not distress yourself, I could never, would never, think such a thing of you. I assure you of this, my darling." Albus said gently, reaching out his hand, he raised her chin so that he could gaze into her eyes. "I trust you Minerva, that has not changed, and it will never change." Albus's voice was firm and sincere.

Looking into his eyes, Minerva knew that Albus meant what he said, and his words eased the wounds his earlier fury had caused. For a second, her eyes gazed into his soul, as an unspoken message of love passed between them. Then Minerva's thoughts returned to Harry once again, and her emerald eyes which were normally so clear, became clouded with sorrow.

"If you would just go and check on him for yourself, you would see what I mean, Albus." Minerva said.

Albus sighed before answering, "If it were not for the risks I would gladly do as you wish, my dear. If it were not for the risks, I would have Harry here. I miss him very much too, but we cannot take the chance. We cannot take the risk."

"Albus, you must listen to me, all my instincts tell me that something isn't right, that Harry isn't being cared for properly. After going there I am convinced of it. Can't you just trust me, trust my instincts ..." Minerva's voice was full of desperation.

"I do trust you Minerva, but perhaps your instincts are being influenced by your missing Harry ..." Albus tried to speak as kindly as he could, "It would be very understandable if this were the case, my dear ...I would not send Harry anywhere I thought he might be ill treated or neglected, I believe Petunia will come to love Harry ...Please try to understand my reasons."

Any other day, Minerva might have felt her temper begin to flare at his stubborness, but still nestled in his warm encircling arms she just couldn't rouse herself to anger, was to drained to fight anymore.

"Can't we at least have some contact with Harry, send letters or birthday cards, or christmas presents ? Can't the Durlseys at least let us know how he is doing occasionally ? There's no risk in that." Minerva was almost pleading with Albus, to permit this one small thing.

Albus would have loved to agree, for a moment he was tempted to say yes, but just as he was about to grant her wish, the image of Lily's twisted corpse flashed unwanted into his mind, sending a searing surge of terror of seeing Harry lying dead through him. It was like raw wounds opening, and it changed his mind, without him being even aware of it.Sadly, gently, he answered. "I only try to keep him safe my darling, I know it is hard, but letters and scrolls can be traced, deatheaters might find out where harry is and that would endanger him."

"But he is protected by the blood protection already, isnt that enough, why must we also have so much secrecy ?" Minerva asked.

"I do not wish to take any risks, no matter how small. I only wish to keep him alive." Albus answered, then with a tremble in his voice "I miss him too, my darling, but we must be strong." Seeing the sorrow in Minerva's face, Albus reached out to grasp her hand, before continuing sadly. "If people found out where he was, then there would be reporters on the Dursley's doorstep, wizards rushing over to congratulate the boy who lived, in such chaos there would be so much danger. It is so much better if Harry's whereabouts is kept secret, it is an extra gaurantee. Not to mention that Petunia needs time and space to learn to love Harry."

"If I had Harry I would not have to learn to love him." Minerva said, in a voice that broke Albus's heart.

"Oh my Dear ..." Was all Albus could bring himself to say, as his arms tightened around her, as though seeking desperately to ease her pain. Words of comfort surged through his mind, but none of them seemed adequate to him, as guilt and self hatred tightened their grip on his soul. Why must they live through the torment of such dark times ? Now that Voldemort was gone, couldn't there be some light for them, for her ?

"Albus ..." Minerva said hesitantly, "I think I just want to be alone now ...I just need some time ...a night alone ..."

"I understand my dear." Albus said sadly, it was the first time Minerva had chosen to spend a night apart from him, and he couldn't help but be saddened by her choice. "It has been a difficult day, you need time to recover, to rest. I will miss you though, but if you are sure ..."

"Yes Albus, I am sure." Minerva answered. All she knew was that she just wanted to be on her own, she wasn't sure why, just that she felt as though her sadness over Harry must suffocate her, like a weight pressing down on her.

"Then I will wish you a very good night my darling." Albus tried to keep the sorrow and loneliness from his voice, but he couldn't hide the sadness in his eyes. His good night kiss was tender and loving, but in it there was sorrow, and a hint of fear.

After Minerva had left, Albus stayed sitting alone on the sofa. He couldn't summon the will to go to his bed, as he rested back against the cushions, he noticed how they still held a hint of Minerva's favourite perfume, almost as though a part of her was still there with him. Sighing Albus laid his head against the cushions, lavender and scotch heather, his only comfort that long lonely night, as the tears of remorse fell, like highland rain.

_**Author's Notes**_

_**Thanks to everyone who reviews, it really does make me determined to finish this story, and make it the best it can be. So reviews are great, espeicially now when I'm struggling with some chapters a little. So please review. **_

_**Well I hope Albus wasn't too mean to Minerva ? It was fun writing an angry Albus, maybe cos it's so unusual, and I just felt I couldn't see him really raging at her, or yelling, or anything, that just isn't Dumbledore imo. Though I do think an angry Dumbledore would be quite scary. Hope the romantic stuff was nice too ?  
**_

_**Things to Come**_

_**Chapter 15 this chapter trys to set up things that happen a bit later in the story. When Albus can't help, Poppy must try. Despite feeling so weak, Minerva still tries to fight for Harry.  
**_

_**Chapter 16 Minerva is worried by strange silences. **_

_**Chapter 17 When old mentors disapprove, will Albus listen ?**_

_**Chapter 18 (This chapter is an absolute nightmare to write, I've struggled for over two weeks with it now, kicks chapter 18. I might split it in two if it gets too long. ) Poppy's suprised, Severus is surprised, Albus is surprised. I don't want to give too much away about this chapter lol. **_

_**Chapter 19 Since the previous chapter will have a cliffhanger at the end, it's difficult to say much. Severus, Poppy, and Rolanda are an unlikely team. **_


	15. Weakness

Chapter 15 

Minerva felt as though seeing Harry again had brought all her grief, and sense of loss, into sharp focus, as though her wounds had deepened. All of her heart, and soul, was full of thoughts of Harry. She couldn't get the image of Harry sitting on the floor alone, out of her mind, her heart broke a thousand times each day, as she remembered how he'd seemed to recognise her. Even in her animagus form of a grey tabby, he had known her, remembered her, called her Granma Minmin, just as he used to when James and Lily were alive. _'Did he also remember James and lily ?' _She wondered, _'He must do, must wonder where they were, why they didn't come to get him, must miss them.' _Her heart shattered inside her, as she thought of how lost, alone, and confused Harry must feel.

At times Minerva resented Albus, resented his choice to send Harry away. She felt torn between love and hate, terrified by the surges of hatred she felt for Albus. Their's had always been such a tender, idyllic relationship. Minerva had no idea, how to cope with the rage, and hatred, she sometimes felt towards Albus. She clung desperately to her love for him, as her world descended into conflict, and confusion, worsened by her inability to sleep, since seeing Harry again.

If Minerva, had been able to bring herself to speak to Albus, about how she felt, he might have been able to offer words of wisdom, and comfort to calm her, and ease her worries. Instead, she kept these feelings where she thought they belonged, in the darkest deepest part of her, loathed and feared them. Longed for them to be gone, and for unquestioning love to return.

Once, and once only, she lost control of the fury, that burned within her. Yelled at him, with hatred in her eyes, after fruitlessly trying to persaude him, to change his mind about Harry, "Do you think Lily would have wanted this ? You betray Lily by leaving Harry there !" Watched in horror and shame, as the colour drained from Albus' face, and tears sprang to his eyes. Rushed to hold him in her arms, as the hate fled from her, leaving love behind. More and more, Minerva felt as if their relationship was being destroyed, wondered if their love could survive this. How many times could she hurt him like this, before he stopped loving her ?

As the days went by, and her exhaustion increased, Minerva became less, and less, able to focus on anything except Harry. Everything else in her life, became almost meaningless to her, simply an unwanted intrusion, while she struggled to cope with her feelings. Even her worries about Albus, and their relationship were pushed from her mind. Her longing to have Harry with her, seemed to grow stronger as each intolerable hour passed, the missing of him was like an open wound, that constantly wept.

Albus sensed her pain, and felt in his still guilty state, that it must be caused by his anger. So he spent the first few days, after his outburst of rage, being particularly tender, and loving, to Minerva. Constantly enfolding her in, warm loving embraces, every time she so much as entered a room, whispering tender endearments in her ear, and begging her forgiveness, for treating her so horribly. At first, Minerva found his tenderness, and affection, mildly soothing. Though nothing could completely console her, but as she was increasingly affected by lack of sleep, she began to find it irritating. As Albus' attempts to comfort her continued, and Minerva became more, and more, exhuasted, she was almost driven to distraction by him. All that she wished to do was think of Harry, at times, Albus' presence felt like an unwelcome intrusion to her, at other times she resented him, for his choice regarding Harry.

In her heart, she didn't want to hurt Albus, but as time passed, she could bear his constant affection no more, and began to pull back from his embraces. Started to irritably say, "Oh Albus, do be quiet for a minute and let me think ..." Would scarcely notice the sorrow, and hurt in his face, at her words, the shadow in the normally twinkling eyes. More and more often, Albus would ask softly, "Would you prefer if I left my dear ?" His face clearly showing, how worried he was, how he longed to stay, and try to give comfort to her.

Minerva would hardly bother to answer Albus, when he asked, if he should leave her alone. Often she would snap, "Do what you like, I don't care ..." Then turn away from him, and retreat back into her private torment. When she said this, Albus would hesitate for a time, unsure what to do - sometimes he would stay, sitting in mournful silence, with bowed head, other times he would turn, and leave softly, with sorrow in his eyes and heart.

Albus began to fear that Minerva's love for him was dying, that his decision to leave Harry with the Dursleys, would destroy their relationship. At times, he thought he sensed hatred in her, and this haunted and terrified him. He questioned himself and his choices, desperately tempted to give in, and bring Harry home to her, but decided that it would be wrong, and selfish, of him to expose Harry to risk, in order to keep Minerva's love. When he wasn't worrying about Minerva, he worried about Harry, unable to get him out of his mind, wondered constantly how he was doing. Increasingly he was tempted to give in, to Minerva's wishes, and go to check on Harry himself. Every time he came close to deciding to do this though, the searing image of Lily and James dead, would leap into his mind, filling him with terror of loosing Harry in the same way. If Albus hadn't been convinced, that Petunia would love Harry, for her sister's sake, he would have overcome this terror, and gone to check on Harry. He couldn't bring himself to tell Minerva, about his torment over Harry, believing that it would simply make her feel even worse. Instead he tried to cover his pain, and remain calm for her, thinking that this was the best way to comfort and support her. When he wasn't worrying about Minerva, and how to help her, Albus was full of insecurity and fear, that he would loose her.

Albus missed Harry desperately, but tried to cover it up for Minerva's sake, believing that he had to be strong for her. When he was alone, he was tormented by how long it would be, before he saw Harry again, all those precious years of growing up, that he would never see. Then his thoughts went instantly to Minerva, and how much worse it must be for her, and his heart broke within him for her, as he vowed to be strong and calm for her.

Minerva felt so weak and drained, she was barely sleeping at night, and was furious with herself for such weakness, such self indulgence. She told herself countless times each day, that she had to be strong for Harry's sake, had to keep fighting, keep trying to convince Albus. She berated herself constantly, for what she saw as failures and pathetic, but she didn't have the energy to keep fighting. This made Minerva feel, as though she was betraying Harry, since she was, after her visit to the dursleys, utterly convinced that Harry was not safe there.

As the days passed, Albus became increasingly concerned about Minerva, noticed the dark circles, that had begun to form under her eyes, and how pale, and drawn she looked. At first, Minerva and Albus had continued to spend the night together, as normal. Albus had been sure at the time, that she was asleep, but now he wondered, if she had been simply pretending to sleep. They had spent the last three or four nights apart, as Minerva continued to push Albus away, and wish to be left alone.

Poppy too, was growing increasingly concerned, fearing that Minerva was heading for a breakdown. Poppy and Albus spoke often, in those days, about Minerva. When Albus failed in yet another attempt, at talking to Minerva, they both agreed that it was time for Poppy to try. Poppy had intended to wait untill lessons were over for the day, but when Minerva failed to turn up for lunch in the great hall, Poppy decided not to delay any further, and went to find Minerva.

When Poppy got to Minerva's rooms, she knocked, and called out to no avail, so she entered and saw Minerva sitting huddled in a chair by the fire, staring blankly at nothing. As soon as Poppy saw the despair etched in Minerva's all too pale face, she wrapped her arms around her friend, and drew her into a motherly hug. Somehow, the tender motherly hug soothed Minerva, in a way that all Albus' passionate, almost desperate embraces hadn't. Poppy felt the very slight easing of tension, in the woman in her arms, and moved one hand to stroke Minerva's hair, in a gentle maternal motion, as Minerva began to sob against her shoulder, as though her heart would break.

For several minutes, Poppy murmured soothing words, and continued to stroke Minerva's hair. Then she cupped Minerva's face between her hands, noting the whiteness, the exhaustion, the shadows under the dull emerald eyes.

"Minerva, have you been sleeping at all the last few days ?" Poppy asked gently.

All Minerva could do was shake her head, as tears continued to roll down her face, like rivers of sorrow.

"My poor child, you must be exhausted, a good nights sleep is what you need." Poppy said, hoping fervently that this was indeed all that Minerva needed.

"I'm not ...going mad then ?" Minerva could barely get the words out, between the sobs that still shook her body.

Tenderly, Poppy brushed the stray hairs from Minerva's face, before answering, in as reassuring a voice as possible, "Minerva, listen to me, you have not slept at all for six or seven days now, such lack of sleep has a very bad effect on how you feel. Trust me, you are not going mad, you are simply exhausted, you will feel much much better after a few nights of good peaceful sleep."

"Are ... you ...sure ?" Minerva sobbed, "I ...I ...feel like ...like I hate Albus sometimes, I must be ...going mad ..." Minerva was beginning to sound almost hysterical, with fear and worry.

"Hush, hush, " Poppy whispered soothingly, patting her back gently, "Try to be calm, Minerva, lack of sleep does strange things, everything will be all right." Poppy prayed that her words were true, and that sleep would be enough to heal her friend.

Poppy's words seemed to calm Minerva slightly, and her sobs eased a little.

"Now then, off you go and get ready for bed, and I'll bring you a dreamless sleep potion to take." Poppy said firmly.

"But ...middle of day ...my classes ..." Minerva started to protest half heartedly.

"Don't you worry about that." Poppy said, in the voice normally reserved for students, who refused to do as the healer wished, "Off to bed with you, at once please."

Poppy sighed in relief as Minerva actually did as she was told, she had half expected many more protests from Minerva, who normally objected strongly to anyone bossing her around.

Poppy gave Minerva a few minutes to get ready for bed, and then entered her bed chambers, to find Minerva half sitting on her bed, looking so drained and fragile, that tears sprang to Poppy's eyes. Being a healer was always so hard, when it was people you loved and cared for, that needed your help. Poppy swallowed hard, and fought to stop the tears from flowing, to maintain her professional detachment.

"Now, take this sleep potion, please, and then off to sleep with you." Poppy said firmly.

"Sleep potions are for the weak ...I don't need such things." Minerva said stubbornly, still determined not to surrender to the weakness, she despised so much.

Poppy could only admire how, even when so weakened and exhausted, Minerva clung to the last remnants of her strength. The willpower of the woman was truly incredible, she had the spirit of a lioness. Poppy was also determined that Minerva must take her potion, knowing that this was the best way to help her friend. So she assumed her firmest expression, and said in determined tones, "Nonsence, everyone needs help sometimes, now do as you are told please." When Minerva still hesitated, Poppy decided to try a different tactic, taking Minerva's hand in hers, she said, "Minerva, if you are to have any chance of persuading Albus to change his mind about Harry, then you need to be in the best possible shape. You need to be well rested, and more like your normal self ...If you do not wish to take the potion for your sake, then take it for Harry's sake."

Suddenly Minerva's eyes were fixed on Poppys, "You ... you believe him to be wrong too ?" She whispered.

Poppy hesitated before answering, she did not wish to be disloyal to Albus, but she also didn't want to lie to her friend. "I think that Albus acts with the best intentions, but unusually for him, he is mistaken ...he should at least check that Harry is being well cared for. To leave a child with strangers you barely know, and to not even check on him ..." Poppy couldn't keep her disapproval of Albus' choice from her voice, "Yes, Minerva, I believe him to be wrong." She finished softly.

"He won't listen to me. I can't ...can't persuade ...him" Minerva muttered, her lips clenching in a thin line of despair.

"Men can be stubborn creatures at times, they don't understand our motherly instincts, it takes time to persaude them to change their minds about things." Poppy said, firmly, trying to convince Minerva of the truth of her words, even though she wasn't sure herself, that Minerva could get Albus to change his mind. "You just need to keep trying, give him time, time to get over what he saw at Godrics Hollow, then maybe ...but, first you need some good nights of peaceful sleep, then you will feel much much better."

Poppy's words were enough to persuade Minerva to take the potion, and within minutes she had drifted off into a peaceful dreamfree sleep. Before Poppy left Minerva's chambers, she tucked Minerva in and gave her a gentle motherly kiss on the cheek.

Poppy's sleep potion had been a long acting one, and Minerva slept peacefully and undisturbed for well over twelve hours. She woke to see Albus sitting by her bed, his head in his hands, almost as though he had been crying. At first Minerva thought he was asleep, but then he raised his head and looked at her, with a hint of nervousness, as though he feared that he was unwelcome there.

"I'm sorry my dear, I didn't mean to still be here when you woke ...I know you will doubtless wish to be alone ...I will go now, if there is nothing that you need ..." He said softly, with a slight whisper of uncertainity in his voice.

Even in her half awake state, Minerva could hear the loneliness he tried to hide, and it touched her, so that her heart overflowed with love for him.

"Unless ...you wish me ...to stay ..." Albus whispered so quietly, she could hardly hear him, his eyes not daring to meet hers.

Minerva could find no words to make him, so she reached out and took his hand in hers. At once his fingers intwined with hers, like soft parchment against her skin.

Later there would be tender words, gentle kisses, and warm embraces, as they tried to heal their wounds, but for now they sat in silence, clinging to each other's hands, both hoping their love would survive. Each one fearing that the other's love might fade away, and die, if things did not improve.

_**Author's Notes**_

_**Thanks to all you wonderful people who take the time to review, it's really appreciated, so please review, reviews help to make grey horrible british summers full of sunshine, well maybe not lol but I wish they would. ;)**_

_**Sorry for not updating sooner, things conspired against me, and there's numerous reasons why I really couldn't update sooner, so I won't bore you all with them. Though one reason was eye problems which made it really painful to use computer for a couple of weeks, better now I hope. I hope in future to update about once a week. I may even update more often than that, miracles might happen. ;) Oh and for anyone reading my other story, love ink and candy, I haven't forgotten it, and will finish it. Whispers, it was forgotten for a while, but I've remembered it now. ;)**_

_**Things to Come**_

_**Chapter 16, Minerva overhears something she shouldn't, something about a prophecy. **_

_**Chapter 17, Albus has a difficult decision to make.**_

_**Chapter 18, Can love survive, when it's under such pressure ?**_

_**Chapter 19, Really, I just don't know what got into Poppy and Rolanda, it's bad enough to do what they did, but then they keep doing it, they must be mad. lol. ;) A certain person gets a lecture from Minerva. **_

_**Chapter 20, Albus acts.**_

_**Chapter 21, probably the final chapter, and will probably be followed by an epilogue, I will probably publish both at the same time, or within a day or two of each other. **_

_**All chapters except 20 and 21 are written, but need editing and perfecting before publishing, argh except chapter 18, mutters, lots of soul searching over that chapter. I've finally decided to go with my original story line for remaining chapters, despite some doubts. Reason is it gives some nice dramatic moments later I hope. And cliffhangers too, which there's quite a few coming. **_


	16. Silences and Suspicions

Chapter 16 

Poppy insisted that for the next few days, Minerva should take a dreamless sleep potion each night. Minerva remembering Poppy's words about, "For Harry's sake," did as Poppy wished. Poppy also prescribed at least three days of complete rest for Minerva, no work whatsoever, and definitely no teaching classes.

"But what about my students ?" Minerva spluttered indignantly.

"It has been arranged that someone else take your classes for the next few days." Poppy replied calmly, she had expected a battle with Minerva over this, and was well prepared.

"Who exactly will teach my students ? I can't have just any old person teaching my subject you know ...transfiguration is very complex, and can't be taught by just anyone ..." Minerva stated firmly, looking ready for battle, even in her weakened state.

"I know that, and that is why one of the best professors of transfiguration around, after you of course, will be teaching your class for the next few days." Poppy answered.

"Name ?" Minerva said curtly.

There was a slight hesitation before Poppy answered, she had a feeling that Minerva, with her love of strict discipline in the class room, might not like her answer. Finally she said as firmly as possible, "Why, Albus Dumbledore of course."

Minerva groaned in despair, "By the time he's finished with them, they'll be unmanagaeble, it'll be chaos, he'll probably having them changing things into lemon drops and hot chocolate all the time ...when they even do any work at all ..."

Suddenly Minerva looked up, and saw Albus twinkling merrily at her from near the door, he had come in unheard, while Poppy and Minerva were talking. Now he watched in some amusement, as Minerva blushed slightly in embarrassment, thought how the delicate pink flush, that crept over her cheeks, made her even more lovely than normal.

"Come, come, my dear, I'm not such a bad teacher as all that, am I ? Didn't you once refer to me as your favourite professor ever ?" He teased her softly, couldn't resist adding, "Besides I think some fun would do your students good."

"They can have fun, when they are not in my classroom." Minerva snapped, glaring at him, "Albus Dumbledore, if you dare to ..."

"My dear, I shall do my best to be stern, fiercesome, and disciplinarian." Albus assured her, with a mischievious twinkle in his eyes, that made Minerva groan in despair again.

Albus knelt by the sofa, she was resting on, kissed her tenderly and said, "My darling I promise to be good, I was only joking, there is no need to worry." The sincerity in his voice reassured Minerva, and she relaxed in his arms. In truth, she was still so tired that she was glad of the rest, knew in her heart that she was no good to her students, untill more fully recovered.

After a few days of peaceful uninterrupted sleep, Minerva seemed to have regained her old strength and will power. As her feelings of weakness lessened, she renewed her campaign, to get Albus to change his mind about Harry, seeming even more determined than ever, to convince him that he was wrong. At first their discussions about Harry remained largely calm, and good natured, but as Minerva grew increasingly frustrated, by what she felt was unreasonable stubborness by Albus, their talks became more stressful again. More, and more often, Minerva would loose her temper with Albus, or become very distressed by his refusals, no matter how calmly made, to check on Harry. .

Albus was almost in despair, as the rifts in their relationship seemed to widen with each passing day, fearing the effect that their frequent fights would have on Minerva, and terrified too, that he might loose her love. Though she seemed almost back to her old fiercesome self, Albus still worried about her, still shaken by how close she'd come to breaking. He longed, as did Minerva, for the old happy times to return. Though he was desperately tempted to give in to Minerva, and agree to check on Harry, he couldn't bring himself to take the risk, couldn't fully overcome his memories of seeing James and Lily dead. Also he still believed that Petunia would come to love Harry, and would not ill treat him.

They were both glad of the few tender loving moments, they still managed to share, treasuring them like a peaceful haven. Every day Minerva would vow to be calmer, to keep her well known temper under close controll, and Albus would promise himself that he would be even more calm, gentle and understanding. Sometimes he was so calm, that Minerva wanted to shake him, and only just resisted the temptation to do so.

"How on earth can you fight with a man who just sits there twinkling at you ?!" Minerva asked Poppy, during one of their chats. Poppy couldn't help but be amused by that, despite her worries about Minerva and Albus.

One afternoon, several days later, Minerva made her way to Albus' office to see him about her transfiguration class. As Minerva paused outside the door of Albus' office, she could hear the familliar murmur of voices from within, and knew that Albus was probably talking with the paintings of the ex headmasters, as he so often did. The words Voldemort and prophecy caught her ears, this didn't surprise her, she knew that Albus often discussed such things with the portraits, in a way they were his confidants, his advisors, and he felt that he could trust them completely.

What did surprise her, was that when she entered the room, there was instant silence, the type silence that happens when people are talking about you, or about something they don't want you to hear. Glancing at Albus, she noticed how his face had a strange blank expression on it, almost as if he were trying to cover up some strong emotion.

"Minerva ...my dear ...I had thought you were teaching, but I am delighted to see you my darling." Albus said, with a warm welcoming smile, which almost made Minerva wonder if she had imagined, his earlier mask like expression.

Despite Albus' greeting, and his loving kiss, there was still a strange atmosphere in the room, almost as though all of the other occupants were holding their breath.

"Did I interrupt something important ?" Minerva asked, returning Albus' kiss.

Once again, she wondered was it her imagination, when Albus seemed to hesitate for the merest fraction of a second before answering her. "Not at all my darling, why do you ask ?" he answered, with a flicker of something unusual in his eyes.

"It's just that I heard you all talking, when I was outside the door, and then as I entered you all stopped ...and I heard he who cannot be named mentioned ...and something about a prophecy ..." Minerva answered.

As Minerva said the word prophecy, she thought she heard a sharp intake of breath from one of the portraits, and she noticed how the inhabitants of the other paintings, all turned to stare, almost accusingly, at the culprit. Only Albus didn't move, as he sat with slightly bowed head, staring absently at the floor for a few minutes. Minerva almost had the impression, that he was deliberately avoiding meeting her eyes, but felt she must be wrong about this, Albus never hid things from her.

"Indeed, I believe we were discussing Voldemort ..." Albus said casually, though his eyes still seemed shrouded with a hint of mystery. "And I believe there may have been mention of one of Sybill's forecasts, you know what she's like my dear, a new forecast every day, but it was really nothing important. Have you heard about my new brand of lemon drops I'm trying ?"

Minerva had a faint, but distinct impression, that Albus was trying to change the subject. She pushed the thought away, almost angrily, Albus had never kept anything from her, not even the most confidential, and important Order of the Phoenix business. She trusted him completely, it was probably stress or lack of sleep affecting her, foolish imagination playing tricks with her mind.

The next half hour was spent discussing Albus' new lemon drops, and sharing tender kisses, while she sat on his knee, held in his loving arms. The portraits slumbered softly in their frames, and Minerva was almost completely sure that she must have imagined everything.

It was only later that day, when working in her office, that the memories of how strange Albus had seemed, returned to haunt her, nagging at her with their unwanted doubts. Each time that she banished them from her mind, they seemed to return stronger and stronger. No matter how many times she told herself that she trusted Albus, that he'd never kept anything from her, never had secrets ever, the doubts returned. Finally, she had no choice other than to give up all pretence of work, and face them.

_'He's just tired, and under stress,' _Minerva told herself, _'It's been hard on all of us, that's why he seemed odd.' _She still couldn't shake the instinct, that he had been keeping something from her. That was when she began to remember other times, when similar things had happened recently, times when sudden silences had fallen, as she entered Albus' office. It'd only been two or three times at most, and at the time, Minerva hadn't thought anything of it, but now she couldn't help but wonder.

_'I know Albus, he would never have secrets from me, I trust him.' _Minerva tried to convince herself totally of this, but against her will, her doubts were growing. She almost hated herself for having such doubts, felt as though she betrayed Albus in some way.

As Minerva's doubts grew, the unanswered questions that had lurked in the back of her mind, ever since Albus sent Harry to the Dursleys, emerged from their hiding place and demanded to be heard. Why was Albus so convinced, that Voldemort would immediately try to attack Harry, when he returned ? Why was it, that it seemed as though, Harry had been the target of Voldemorts attack ? Hadn't Albus said, that Voldemort tried to persuade Lily to move, and let him kill Harry ? That didn't make sense, why would Voldemort specifically target Harry ? James and Lily were the ones who'd worked against him. Above all one question tormented her, came into sharper focus than ever, as her doubts grew, Why was he being so stubborn about Harry ? The more Minerva thought about these things, the more she wondered if Albus had told her everything. Minerva felt awful for doubting Albus, it seemed to her that she was being a traitor to him in some way, but she could not rid herself of her concerns. She had always had a sharp sense of when someone was trying to lie to her, or hide things from her, and now, though she fervently wished it gone, it told her that Albus had behaved, just as though there was something he was hiding from her.

Suddenly there was a familliar knock at her door, and Albus' twinkling eyes were peering round the door at her.

"I thought I would come and see if you had finished your paperwork yet, my dear. It's too nice an evening for such dull pass times." Albus' voice was like a loving caress, as it normally was. "I come bearing hot chocolate ..." He added softly.

Hearing his voice, seeing his sparkling blue eyes, his warm smile, Minerva wondered how she could ever have questioned him, as her doubts seemed to vanish, like nightmares that flee from the warm light of the sun.

"That would be lovely." She answered, rising to wrap him in a warm embrace, and kiss him tenderly on the lips. "You can keep the hot chocolate though, horrible sickly stuff .."

"I was hoping you'd say that ..." Albus chuckled.

Minerva was so busy putting her papers neatly away, that she didn't notice how a spasm of sorrow, and shame flitted across his face, as he set the jug of hot chocolate on the table by the fireplace. They spent the next couple of hours chatting and playing chess, while the fire glowed warmly, sending sparks dancing up the chimney. Minerva was so relieved that her doubts about Albus had vanished, that for once she didn't try to talk about Harry, and simply treasured being with Albus. At the time, it seemed to her that it was one of the happiest times, they'd had together recently, almost like things used to be.

It was only when alone the next day, that Minerva wondered why Albus had seemed a little sadder than normal, why he'd often spent long minutes, with his head bowed staring into the fire, why he'd so often seemed unusually distant and distracted. She fought to push her concerns out of her mind, tried her best to distract herself with work, told herself that she was being foolish, Albus had never given her cause to doubt him. They had no secrets from each other.

Her doubts persisted though, as she recalled how Albus had seemed unusually restless during the night, and how pale and tired he had looked in the morning. Finally after much soul searching, Minerva decided there was only one way to settle this, to put her mind at rest. She would have to go and talk to Albus about how she felt. On her way to his office, Minerva worried about whether telling him about her doubts, asking him the questions, she desperately wanted answers to, would hurt him. Several times she imagined the look of hurt, and betrayal, she would see in his eyes, and nearly turned back, nearly convinced herself that she was being foolish.

The walk to Albus' office seemed unusually long, every step seemed to cost Minerva immense effort, her chest felt tight with nerves, as though a heavy weight pressed on her. She struggled to think of ways to question him, as tactfully as possible, how did you tell the man you adored, that suddenly you doubted him ? It was only thoughts of Harry, Minerva's determination to learn the truth for his sake, that kept her going.

As Minerva entered his office, Albus immeditaley noticed how pale and nervous she seemed, how she quivered like a drawn bow string. "Minerva, my dear is something wrong ?" He asked, striving to keep his voice light and unconcerned, though dread lept in his heart, as he feared that her seeming recovery, from the fragility of a few days ago, had been a false one.

It was one of the few times in Minerva's life, that she was tempted to flee. Seeing his twinkling eyes, that shone with love and concern, the familliar, so adored, face, with the smile that lifted her soul each time she saw it, she was nearly convinced that all her doubts and fears were foolish imaginings.

"No ...well ...I ...it's just foolish ...I'm sure I'm just being foolish ..." she stuttered, as panic rose in her, and she felt horrible for having doubted him.

"Minerva, my dear, I see that something worries you, please tell me what it is. I'm sure it isn't foolish at all." Albus said gently, the softness of his voice flowed over her, like the caress of a warm summer breeze.

Minerva stared at the floor, unable to meet Albus' eyes, her doubts about him seemed very small and silly now, she shouldn't ask, shouldn't need to ask. He'd never given her any cause, to think him dishonest or untrustworthy. It was only her certainity, that once she was alone, the doubts would return, that made her gather her courage and ask him. "Albus, is there something you are not telling me ? Some reason to leave Harry at the Dursleys that you aren't telling me about ?" Minerva's words came out in a rush, and she still kept her eyes glued to the floor, she was so ashamed of her suspcions.

As Minerva finished speaking, Albus felt the breath freeze in his lungs, as rational thought seemed to flee from his mind, for a short time. He regretted his tender words, that had encouraged her to ask the question, he'd hoped she would never ask. How was he going to answer her ? He was torn between lies and truth, which path would he take ?

_**Author's Notes**_

_**Thanks to everyone who reviews, you're all wonderful. :) Please keep the reviews coming, it's good incentive to write. :)**_

_**I wouldn't normally have a chapter end in the middle of a conversation, it's simply my attempt at a cliffhanger, one I've planned to have for a while. There are a few more cliff hangers to come, do you all like cliffhangers ? Or are they just sheer torture ? ;) Sorry about all the sadness and angst in recent chapters, I've tried to insert some lighter moments, and humour, in among the sad stuff. I can promise that once the angsty stuff is over with, there are some lovely funny moments planned, and written in rough form. :) I hope I didn't just give too much away. lol. **_

_**Things to come**_

_**Chapter 17, Will Albus tell Minerva about the prophecy or not ?**_

_**Chapter 18 Twisty, turny, angsty and a little funny in places, I hope. Could Severus have a kind heart, beneath the dark exterior ? Who is right in their opinion of Severus, Minerva or Albus ?**_

_**Chapter 19 This chapter looks like it's going to be very very long, may be split into two, but that would be possibly a little evil of me. ;) Severus needs help from Poppy and Rolanda, can they put their differences aside and work together ?**_

_**Chapter 20, I dont know what to say, without giving things away, We see an extremely angry Albus. Will he keep his temper ? Will he retain his customary calmness, when so furious ?**_


	17. Truth or Lies

Chapter 17

Albus could never say how long the silence between them lasted. It seemed to last for a dreadfull eternity to him, as the tension hung heavily in the air, and seemed to press down on him, so that he felt as though he might break. Unusually for him, he felt close to panic, what was he to do ? All of his instincts, screamed that he should answer Minerva truthfully, confess and hope she would understand. He came so close to speaking the truth, but bit the words back, before they could pass his lips. _'I must protect her, I can't risk Voldemort discovering that she knows about the prophecy.' He told himself. 'What if she can't cope with the strain of knowing about the prophecy ? It's kinder, better, if she doesn't know, she doesn't need to know.' _

Albus opened his mouth to answer Minerva, then closed it again, as self doubt surged through him. He hated the thought of deceiving Minerva, there had never been secrets between them before. Perhaps he should tell her the truth ? _'If I tell her about the prophecy, she will demand to know everything, the contents of the prophecy, it's too dangerous, too risky. If Voldemort finds out that she knows everything, she'll be in terrible danger, when he returns.' _He thought, sat in tormented silence as the minutes ticked by, torn in both directions. Finally it was love that convinced him, that he had to keep the prophecy from Minerva. _'I love her too much to risk her safety, to want to cause her pain or worry by telling her the truth.' _He decided.

Albus could hardly bring himself to look at Minerva, as he steeled himself to do what he believed was right, and for the best.

"Minerva my dear, have you ever known me to keep anything from you ..." Albus tried to comfort himself, with the thought that he wasn't really lying. He rested back in his chair, fingers intwined, looking at her perceptively, over his half moon spectacles. It was a well practised facade of calmness, that he had perfected over many years. A very effective way of soothing stressful situations, of calming the people around him, giving them reassurance in dark and difficult times. This time, the facade was brittle, difficult to maintain, he hoped desperately that Minerva wouldn't notice the tension in his fingers, the guilt in his eyes.

Minerva wasn't sure if Albus' words were meant as an answer, or a question, but felt she ought to answer him. "No, of course not ...I know you would never deliberately keep anything from me." Minerva's answer was almost whispered, as she still seemed fascinated by the floor. Her very evident embarassment only increased Albus' own feeling of guilt, and the truth surged to his lips, demanding to be spoken. He refused to let it out though, determined to protect her from risk, and terrified that worrying needlessly, about the consequences of the prophecy, would cause her to fall apart again. How fragile she'd seemed in those days, was still strongly in his mind, he was determined not to risk it happening again. Just as he was determined that Voldemort, and his deatheaters, would have no reason to torture Minerva, or harm her.

Suddenly Minerva was looking direct at him, with her intense emerald green eyes. "It's just that, I feel there's things that I don't know, questions ..."

Seeing the distress in her eyes, Albus knew that he had no other option than to say. "Then please do ask me about them, my dear, and I will do my best to put your mind at rest."

There was a few minutes of silence, as Minerva tried to gather her thoughts. To Albus they seemed to last for an awfull eternity, as he dreaded the coming questions. How much would he have to deceive her ? So far he'd only evaded the truth, that was terrible enough. Would worse come, would he have to lie to her as well ? Albus felt sick at the thought of it, felt as though he was betraying her. _'It would be cruel of me to subject her to needless worry.' _He told himself, _'To tell her of the fate that Harry might have to face ... I must protect her.' _Albus swallowed hard, and steeled himself to ignore his conscience, and do what he believed was the best thing for Minerva.

"From what you told me about the attack," Minerva's voice trembled, as she spoke these words. For a few seconds, it seemed as though she wouldn't be able to continue, finally she found the strength to go on. "You gave me the impression that he who cannot be named might have been targeting Harry, not Lily and James ... Do you think that he who cannot be named had some reason to wish to attack Harry? Could Harry have been the main target of the attack ?" Minerva asked, her eyes filling with tears, at the emotions and memories her words aroused in her.

Albus' heart wept for her, as he reached out and clasped Minerva's hands in his, hoping that his touch could comfort her. Softly he kissed Minerva on the cheeks, stroked her face with a tender hand, and wished with every fibre of his being, that she did not have to endure such dark and sorrowful times, longed for happiness for her. Albus would have let the silence go on forever if he could, but he knew she needed answers from him, he would do his best to ease her worries.

"Yes ...I do see how you might have that impression, my dear ...But what possible reason could Voldemort have to deliberately target a tiny child ...To plan an attack with a small child as the main target ..." Albus voice was faint and full of weariness, he sounded extremely tired, as he sat for a few minutes, staring intently at his fingers intwined with Minerva's. "Who can truly understand the reasons why someone as evil as Voldemort, does what he does. It is best not to think about such things, and simply do what we must to keep people safe, to stop his evil acts." Albus continued.

Glancing at Minerva, he saw that though her face was still sad, his words had been enough to reassure her. It took all Albus' willpower to force himself to ask, "Was there anything else you wanted to ask me about, my dear ? Anything else that worries you ?"

Minerva's grip on his hand tightened, as she answered, "You do not think that he who cannot be named has any reason, other than vengance, to attack Harry, when he returns ? How can you be sure that he will target Harry at all ? Won't he be far more interested in reforming his deatheaters ? What if Harry is at the Dursley's for no reason ... doesn't need to be there ...isn't in danger ...?" Minerva's voice was full of desperation and longing, "How can you be certain ...if you were wrong ...we could ...Oh Albus, are you sure that Voldemort will try to harm Harry ?" Her hand grasped his so tightly now, that it cut off the flow of blood, her face was taut too, as she clung to her self controll.

"Yes Minerva, I am sure." That at least was the truth, Albus' voice was firm and steady, as he answered her. It was a relief to speak the truth again, he hoped it would be enough, that he wouldn't have to make any more dishonest words.

"Why ?" The question flew at him like a missile, it was all he could do not to flinch. Albus felt heaviness descend on him, as he knew that he would have to lie again, would this deceit never end ? For a few minutes he fought against rising panic, as he tried to find an answer, to put Minerva's mind at rest, to convince her, without causing her needless pain or worry. Once again he was tempted to speak the truth, to confess and hope she would forgive him, would understand. His shame and guilt were growing with every untrue word, he felt almost as though he would never feel right or clean again. It was only his love, his determination to protect her, that made him keep to his decision that she must not know anything about the prophecy.

"Minerva, I have studied Voldemort extensively over the years, as you know. I was also a professor here when Tom Riddle was a student, and was one of the first to suspect him of various crimes. I kept a very close eye on him then, I believe I have a very good knowledge of what motivates Voldemort. He has a lust for power, is full of arrogance and pride ...such things go hand in hand with a vengeful nature ...more than that, he must have the respect and fear of those who follow him." Albus' voice was full of contempt and disgust for the deatheaters, "He was vanquished, all be it accidentally, by a tiny child, he must be seen to have his revenge or he will loose respect, their fear will lessen ...at least that is what Voldemort will think. That is why he will target Harry when he returns. That is why Harry must be kept safe." Albus' voice was full of sorrow, and his face was pale. Albus tried to comfort himself, with the thought that this at least was the truth, not the full truth, but not a lie. He still felt sickened by the deceit though, and could find no comfort to sooth his troubled soul.

After a few moments of silence, Albus forced himself to look into Minerva's face. He had to know if his words had been enough to convince her, to ease her worries. Albus thought he still saw questions in her eyes, a flicker of doubt that still lurked there, and knew at once it would be neccessary to say more. He longed now for the lies to end, for this to be over and done with._ 'One more lie.' _He told himself. _'Then there will be no more need for more, I can go back to being honest with her, I will make it up to her, I will never lie to her again, after this.' _

"Minerva, I do not keep anything from you, I have told you everything. I have never kept secrets from you before, and I do not keep secrets now." Albus felt his throat constrict with shame, as he spoke, fought to keep from hanging his head guiltily. It was done, he had told her a direct lie, instead of just bending or evading the truth. Surely now, her worries would vanish, he would have to live with the knowledge of what he had done, but it was worth it, to keep her safe. Albus felt as though he must be deathly pale, prayed that Minerva would not notice.

Minerva's worries had vanished at Albus' words. Now she wondered, how she could ever have doubted him, ever have suspected him, of keeping anything from her. How could she have been so foolish ? His words had convinced Minerva, that he kept no secrets from her, that her doubts were without cause. Now she just felt deeply ashamed of herself, for ever having doubted him.

Albus' perceptive glance saw the shame in Minerva's eyes, and it tore at him, with teeth that ripped his soul to shreds. In that moment, he didn't think it mattered if he lost her love, if she never forgave him. All that mattered was to remove the shame he saw in her face. Albus opened his mouth to confess, to beg her forgiveness, but just as the words were about to tumble from his lips, he recalled the reasons for his lies, and the words froze on his lips. Those reasons were still valid, his decision was made. Albus loathed his choice, could hardly bring himself to look into Minerva's face, but he was determined to keep her safe from danger, to not risk her breaking down again. If he could comfort her, make her feel better, there was no need to admit his deceit. He would only confess if he could not soothe her, could not banish her guilt.

Just as Albus was about to reach out to Minerva, and try to heal the guilt he saw in her face, Minerva took his hand in her's and whispered. "Oh Albus I'm so sorry, so so sorry ...How could I have ever doubted you ...I didn't want to hurt you ..."

Albus clearly heard the tremble in Minerva's voice, his heart bled for her, and tears burned the back of his eyes. Albus forced his eyes to twinkle merrily for her, fought to banish the sorrow and shame from his heart, prayed that she wouldn't sense the guilt in his lips, as he kissed her tenderly and said. "Minerva, my darling, I only wish you to be happy, I do not want you to worry about anything. These are dark times, it is understandable that you have worries and concerns, you were absolutely right to come to me and talk to me. I assure you my dear, I am not hurt at all, you have done nothing wrong. I am very glad that you came to me and asked me about this instead of worrying about it." As he spoke, Albus wondered if Minerva would sense the dishonesty in his words, he wasn't glad at all, he wished that she had never come to him, then he would never have had to deceive her. Immediately he had thought this, Albus was deeply ashamed of his own selfishness, told himself that it was Minerva's welfare that mattered. He should be glad that he had been able to ease her worries, even if he'd had to lie to do so.

Albus drew Minerva into a warm embrace, hid his head against her shoulder, relieved that he no longer had to worry, if she would see the guilt and sadness in his eyes. "Minerva, I love you so very much, my only wish is for you to be happy, to protect you from hurt and worries as much as I can. I would do anything for this." Those words at least were sincere, Albus thought, as he tried to ignore the voice of his conscience, that whispered, _'even lie to her ?' _

Albus felt Minerva relax in his warm embrace, knew that his words had at least banished her shame, and that he had managed to reassure her. Normally he would have shared her joy, treasured the feeling of Minerva's warmth so close to him, instead he was full of guilt and sorrow. _'All that matters is Minerva.' _He told himself, _'I only did it to protect her, it was the right choice.' _Albus was convinced of this, the right choice, the only choice, but ...it didn't feel right at all. He buried his head deeper in her shoulder, where he could feel the silky soft skin of her neck, smell her favourite perfume, of scotch heather and lavender, hoped that her softness would banish his ever growing feelings of guilt. .

After their embrace had lasted some time, Minerva remembered that she had a meeting to go to. Once Minerva had gone, there was nothing to distract Albus from the guilt that grew with each passing minute. He felt more deeply ashamed, than he had ever felt in his life before, part of him longed to run after her, to confess and beg her forgiveness. Only his determination to protect her, prevented him from doing so.

Instead Albus sat, white faced and dull eyed, staring into space. From his place above the desk, the portrait of Armando Dippet, watched his protege sadly.

"I hope your lies do not come back to haunt you Albus." Armando said, the tone of his voice clearly showing, how wrong he thought Albus' choice had been.

"You do not agree with my choice ..." Albus could hardly bare to look into Armando's eyes, and see the disappointment there.

"Honesty is always the best policy." Armando replied, disappointment and sorrow in his voice, "I thought I had taught you that."

The words were like a knife to Albus' soul, increasing the sense of shame he already felt at having deceived Minerva, leaving him feeling almost unclean in some way.

"To tell her the ...truth ... would only endanger her, I will not risk that." Albus replied. "And it would only worry her, distress her, I only wish to protect her." Albus sounded almost as though he was trying to convince himself that he was right.

"Then I can only pray that your deceit does not come to endanger your relationship with her." Armando answered softly.

Most of the other paintings, that hung on the walls, were also shaking their heads in disapproval of Albus' deceit. Only Phineus Nigellus seemed unconcerned. "Really, I don't know what all the fuss is about ..." He drawled, "Doesn't every sensible man lie to women ? It's the best way to keep them quiet."

"That is extremely chauvinistic, and ungentlemanly." One of the female portraits said indignantly.

"Yes, isn't it just." Phineus drawled, looking exceedingly pleased with himself.

"Phineus, really ...Now is not the time for your jokes." Armando snapped, his eyes still fixed on Albus, with a grave expression of deep concern in them.

"Who said I was joking ...I'm delighted that Albus has finally seen sense, and realised that it is often better to lie ..." Phineus answered.

"Enough ! I will not hear another word on this subject, now or ever again. Be silent." Albus' voice was like the crack of a whip, and there was instant silence in the room, as most of the inhabitants of the paintings, seemed frozen, as though afraid to move.

Pale faced and with blazing eyes, trembling with rage and shame, Albus got up, walked out of his office into his private chambers, and slammed the door loudly behind him. While Armando stared after him, with deep sorrow etched on his face.

Albus couldn't say how long he stood by the window of his private rooms, staring with unseeing eyes, into the ever darkening night, as guilt gnawed at his soul. It seemed that he had chosen his path, and yet the doubts still persisted. _'What have I done ?' _He asked himself endlessly. It brought him no comfort, when he answered, that he had done what he had to do, what was neccessary to protect Minerva, the only choice he could have made. He still felt terrible, could not quiet the voice that whispered, that he had chosen the wrong course.

Along with the guilt, and shame, there was fear, terror even, what if minerva was to find out that he had lied to her. How would she ever forgive him, he had risked the thing he held most precious, he had risked his relationship with Minerva. _'I had no choice, I had to protect her.' _Albus told himself, _'I will make it up to her, I'll never lie or decieve her again.' _Albus tried to ignore the unwanted questions, that asked what he would do if Minerva were to question him about his lies, if she asked him again about the things he'd said to her that day. Those questions haunted him though, what if his deceit destroyed their relationship, killed their love ?

Albus rested his head against the damp, icy cold, window pane, as the tears of self reproach fell down his face, and mingled with the moisture on the glass. One overiding thought in his mind, _'I don't deserve her, she deserves better than me.'_

**_Author's Notes_**

_**Thanks to everyone who reviews, it's really appreciated. So, please review. :)**_

_**Well, what can I say ? Albus really shouldn't have lied, he is wrong, but he does it out of love, and a wish to protect Minerva, so his intentions are good imo. I hope it makes sense why he chooses this wrong choice ? **_

**_Things to Come_**

**_Chapter 18, yayy, finally written in rough form, now I will leave it alone for a few days, and then check it. Both Albus and Minerva are affected badly by stress and doubts, divisions widen. Severus must cope with a difficult situation, and doesn't know what to do. Has a cliffhanger. _**

_**Chapter 19, Grows longer every day, can a chapter be too long ? Would anyone prefer it to be split ? Can Poppy prevent Rolanda, and Severus killing each other ? ;) **_

_**Chapter 20, depends if chapter 19 is split or not, if it is, then Poppy and Rolanda wonder if Minerva might be a bit annoyed with them for some reason. ;) If not, then words that are delivered with enough power have a great impact. **_


	18. Letting Go

Chapter 18

Over the next few days, Albus tried to put his feelings of guilt to one side. He tried to twinkle merrily for Minerva, to comfort and support her, but he couldn't completely free himself of the shame, that still ate at his soul. Increasingly he found it hard to look into her eyes, as he used to, began to fear that his decision, to not answer her questions truthfully, was harming their relationship. Even holding her in his arms, couldn't ease his guilt. When Albus kissed Minerva, or touched her skin, he was almost afraid that she would sense something different in him, might guess how he'd deceived her. At times, he was tempted to confess his deceit to her, but then Albus would remember why he'd made the choice to lie, and still determined to protect Minerva, would decide that he must keep his secret.

Their disagreements about Harry continued to worsen, and Albus became more and more worried about their effect on Minerva, he hated to see her so upset. Sometimes he felt as though she couldn't fully forgive him for sending Harry away, he couldn't blame her for this, he found it hard to forgive himself for it. At times, Albus almost gave into what he viewed as his weak side, and went and got Harry back. Then he'd feel angry with himself, for being so selfish, and even considering risking Harry's safety. Albus missed Harry terribly, but was sure that Minerva must miss him even more, his heart broke every time, he saw the sadness and longing in her eyes. He couldn't help but blame himself for Minerva's pain, longed desperately to make her feel better, and felt that he failed Minerva in some way, when they fought so often.

Albus feared that their relationship, their love, which had once been so strong, would not survive, wondered sometimes if this would be better for Minerva. Would she be more able to find happiness without him ? As guilt, stress, and self doubt ate at him, Albus' fears that Minerva's love for him was dying grew, he tried to tell himself that he was being foolish, but he couldn't help worrying if she still felt the same about him. Albus still couldn't forget how fragile she'd seemed just a short while ago, though Minerva seemed to have regained her old strength, and will, he still feared that she would break again under the strain. Normally so certain of his choices, Albus questioned himself often, tormented himself with wondering about if his decisions were right, felt torn apart by his guilt over Minerva and Harry.

Minerva worried about their relationship too, she noticed how Albus seemed distant, and often a little sad, how he no longer gazed into her eyes, as he always used to. It seemed to her, that there was something shadowed, or hidden, in him, and she began to fear that tired of all the fighting, he'd begun to love her less. _'It's not surprising,' _Minerva thought, _'I've hurt him so many times recently, lost my temper so often, but someone has to make Albus see sense. Someone has to make him change his mind about Harry. If i have to loose him in order to do that, then so be it.' _Minerva didn't want to loose Albus, but Harry needed her, she had to fight for him. Minerva was too afraid of the answers she might get, to question Albus about how he felt, instead she dreaded loosing him but, remained determined to fight to change his mind about Harry.

At times, Minerva was tempted to defy Albus' wishes, and go to check on Harry again herself, but something held her back. She wasn't sure herself, what it was that prevented her from going, whether it was the memory of Albus' fury last time, or that she was unaccustomed to go against his will on such serious matters. _'I can always go check on Harry myself, if I can't persuade him.' _She told herself, _'I'll keep trying to change his mind for now. It'll be easier, better, if I have his support in this.' _

The insecuritys and stresses were affecting them both badly, even Albus sometimes lost his customary calmness, and became irritable, or snapped at Minerva during arguments. This only added to his guilt, and his feeling that perhaps Minerva would be happier without him. Then he told himself, he was a fool, and pushed his doubts and fears aside, reached out to her, and tried to seem like his old merry self, even though he felt weighed down by cares and worries.

The other members of staff couldn't help but notice, how often Minerva and Albus disagreed, and it almost seemed that the whole of Hogwarts, was affected by the tension between them. As Albus and Minerva's problems worsened, so they became a subject for debate and gossip among the staff. Severus Snape in particular, was scathing in his comments about their behaviour. "They're more trouble than all my slytherins put together," He growled, "They're acting like a pair of five year olds, someone ought to bang their heads together."

"I'll bang Your head Into something in a minute, if you don't show a bit more sympathy and understanding !" Poppy snapped, glaring at Severus threateningly.

Severus stared down his nose at Poppy, for a couple of minutes, as though she were something particularly odious and unpleasant, then snorted in disgust, and swept off to his dungeons, well away from such nonsence.

One morning in late November, Albus and Minerva were talking about Harry again. As usual they had both tried to remain calm, but as the tension had increased, it seemed that once again another fight was imminent.

"Albus, you must go and check on Harry, or permit me to go, I am convinced they are ill treating him." Minerva's voice was full of fire and determination.

"We have no proof that they are ill treating him ..." Albus tried to keep his voice calm, despite his increasing stress.

"Only because I wasn't there long enough last time, and you're to stubborn to let me go again !" Minerva snapped, her eyes blazing.

"You should not have gone there at all, you knew the risks, it was foolish ..." Albus spoke without thinking, he'd endured a sleepless night, worrying about Minerva, and was feeling particularly irritable.

"Damm the risks !" Minerva yelled at Albus, as tears of rage lept to her eyes, and threatened to fall.

"Minerva, that is not ..." Albus started to say warningly, as a hint of anger burned in his eyes for a second. Then he noticed the moisture in Minerva's eyes, and instantly his expression softened. "Minerva please be calm, I am sorry for such an insensitive answer, please let's not fight again." he said gently.

Reaching out, Albus took Minerva's hand in his, felt her tense as though she might pull away, and then her hand surrendered to his grasp, and rested there. For a few precious minutes, there was peace between them, as they sat fingers intwined. Albus could feel how Minerva's hand trembled in his, sensed the tension that vibrated through her body, and it filled him with worry.

"Albus, you are too inclined to give trust to those who don't deserve it, people like the Dursleys for instance." Minerva spoke through gritted teeth, fury evident in her voice, "You trust everyone ...even someone like Snape."

"Indeed I do, I trust Severus with my life." Albus replied firmly.

"Then you will doubtless end up dead, with a knife sticking out of your back !" Minerva's voice was full of contempt, ever since Severus Snape gave up being a death eater, three years previously, she had been suspicious of him, in her opinion once a death eater, always a death eater. Many of the other staff members had shared her views, only Albus had given Severus support and trust, had believed him when he claimed to be sickened by Voldemort's evil acts.

"That is hardly fair, my dear." Albus answered as gently as he could, tried to supress the uncharacteristic flash of irritation he felt.

"Only you would trust someone like Snape, with his past, his history." Minerva snapped.

"Precisely, my dear." Albus said softly, "Someone has to trust him, everyone deserves a second chance."

Minerva glared at Albus, with a fiercesome glint in her emerald eyes, her fists clenched in balls of fury, "I do not agree, I don't want anyone having even one chance to ill treat Harry, let alone a second one. Only a fool trusts people like those blasted Dursleys."

Again Albus felt a flash of irritation, stronger this time, bit back the impatient response he was tempted to make. Instead he sat in silence trying to regain his composure.

"This is about family, you do not just abandon family, as you have done." Minerva continued her eyes blazing with green fire, she was so angry she was almost shouting.

"Harry is not our family ..." Albus snapped without thinking. Horrified he saw Minerva's face turn deadly white, as though she had been struck, by a mortal blow. If Albus could have dragged his words out of the air, and made them unsaid, he would have done so, he hadn't meant them, had only wished to say that Harry was not their blood relative. How could he have been so clumsy, so tactless ?

Before Albus could move or speak, Minerva had turned and left the room. For a moment, Albus stood stunned, the colour draining from his face, then he raced to the door, lept down the moving spiral staircase after her. "Minerva please forgive me please ..." Explanations, reassurance flew to his mouth, ready to be spoken, but froze unspoken, at the look on Minerva's face as she turned to face him.

"Any relationship or friendship we had is over. I will neither forgive or forget your words." Minerva's gaze was cold like ice, as though he were a stranger, someone who was meaningless to her.

Minerva turned on her heel, and swept down the corridor, her back rigid with fury, all Albus could do was stand, and watch her walk away from him. Minerva could feel his desperate gaze on her, but she was too angry, too hurt, to turn back and forgive him.

Albus knew Minerva meant her words, and it was that which turned his legs to stone, and froze the blood in his veins, as he faced the knowledge that he had lost her. Albus stood, as though frozen to the spot, he wanted desperately to run after Minerva, to beg her to forgive his unkind thoughtless words, but his legs utterly refused to obey his commands to move. All he could do was stand, and watch her walk out of his life.

Albus did not know how long he stood there staring after Minerva, staring at the empty space where she had been, as his world collapsed in ruins around him, and he faced darkness and loneliness. Finally his legs couldn't support his weight any more, and he sank trembling to the floor, sat against the cold harsh stone, with his head sunk in his hands, and his heart wept with tears that didn't reach his eyes.

It was Severus Snape that found the headmaster, still sitting on the floor, head in his hands, more than half an hour later. Severus was astonished, to see Dumbledore sitting huddled at the bottom of the staircase, Dumbledore looked so weak, so broken, nothing like the normal strong powerful Dumbledore. If it had been anyone else, other than Albus Dumbledore, he would have turned on his heel and left them to suffer, but Dumbledore had taken him in. He'd given Severus a second chance, when no one else would have, he'd trusted Severus, when most would have doubted him, stood by him, even loved him as a father loves a son. Much as he loathed and detested emotional scenes like this, Severus couldn't bring himself to walk away now. Instead he felt an unfamilliar feeling stir deep in his inner being, where the best part of him was normally kept well hidden, he wanted to help Albus, as Albus had helped him.

Severus looked at Albus in despair, he had no idea what to do or say, was no good at dealing with things like this. Slowly, hesistantly, Severus reached out a palid black clad hand to comfort Albus, then withdrew it again, almost ashamed of his instinctive action. The dark figure of the potions master stood for a few seconds, unsure what to do next, finally he cleared his throat, in what he hoped seemed a casual manner, hoping that Albus would realise he was there. When Albus failed to even react to his presence, Severus' despair deepened. What was he to do ?

Severus wasn't used to feeling compassion for others, to wanting to help or comfort them. If it had been anyone else, sitting there looking so heart broken, he would have sneered at them for being weak. A habitual response, which protected him from the emotional scenes, he despised so much. Severus was fond of Dumbledore though, felt that he owed Albus a debt of gratitude. In the three years since he'd told Albus that he didn't want to be a deatheater anymore, Severus had learned that Albus Dumbledore was a man you could rely on, someone who would stand by you, even when all others turned away from you. Severus would never have admitted it, not even to himself, but deep in his heart, he saw Albus as a father, loved him as a father.

After a few more minutes of silent misery, spent staring down at Albus, Severus decided he had to speak, say something, anything. "Albus ? " he queried, "Albus, what's wrong ?"

At first, Severus feared that Albus wouldn't answer, felt panic rise in him, as he wondred what he could do next. Finally Albus lifted his head, and looked at Severus with despairing eyes. "I've lost her ..." He whispered, in a broken voice.

Severus stifled a groan with difficulty, apparently Albus and Minerva had had yet another fight, and now Albus was over-reacting, pathetic, this was what happened if you indulged in nonsence like romance. Severus just managed to prevent his lip curling in contempt, then his sharp gaze noticed how deathly pale Albus looked, how unshed tears shimmered in his eyes, and once again, he felt a surge of compassion in his heart.

"So you're just going to sit here feeling sorry for yourself, are you ? Why don't you go and fight for her ?" Severus snapped, he'd decided that the best way to help, was to try and snap Albus out of it, intstead of giving him sympathy.

"You don't understand, she said she'd never forgive me ..." Albus whispered mournfully, his voice trembling.

"Albus, how many times have you told me, that words are just words, it's what's in someone's heart that matters." Severus' words had come out of desperation, and now he'd said them, he couldn't quite believe that he had. Severus' mouth fell open, in an uncharacteristic expression of shock. For a moment, he almost wondered if he was turning into Albus Dumbledore. '_I'll be addicted to lemon drops next.' _He thought, in horror.

Albus seemed equally surprised, as he gaped at Severus in stunned silence. "So ... you were listening after all." Albus finally said softly.

Just as Severus was wondering how to answer, Poppy appeared at the end of the passage, and made her way rapidly towards them. As she drew closer, it became clear that she was extremely upset over something, her hair was disheveled and her cheeks were red with anger.

"Albus Dumbledore, what did you just say to Minerva ?" Poppy demanded, glaring at Albus, with a look that almost rivalled Minerva's most fiercesome glare. "Do you know how upset she is ! You ought to be ashamed of yourself ! What did you say to her ?" Poppy continued.

For a second, Albus seemed utterly lost for words, as he stared at Poppy in astonishment. "I ...I ...I didn't mean it ..." Albus stuttered eventually.

"Then go and tell her that, Not Me." Poppy snapped angrily, giving Albus her best 'do what you're told in my hospital wing' look.

Albus' only response was stunned silence, as he gaped at Poppy, as though he wasn't used to being ordered around in his own school.

"NOW !!" Poppy and Severus bellowed together, then turned to look at each other in surprise.

As Albus got to his feet obediently, he looked almost as though, he couldnt quite believe what had just happened, the way his staff had just spoken to him. Poppy and Severus watched as Albus walked down the passage towards Minerva's rooms, as he turned the corner, they seemed satisfied that their words had had the desired effect, and relaxed a little.

"If you tell ..." Severus snarled, glowering at Poppy darkly.

"Don't worry, Severus, your secret's safe with me." Poppy said firmly, as she smiled kindly, at the rather embarrassed potions master, then couldn't resist adding. "It seems Albus was right about you after all, you might not like it, but you have a good heart hidden beneath that dark exterior."

"Sentimental nonsense, I'm just sick of them fighting, thats all." Severus snapped, and stalked off down the passage, as a half smile flitted across his face for a second.

Still slightly dazed, from Poppy and Severus shouting at him, Albus entered Minerva's chambers, without even bothering to knock first. Minerva was sitting at the window, her back towards him. Minerva's hair was half out of her customary bun, it fell in dark waves down her back. Albus' heart missed a beat, she looked so beautifull, and so sad, so hurt. For a moment, he stood unsure of what to do, or say, gazing at her, feeling terrible for having caused her such pain. He almost wondered if she would be happier without him, without all the fighting and disagreements. All Albus wanted to do, was draw her into his arms, and hold her there forever, keep her safe, more and more though he doubted if he could do this. Albus longed for the arguments to stop, and as he stood staring at Minerva sadly, his worries about their effect on her only increased. He could clearly see how wounded, how angry she was, and he blamed himself for his clumsy words, wondered for a moment if he should let her go. Albus couldn't resist her though, Minerva was everything he desired. He knew if he touched her hair, it would feel like silk as it always did, would entrance his nose with the aroma of heather and lavender, like heathland after summer rain. Albus was irrisistably drawn to Minerva, captured by her loveliness, he couldn't let her go.

Albus took a tentative step into the room, drew closer to Minerva. "Minerva ...I ...I didn't mean it ..." He whispered miserably, "Minerva please ...you must know I'd never mean something like that ...sending Harry away was the hardest thing I ever had to do, I love him so much, I miss him ...I ..." Albus stopped speaking for a few moments, as he fought for self controll. Suddenly he was aware of Minerva's shoulders trembling, heard her sobbing softly.

In two steps, he was across the room, and by her side, folding her quivering form in a tender embrace. "Minerva please don't upset yourself, please ...I'm so so sorry ...of course Harry is family, I just meant ...I was just trying to say ..." Suddenly words didn't seem enough to Albus, as he bent and kissed her tenderly, his lips brushing her cheeks gently, as his hand wiped the tears from Minerva's face.

Minerva rested her head against his shoulder, as though exhausted, her raven hair mingling with his silver beard. Albus could feel the tension vibrating within her, as he caressed her hair with a tender touch, and his lips drifted to brush her neck, then kissed her hair softly. Albus felt silk against his mouth, but it gave him no joy, how could it when she was so sad, so rigid, in his arms.

Albus, what's happening to us ?" Minerva asked sadly, "I'm so sick of it, the fights, it never used to be like this ...I just want it to stop." Albus could hear how her voice shook, could hear the desperation in Minerva's words. She was so unlike her normal self, he was terrified by how fragile she seemed.

"As do I, my darling." Albus answered sadly, as he wondered what was happening to them, and if things would ever be the same again. His arms closed even tighter around Minerva, as though he would keep her there forever, as he wondered if the only answer was to let her go. The thought made him hold her even closer, _'I can't let her go.' _He thought, '_Love has to be enough, we can survive this ...' _Then felt the surge of terror in his inner core, as he wondred if her love for him was dying, was that what she meant when she'd said she wanted it to stop. Then he berated himself, for being so foolish, for doubting her, let his head drop against her hair, drinking in the aroma of her, letting her warmth and softness wash over him.

For several minutes Albus held Minerva, hoped that his embrace could sooth her, wished with all his heart that she could draw strength from him, and heal her pain. As the minutes drifted by, Albus felt that he had to speak, must try to explain what he'd meant. "Minerva ..." he said hesitantly, "I was only trying to say that Harry is not our blood relative, that he needs the blood protection, I didn't mean that he isn't family. I love Harry as though he were my own grandson, he is family in everything except blood. I made clumsy words, my darling, I'm so sorry for them ..." Albus seemed almost lost for words.

Minerva knew he spoke the truth, she knew him so well, knew that in some way he saw all the staff, and students of Hogwarts as family. Albus tried to love and care for everyone, whether they were related or not, and he had always adored Harry, from the first moment he saw him as a tiny baby. She might not agree with his choices about Harry, but Albus did love Harry as a grandson, Minerva was certain of this.

As he finished speaking, Albus felt her relax slightly in his arms, felt Minerva's body soften against him. He still sensed tension remaining in her though, as he bent to kiss her softly, and although his worries had lessened slightly, they still remained. A cool autumnal breeze wafted in through the part open window, carrying the scent of fir trees and mountains, as Albus and Minerva held each other, and the minutes slipped by, till morning became afternoon.

Minerva lifted her head from his soft strong shoulder, almost reluctantly, and said "Albus ? Don't you have a meeting in a while ?"

Albus sighed, he did indeed have a meeting, one he really shouldn't miss, but he didn't want to leave Minerva when he was still so worried about her. "I won't go, my dear ..." Albus paused to kiss Minerva tenderly, "I don't want to leave you alone, when you are still so distressed."

"Albus, I will be fine. " Minerva said firmly, tried to ignore the fact that she didn't really feel fine at all. This meeting was important, they must be professional about things, they had a duty to Hogwarts. "You cannot just not go, I am perfectly all right."

Minerva could feel Albus' gaze intently on her, as his fingers touched her skin softly. She hid her face among his silvery beard, hoping that he wouldn't sense how bad she truly felt, how much she wanted him to stay.

"Are you sure ?" Albus asked softly, despite her attempts to hide her feelings from him, he knew that she was not fine, and he longed to stay, and try to comfort her, but he feared and dreaded an argument, thought it better if he did as she wished.

"Yes. I am sure." Minerva tried to make her voice sound as certain as possible, "Albus you are headmaster, you cannot neglect your duties, now go, or you will be late."

"Very well, my dear." Albus answered sadly, "However I shall be as quick as possible, and will come to you immediately the meeting is over."

Albus kissed her lips softly, then murmurmed a gentle farewell, and with worry in his eyes, left Minerva alone, though he longed to stay. It was at times like this that he almost wished he wasn't headmaster, and that he could devote all his time to Minerva, and making her happy.

Albus found it almost impossible to focus on the meeting, words seemed like a meaningless drone to him, as his mind and heart was full of worries and concerns over Minerva. Several times, one of the other people present would ask if he had heard what was said, and albus would try to drag his attention back to the discussion, but within a couple of minutes, his mind would be once more on their relationship, worrying, wondering.

He was desperate to get back to Minerva, was full of concern about how she was, he wished the meeting over and done with constantly, simply couldnt bring himself to care about it. Normally so careful to pay attention to everything that happened on such dull occasions, he let the talk drift over his head and thought only of Minerva. He remembered how she'd trembled against him, wondered if the constant fights were too much for her, feared that she might break again. No matter how hard they tried they didn't seem able to end the fights, and he began to think the unthinkable, would they be better off apart ? The thought horrified him, filled him with dread, but what of Minerva ? Would it better for her, easier ? Maybe she had a better chance to find happiness without him. Then he felt a surge of love and tenderness, as he always did when he thought of her, and knew he could never let her go. Longed with every part of him to go to her at once, and hold her in his arms, soothe her, comfort her. _'love can overcome all problems.' _He told himself, _'With enough love everything will be fine.' _

Yet another question interrupted Albus' thoughts, he made a vague uncaring response, barely registered the hint of irritation, in the person he'd just answered, and was swept away again by fears and worries. We have enough love to overcome anything together he thought, tried to ignore the agonising stab of doubt, that whispered maybe her love was dying, maybe that's what she'd meant, when she said she just wanted it to stop. _'I'm being ridiculous.' _He told himself. _'Our love is too strong to die.' _ He couldn't free himself of the fear that it might die, though. It seemed so long ago, that they'd laughed together as they used to, looked into each other's eyes, it seemed as though everything that had kept them together, and wonderfully happy, for so long was gone, as if tears had replaced joy. Albus spent the rest of the meeting, torn between worrying about whether all the fights, and pressures, might make Minerva stop loving him, and longing to go to her, and hold her tight.

Once the meeting was over, Albus rose, and without even bothering to bid farewell to the others present, left the room rapidly, desperate to return to Minerva.

Albus entered Minerva's rooms, to find her hunched on the window seat, it was obvious to him, that she had spent the entire time, since he left her, crying, and it broke his heart to see her so upset. As he stepped towards her, to comfort her, Minerva looked up at him. Her face was pale, her eyes were red and lacking their normal spark of life. In that moment she seemed so fragile to him, as he noticed how her body shook from exhaustion and distress.

"I'm so tired of fighting all the time, I can't take it any more, it's destroying us ...I just want it to stop." Minerva sobbed, her breath coming in great gasps, her whole body trembling with stress.

Albus felt a surge of terror as he heard her words, was she trying to tell him something ? Had his worst nightmare come true, did she want to end it, had her love died ? Next second his heart and soul filled with compassion for her, as he gazed at Minerva in abject misery. He could hardly bare to see her in such distress, it was indeed destroying them, and worse, it was destroying his beloved Minerva, ripping her apart, tearing her to shreds. Something must be done, she couldn't go on like this, he must stop it. In those moments of abject desperation, he could only see one way to end her suffering, to stop her torment, and that was to end their relationship.

Albus still needed Minerva desperately, didn't want to face life without her, still loved her, as he always would, but they'd tried and it wasn't working. No matter what they did, they couldn't stop the fights, things just got worse and worse. '_There has to be another way,' _He thought desperately, '_There has to be ... I can't live without her ...'_ Again he took a step towards Minerva, was on the verge of reaching out to her, embracing her, kissing her, as his every instinct urged him to do, then he stopped himself. _'I must do what's best for her.' _He told himself, tried to ignore the desperate pleas from his heart, '_I should at least give her the chance to be free of me, free of the fights. I can't let her be destroyed like this. What I feel doesn't matter, only Minerva matters.' _

That was when Albus made a decision that would haunt him for the rest of his life, a decision he would never forgive himself for, that was when he decided to let Minerva go, to end the relationship. No matter what it cost him, he must end the relationship, give her a chance to find happiness without him.

"Then perhaps it's time we ended it ..." Albus said after a few minutes of silent despair, he couldn't bring himself to say more, fearing that his resolve must fail him, and that he would embrace her, and try to kiss her tears away, as he longed to do.

There was something grim and sorrowful in Albus' tone, that froze Minerva's heart with a sense of dread, causing her sobs to instantly cease. A sense of doom seemed to fill the room, and somehow she sensed what was coming next. _'So, here it comes ...I've driven him away ...' _She thought,_ 'I knew he'd get tired of all the arguments eventually. I knew he'd stop loving me.' _Minerva felt her heart lurch inside her, and for a moment, she almost gave into the fear that held her in it's grip, as she imagined life without Albus. She was determined not to let him know how she felt though, if he wished to end it, then she would let him go with dignity, doubtless he would be happier without her anyway.

It took all Minerva's courage, as she drew herself up to her full height, tried, and failed to meet his eyes, but made a valiant pretense of looking direct at him, and asked, "What exactly are you trying to say ?" Minerva forced her voice to sound unconcerned, even cold, as she spoke.

Albus heard the coldness in her voice, and it convinced him that her love for him was indeed dying. _It's better that I end it, rather than let her do it, better to make things easy for her. _He told himself, as he wished that Minerva would stop staring at him, with those beautifull emerald green eyes of hers, eyes he could loose himself in, if he weakened. '_Sometimes, when you love someone, you have to let them go,' _He thought, _'I must let her go.' _Albus steeled himself to speak calmly, almost dispassionately, formed his face into a blank mask, and answered. "I think we both know what I mean, Minerva. We can't go on like this ...it's better this way ...better that we part." Just in time, Albus stopped himself from saying 'I'm destroying you,' and changed it to, "We're destroying each other." As Albus finished speaking, he felt as though his life had ended, as though all the brightness had gone from it, as an icy numbness seemed to grip his soul, in a deathlike grasp.

There was only one possible meaning of Albus' words, and Minerva felt her world crash around her in ruins, she had driven away the only man she'd ever loved. '_All I have left now is dignity, my pride, I won't permit him to see how hurt I am,' _She thought, drew just enough strength from the thought, to retain the last remnants of her strength and answer, in a rock hard voice, that was devoid of all warmth. "I agree." There was the briefest of pauses, before Minerva continued, "I shall of course resign ...with immediate effect."

Albus stifled a gasp of dismay, fought to keep breathing, as the room seemed to spin around him for a second. He hadn't expected this. He felt panic rise in him, he'd never see her again, his life would be empty without her. She'd been there so long, a part of him, a part of Hogwarts, nothing would be the same without Minerva to share it with. _'I must let her go, it'll be easier on her this way' _He told himself, as he battled the urge to fall on his knees, and beg her to love him as she used to. Minerva's words had convinced him, that his fears had indeed been correct, her love for him had lessened, she would probably have ended it soon herself anyway. He would make it easy on her, let her go with good grace, it was the least he could do.

"If that is your wish." was all Albus could bring himself to say, then fearing to break down in front of her, he turned and left the room, shutting the door firmly behind him.

_**Author's Notes**_

_**Thanks to everyone who reviews, you're all wonderful, thanks too to those who read this story, please review, just dont throw things at me. ;)**_

_**Well this chapter caused me more soul searching than any other so far, for probably obvious reasons, but this needs to happen for the story to progress on. Even though I hated to do it. I very nearly didn't have them break up, but anyway hopefully all will become clear later. Since it's a major cliffhanger, the next update will be fast, probably wednesday or thursday, sorry for any errors I'm sleepy. **_

_**Things to Come**_

_**Chapter 19, Severus, Rolanda, and Poppy each have their own reasons to want Minerva and Albus to get back together. Each of them is determined to help Albus and Minerva to reunite, Will they manage to come up with a plan ? And, if they do, will the plan work ? **_

_**Chapters after this aren't written and I am too sleepy to think of anything to say, also I don't want to give away what happens next. **_


	19. Kisses

Chapter 19

As Albus walked away from Minerva's rooms, he felt as though he walked through a dream world, or some horrible nightmare, nothing seemed real to him. With every step he took he wanted desperately to turn, and go back to Minerva, to fall on his knees and beg her forgiveness and understanding, but instead he kept walking. He barely heard when people spoke to him, didn't even bother to answer or acknowledge them, simply kept on walking, his face devoid of colour, his eyes dead and hollow. Finally, though he scarecely knew how he came there, he reached the sanctuary of his rooms. Once he had closed the door behind him, Albus leaned against the wall, almost as though he needed it's support to keep him upright, all that he could think was _'What have I done ?'_

Albus had no idea how long he stood like that, facing the thought of life without Minerva. He didn't hear when a concerned Armando Dippet asked him what was wrong, he was oblivious to everything, stunned and dazed by what he had done. At last Albus regained his senses a little, and trembling, made his way to an armchair by the fireplace, sank into it, and stared with unseeing eyes into the dying embers of the fire.

"Albus ...Albus ?" A very concerned Armando queried, "What ever is wrong my dear boy ?"

Slowly Albus raised his head, looked at his mentor with grief stricken eyes, and whispered softly, "It is over."

"What is over ?" A now desperately worried Armando asked, half dreading the answer he might receive.

There was silence for a couple of minutes, as Albus struggled to form the words, then he whispered. "Minerva and I ...it is over, finished ...I ...I ended the relationship." As he finished speaking, Albus felt the tears surge against his eye lids, but somehow they refused to flow.

For a moment there was a stunned silence, then Armando gasped. "What ? Why ? Why would you do such a thing ?"

"I ...I thought it would be easier for her, that she would be happier without me. The fights were destroying her ...I think she was almost relieved when I ended it ... doubtless she would have ended things soon herself anyway." Albus' voice came close to breaking, as he said this, and his hands twitched in pain, as he continued softly. "I ...I thought I would make things easy for her, save her any further pain, I ...I ...it was better that I do it, than let her have to." As he finished speaking, Albus' head dropped into his hands, and the tears began to fall, flowing between his pale fingers like rivers of salt.

"Oh my dear boy ...my dear dear boy ..." was all Armando could say.

That night instead of going to bed, Albus walked the passages of the castle, drawn almost against his will, to a well hidden room on the fifth floor. The half lit room was dominated by a huge, ornately carved mirror, with the words 'Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi' inscribed on it's frame. As Albus gazed into the mirror, he saw what he had expected to see. Minerva smiled happily at him, her jet black hair cascading down her back in glorious waves, emerald eyes full of joy, as she bent her head to kiss the child she cradled in her arms. Harry gurgled sleepily, then reached up, to tug gently on the silvery beard of the tall wizard, who stood with his arm around Minerva, gazing down at her and Harry, with adoration in his eyes.

For a time, Albus stood and looked at his heart's desire, reflected in the Mirror of Erised. His blue eyes tortured, and full of sorrow, for a dream he knew now would never come true. It seemed as though the mirror had captured him in it's spell, as Albus reached out his hand, as though to caress Minerva's reflection, then sighed heavily, and withdrew his hand. "Farewell my love." He whispered, then turned and left the room behind him, knowing he would never go there again.

In her rooms, Minerva flung her possesions into trunks and cases. All she wanted to do was get away from Hogwarts, and Albus, as quickly as possible. For once she didn't care about folding her clothes neatly, or packing things away tidely. Suddenly, she seemed to become aware of the mess, and chaos, that surrounded her, gazed at it in despair. Was this all her life was now ? Books, and clothes, and emptiness ?

Minerva's lips set in a thin line, against her pale face, _'I knew he'd stop loving me, I expected it, I was ready. I can cope without him.' _She told herself, tried to ignore the way her heart was breaking apart inside her. _'It's not surprising that he got fed up with all the fights. Not surprising that he stopped loving me.' _Minerva fought back the tears, that threatened to fall, she'd thought they would be together forever, in her heart of hearts she'd never truly expected this. Minerva forced herself to stop trembling, to focus on the routine of packing, but how could she focus on something so mundane, and meaningless, when every object in the room was a reminder of Albus. Even the walls of her chambers, the faint aroma of lemon drops in the air, tormented her with memorys of him. The castle seemed to be imbued with the essence of Albus, till there was no escape. There would be no healing her broken heart, untill she had left Hogwarts, never to return.

All Minerva knew, was that she never wanted to see Albus ever again. If she had been able to, she would have cut every memory of him, out of her, and thrown them away. He had been there in so much of her life, so many years. Now those years seemed like wasted years to Minerva, she almost resented the time lost, on this man, who had claimed to love her, and then abandoned her. She wished with all her heart, and soul, that she had never met Albus Dumbledore, then he would never have been able to break her heart.

Minerva had already told Poppy what had happened, and of her determination to leave Hogwarts within a day or two. Poppy's face had paled in shock at the news, then she'd moved to embrace Minerva, but Minerva had rejected all her attempts at comfort, and insisted that she simply wanted to be left alone. Poppy had left Minerva's rooms, still scarcely able to believe what she'd heard. The more she thought about it, the more she was utterly convinced, that Albus still loved and needed Minerva. For a while, Poppy toyed with the idea of going to talk to Albus, it was only Minerva's insistence, that she didn't want Poppy to talk to Albus, and that Poppy shouldn't interfere, that prevented her from doing so.

Finally Poppy made her way to the staff room, hoping that her friend Rolanda Hooch would be there, perhaps she would have some idea what to do. Poppy was determined of one thing, Albus and Minerva were meant for each other, somehow she was going to find a way, to get them back together again.

Poppy wasn't the only one who was determined, to help Minerva and Albus to reunite. Severus had just finished speaking with Albus, he'd gone to see him about his potions class, but had soon realised that something was terribly wrong. Albus had told him everything, and seeing the sorrow and loss on Albus' face, Severus had once again, felt the unfamilliar stirrings of compassion, and tenderness, deep within him. Now, Severus paced his dungeons, hands clasped behind his back, intent on using all his guile, and cunning, to come up with a plan.

It was Dumbledore who had brought Severus back to the light, three years ago. Like many of his fellow Slytherins, Severus had joined the Deatheaters, within a couple of years of leaving Hogwarts. At first he'd enjoyed the feeling of being part of a group at last. He finally felt as though he belonged somewhere, and there'd been the added temptation of power, and the chance to practise the dark arts, that had always fascinated him. At last, it seemed as though his skill in the dark arts was fully appreciated.

It was only as the war became more fiercesome, and the mindless torture and killing increased, that doubts began to grow. At first, Severus managed to ignore the faint whispers of his conscience, as he witnessed act, after act, of senseless barbaric cruelty. Increasingly he was unwilling to participate fully, had to fight to close his ears, to the agonising screams of the victims, as he told himself that this was war. It was neccessary, they deserved it. If they were against the dark lord, then they deserved what they got. Why must they resist the inevitable ?

Severus hid his doubts well, none of the other Deatheaters suspected him. He'd always been a master of deceit. There had only been one man, who had been able to look at him, and see the truth, and that was his old headmaster, Albus Dumbledore.

One day, three years ago, there'd been yet another mindless attack by Deatheaters, on Muggleborns. When they heard of the attack, members of the Order of the Phoenix had rushed to help. All the other Deatheaters had fled, closely pursued by Alastor Moody, and other members of the Order. For some reason, he never fully understood, Severus had remained, standing as though unable to move, staring at the tormented bodies of the victims.

Next thing he knew, there had been a loud pop, and Albus Dumbledore had appeared, eyes blazing with cold fury, power emanating from him in waves, that seemed to make the air vibrate around him. Instantly, Severus had pointed his wand directly at Dumbledore, for a few seconds the two men had faced each other, wands aimed at one another. Severus could feel Albus' eyes intently on him, seeming to see deep inside him, and then, Dumbledore had done something unbelievable, something which shocked Severus to his core. Dumbledore had lowered his wand, to leave himself open and defenceless, gazed calmly into Severus' dark eyes, and said, "I don't believe this is what you truly want, Severus. It isn't too late, my boy, it's never too late, to find your true path. You're better than this, Severus. You know you've made a mistake, I see it in you. It's time to turn away from this, and come back to the light. I'll help you."

Dumbledore had reached out a hand to Severus, as he finished speaking. Severus felt almost as though he was trying to draw him back to the light, and away from darkness, he hadn't known how to react, had felt torn.

"You have so much potential Severus. Don't misuse it in this way, I beg you." Albus said softly, his blue eyes boring into Severus' soul. "I don't believe you truly wish to serve a master who does such evil. I see better than that in you ...I always have." Only Albus Dumbledore could have said those words. It was always Dumbledore, more than anyone else, who'd seen the good, that was buried deep inside Severus Snape.

For several minutes, Severus stood stunned by the love, and courage, it had taken to do this, to drop your defences to save another. Then he had turned, and walked away, unable to trust himself, or Dumbledore, enough to take the chance he'd been offered. He had seen the sorrow in his old headmasters face, as he turned away from him, turned back to darkness. Severus had half expected Dumbledore to fire a jinx at him, to attack him, after all he was a deatheater, Dumbldore couldnt just let him leave, but Dumbledore had done just that.

Severus found that he couldn't get Dumbledore's words out of his mind, couldn't free himself of the sorrowful look on his old headmaster's face, when he'd turned away from him. Finally, Severus made the hardest choice he'd ever had to make, and went to see Albus Dumbledore, desperately hoping that it wasn't too late. He'd arrived pale faced, in the dark of the night, half expecting to find only condemnation and anger, instead he'd found forgiveness.

Albus had drawn him into the room, spoken to him kindly and gently, they had talked long into the night. It was Albus' attempts to take the blame, for Severus becoming a deatheater, on his own shoulders, that moved Severus most. He knew it wasn't true, knew the fault was his, but it still touched him, when Albus tried to apologise, for having failed him during his school days, or condemed himself for having been a bad headmaster. Severus could see the guilt, and sorrow in Albus' eyes, It was this, that made Severus Snape become Dumbledore's man, through and through.

Slowly the bond between them grew. It was Albus that Severus talked to, when he was tempted by the dark arts, Albus who was always there, with words of wisdom, or a strong shoulder to lean on, and though Severus could barely admit it, even to himself, he came to love Albus as a father.

Only Albus Dumbledore, could have seen the seed of goodness, that was buried deep in Severus' soul. Severus knew what the others thought of him, but it was only Albus' opinion that mattered to him. He almost took pride, or delight, in the dark facade he presented to the world, it amused him at times, only Albus knew the true Severus Snape.

Now it was time to repay Albus for his love and trust. To give him the happiness he deserved. Severus knew the only way Albus could be happy, was if he had Minerva back, so Severus paced, and thought, strove to come up with a plan.

Later that night, Poppy and Rolanda were sitting in the staff room. Poppy had just finished telling Rolanda everything, now they were trying desperately to come up with a plan, any plan. So far, even after more than an hour, they had no ideas whatsoever.

"We have to get them back together, they need each other" Poppy said, for the umpteenth time.

"Yes ... but how ?" Rolanda sighed, running her hands through her spikey hair.

"I don't know." Poppy replied. "We have to come up with an idea fast though, Minerva will be gone in a day or two."

There was silence for several minutes, broken only by the sound of Rolanda's foot tapping on the floor, as they both tried to think of a plan.

"We have to get them back together somehow," Poppy muttered despairingly.

"You already said that !" Rolanda snapped irately.

"Sorry, but I'm upset," Poppy said, looking almost as though she might burst into tears. She was very fond of Minerva, and didn't want her friend to leave Hogwarts. The thought of Minerva alone, and heartbroken, was horrible to Poppy, and she was desperate to help. _'How could two people who loved each other so much break up ?' _She wondered, _'If anyone was meant to be together forever, it was Albus and Minerva, they were made for each other. There had never been anyone else for either of them.' _

"Yes, me too." Rolanda replied, patting Poppy comfortingly on the arm. Hogwarts would certainly be a duller place if Minerva left, she thought. It wouldn't seem the same watching quidditch, without Minerva to share the excitement with. Albus and Minerva, made an adorable couple too, Rolanda got a lot of harmless amusement out of their antics, the good natured banter and arguments, like many of the hogwarts staff, she'd been saddened, by all the problems Albus and Minerva had had recently.

"We have to ..." Poppy said desperately.

"I know ! And stop saying that all the time, and start thinking, will you ! Rolanda snapped, glaring at her friend.

"I know how to get them back together." Severus interupted, in his normal slightly sneering voice, from the armchair he was sprawled in. He'd been listening intently for some minutes now, he needed help with his own plan, and it appeared that Rolanda and Poppy were the perfect candidates.

"You ! What would you know about romance !?" Rolanda demanded bluntly.

"Shut up, let's hear his plan before we insult him." Poppy snapped.

"You will need to do considerably better than that if you wish to insult me," Severus sneered, "Romance is for fools ..."

"Then why do you want to help us ?" Rolanda asked, staring at Severus suspicously.

"Perhaps Severus has a soft heart after all ..." Poppy said, as she remembered, how he'd helped to get Albus to go and talk to Minerva, earlier that day.

"I DO NOT !" Severus sounded incredibly insulted. "I just want them back together, so that the old fool doesn't keep bothering me all the time, you've no idea how much I loathe hot chocolate and lemon drops ! Now do you want to hear my plan or not ?" Severus definitely didn't want to confess his real reason, for wanting to reunite Albus and Minerva. Rolanda, for one, would certainly never let him live it down, if she knew that Severus wanted to help, because he was fond of Albus, and hated seeing him so miserable.

"Yes." Poppy said, and glared warningly at Rolanda, before she could say anything, which might stop Severus telling them his idea. "Please tell us your plan, Severus."

"Well, she needs him, and he needs her, and the Room of Requirement gives what you need. So, they need each other, and we need them to get back together, at least I do, otherwise he'll drive me mad. So ..." Severus paused for a moment to get his breath, and then continued to speak very rapidly, "They and you and I, all need a way, a place, that will make them get back together, and all we have to do is get them in there, and we need ..."

Poppy and Rolanda had spent the last couple of minutes, gazing at each other in bewildered silence, with a slightly glazed expression on their faces, as they tried to follow what Severus was saying.

"You what ?!" They both gasped, at the same time.

"Say again ..." added Rolanda.

"Argh ..." Was all Poppy could manage.

Severus, sighed, and rolled his eyes in a condescending manner, and muttered something about, "Dumber than a class of idiotic first years ..." Under his breath.

Rolanda glared at Severus angrily, but just as she opened her mouth to speak, Poppy nudged her in the ribs, and whispered, "Shut up ...we need his help."

Rolanda clamped her lips tight shut, but continued to glare at Severus, with annoyance in her golden eyes.

"Please explain, Severus." Poppy said, "Slowly and clearly, please."

Rolanda glanced at her friend in disgust, why on earth was she suddenly being so nice to Snape ?

"My plan is to use the room of requirement to get them back together." Severus said, speaking extremely slowly, rather as though, he was talking to a class of particularly stupid students. "Do you understand so far ?" He asked needlessly.

Poppy and Rolanda both nodded.

"We need them to be trapped somewhere cold and dark, where they can't do magic, otherwise they'd be able to get out, or make it less cold and dark. Being shut in somewhere will force them to talk to each other eventually, I know Albus ...he won't be able to ignore her for long. Also If it's cold enough, then they'll have to keep each other warm, and ...well ...you know ..." Severus ground to a halt, looking rather embarrassed, then regained his normal poise, and with a sneer on his face, asked. "Do you understand, or have I lost you again ?"

Poppy was just about to say that she understood, when Rolanda spoke furiously, "Look here, Severus, we don't need you to keep asking us if we understand or not. We're not complete idiots, you know."

"Oh, I see, so you're just partial idiots then ?" Severus couldn't resist sneering.

"I am going to throttle you ..." Rolanda snarled, as she lept to her feet, and advanced threateningly on Severus.

"Try it ..." Severus growled, his hand reaching for his wand.

"STOP IT AT ONCE, BOTH OF YOU." Poppy commanded, "We don't have time for this nonsence, we have to act fast, or Minerva will be gone." Poppy's face was unusually fiercesome, and the look she gave Severus, and Rolanda, almost dared them to disobey her.

"Rolanda, Sit down, and be quiet." Poppy ordered firmly.

Rolanda was so astonished at the normally placid Poppy speaking to her in this way, that she actually obeyed.

"Now, Severus ...please go on explaining, only this time, leave out the smart alec comments." Poppy said in her most no nonsence voice, the one she normally reserved for unco-operative patients.

When Severus looked as though he was about to object, Poppy added, "Or do you want Albus bothering you all the time ?"

Severus sniffed in what he hoped was a superior manner, and then continued explaining his plan. "As I said they need to be trapped somewhere cold and dark, where they can't do any magic. Even without his wand, Albus could still do wandless magic, add to that, it would be very difficult to get his wand away from him, without him noticing. The Room of Requirement, however, can provide whatever we need to get them back together, a place where magic can't work, and they can't get out, untill they've got what they need, which is, of course each other. It will work, because we all need it to work, and the room gives what people need." Severus paused, opened his mouth to ask if they understood, and then with Poppy's gaze on him, thought better of it.

"Thank you Severus, we understand." Poppy said, "Don't we Rolanda ?"

"Yes, of course." Rolanda answered, though she still looked slightly confused.

"Are you sure it will work ?" Poppy asked.

"Naturally, I am sure." Severus answered, trying his best to sound convincing. The truth was, that this was the best idea he'd been able to come up with, and he wasn't absolutely convinced it would work.

"Right, let's get them to the Room of Requirement then ..." Rolanda said.

"Don't be ridiculous." Severus snapped, "This has to be planned properly ...there are prepartions to make first."

"What do you suggest then ?" Poppy asked.

"First I need to find and prepare the room of requirement, make sure it knows what is needed." Severus answered. "I will do that tonight, and I will need your help too, three needs are better than one."

"When ..." Poppy started to ask.

"Tomorrow ..." Severus answered.

"What ?" Poppy gasped in horror, "Why not get them there tonight ?"

"Because we must make preparations as I already said, and it will be easier to fool them in the morning, since I very much doubt that either of them will sleep tonight. Neither Albus or Minerva are easily fooled, so we are more likely to be able to trick them into the room after a sleepless night, when not fully awake." Severus said firmly, as he tried not to look too pleased with himself, he was rather enjoying himself.

"You're good at this arn't you !" Rolanda said in grudging admiration.

"Naturally ..." Severus said in a slightly self satisfied way.

Poppy, Rolanda, and Severus spent the next half hour or so putting the finishing touches to their plan, then departed to make preparations. Each one of them hoping that it would suceed.

At dawn the next morning, Poppy, Severus, and Rolanda put their plan into action. They had already agreed, that Severus should go to Albus first, and trick him into the Room of Requirement. Poppy and Rolanda were to go soon after, to Minerva, since they all felt that Minerva would be more likely to trust her two friends.

Poppy and Rolanda waited in excited anticipation, in the otherwise deserted staff room, for Severus to return from his mission. Both of them fidgeted nervously, Poppy fiddled absently with her robes, while Rolanda paced the floor, and longed to burn off her nervous energy with a vigourous game of quidditch.

"What if it doesn't work ? What if Severus can't fool Albus ?" Poppy asked anxiously.

"If anyone can fool Albus, Severus can." Rolanda said firmly, almost as though she was trying to convince herself that all would go well.

"What if we can't fool Minerva ?" Poppy asked, looking even more worried. "You know how difficult she is to fool ..."

"We WILL fool her, we will make her believe us ..." Rolanda answered, with the merest shadow of doubt in her voice.

Poppy wrung her hands together nervously, she really wasn't used to being involved in such plots and plans, and was finding it very stressfull, espeicially when she thought about what was at stake. "Perhaps we should practise some more ...rehearse ...I'm still not sure that my 'something is wrong' face is good enough ..." Poppy said, her voice trembling slightly.

Rolanda sighed, and fought back a groan, if Poppy didn't calm down she might ruin everything. They'd both stayed up late the previous night, planning how they would trick Minerva into the Room of Requirement. They'd decided to tell Minerva that something was wrong, her help was needed, and she must come with them at once. After that, they'd spent a couple of hours, rehearsing convincing, 'oh no something is wrong' faces. Rolanda had been involved in many pranks and escapades, with Minerva, during their school days, and was well used to such things. Poppy, however was not, glancing at her friend, Rolanda knew that she would have to find a way, to calm Poppy's fears, and give her confidence. So Rolanda pushed aside her own increasing doubts, and said confidently, "Your 'oh no something is wrong face' is perfectly good, trust me, it's one of the best 'something is wrong faces' I've ever seen."

"You're not just saying that, are you ?" Poppy asked suspiciously, though her face glowed slightly with pleasure, at the praise.

"No ...absolutely not ..." Rolanda lied valiantly. "And I'm an expert on faces too, why there's the innocent face that says 'oh no sir, I'd never do a thing like that ever', and the 'how could you possibly think I'd be involved in that' indignant face and ..."

Just as Rolanda was about to continue her lecture on faces, Severus entered the staff room, looking very self satisfied indeed.

"I have succesfully trapped Albus in the room of requirement." Severus announced triumphantly, "Now it's your turn ...try not to mess it up ..." He couldn't resist sneering.

Poppy jumped nervously, and started to wring her fingers together in despair, at Severus' words.

Severus looked at her in disgust, and snapped. "What in Merlin's name is wrong with her ?"

"She's nervous ...she isn't used to things like this." Rolanda answered, glaring at Severus warningly.

Severus' first impulse was to sneer at Poppy for being so weak, then he reminded himself what was at stake, and that he needed their help. "Poppy, If I didn't have confidence in you, and in your ability to fool Minerva, I wouldn't have asked for your help." Severus spoke with the practised ease of someone, who was well used to deceiving others when neccessary, even though he was desperately hoping that Poppy wouldn't mess things up.

Poppy smiled at Severus gratefully, and appeared reassured by his words, Rolanda thought she even blushed slightly.

"Right, let's do this ..." Rolanda said, in what she hoped was a confident voice, and patted Poppy on the back. "Come along, Poppy, if Severus and I both believe in you, then you know you can do this."

Minerva groaned as she heard the knock at her door, she was exhausted after a sleepless night, and didn't want to see anyone. All she wanted to do, was forget that Hogwarts, and Albus Dumbledore had ever existed. Perhaps if she ignored it, whoever it was would go away. Then she heard the frantic voices of her friends, "Minerva ...quick ...you must come at once ..." Followed by another thunderous knock on the door. Minerva sighed, she supposed she'd better see what was wrong, she got to her feet tiredly, and crossed the room.

As Poppy heard Minerva's footsteps approaching the doorway, she whispered to Rolanda, "Shall I make my 'something's wrong face' now ?"

Rolanda just managed to avoid shooting an exasperrated glare at her friend, and nodded her head firmly. _'Merlin's beard I hope she doesn't mess it up.' _She thought.

Just then, there was the click of a door handle turning, and the tired pale faced figure of Minerva, stood in the doorway. Rolanda's eyes lit up in triumph, as she noticed that Minerva was wearing an emerald silk nightgown, that matched her eyes perfectly, and enhanced every curve of her body.

"What is it ?" Minerva asked, her voice trembling slightly from exhaustion.

Poppy opened her mouth to speak, then discovered that the only sound she could make was a faint squeak, and shut it again.

"We need your help ...you must come with us at once ...no time to explain ..." Rolanda gasped, trying desperately to inject urgency into her voice. As she saw Minerva hesitate, she added, "Danger ...you must come."

Suddenly Poppy found her voice, "The children, Minerva ...they're in danger ..."

Rolanda shot an admiring glance at her friend. 'I knew she had it in her somewhere.' She thought.

Poppy's words were enough to convince Minerva to go with them, "I'll just get my cloak ..." She said firmly.

"No time, you're needed ...Poppy will get it ..." Rolanda answered, then almost dragged Minerva into the corridor, before she had a chance to protest. Rolanda groaned inwardly, as she saw Poppy emerge from Minerva's rooms with the cloak over her arm, frantically she shook her head at her, and mouthed "put it back ..." For a second Poppy looked utterly confused, then enlightnement dawned, and she did as Rolanda wished.

The two friends led Minerva through the passages at a rapid pace, all Minerva's demands for explanations, were met with "no time ...you'll find out soon enough." When Minerva demanded her cloak, Poppy muttered that she had forgotten it, which caused Minerva to shoot a fiercesome glare at her, she certainly did not like being out in public, when so scantilly clad. Only her sense of duty, and her protectiveness to her students, prevented her going back to get her cloak. Finally they arrived at the door to the Room of Requirement.

"In there ...Quick" Rolanda gasped, and pointed at the door.

Wand at the ready, Minerva flung open the door, and was astonished to see only darkness. She was even more astonished, when she felt hands on her back, pushing her into the room. Eyes blazing, Minerva turned to open the door, if this was Rolanda and Poppy's idea of a joke, then she would kill them. Minerva's hand reached for the door handle, only to discover that there was no handle, then she realised that her wand was gone too. What in Merlins name was going on ?

Albus had been trapped in the Room of Requirement for quite some time. He'd discovered almost at once, that his wand was gone, he'd tried wandless magic, and had been horrified to discover that didn't work either. He'd then tried shouting for help, and banging on the door, but no one came. Albus had spent the last few minutes, pacing the floor, and wondering why Severus had left him in here. What in Merlin's name was he playing at ? He was just beginning to think, that the room seemed vaguely familliar to him, and to realise that Severus had tricked him into coming here, when he heard the door open. At last, he would have answers, Albus stepped towards the door, then froze in astonishment as Minerva stumbled into the room. Albus gasped, he hadn't expected to see Minerva ever again, instinctively he moved towards her, then remembered what had happened, and stopped uncertainly. There was the distinctive click of the door locking once more, clearly they were both trapped.

Albus couldn't help but gaze at Minerva longingly, his eyes drank her in. Minerva was wearing one of his favourite nightgowns, it clung to her every curve, falling in emerald silken folds to the floor. Albus tore his eyes from her, he couldn't look at her in this way anymore, she was his no longer. Albus cleared his throat uncertainly, hesitated as he wondered what the best course of action was, a half glance at Minerva told him that she was horrified, and shocked, to see him there, this only increased his uncertainity. Finally he decided that he must say something, he couldn't just ignore her.

"We erm appear to be locked in here ..." Albus said in a voice that trembled, with sorrow and longing.

A stoney silence met his words, as Minerva resolutely gazed at anything except him.

"I ... erm ...doubtless someone will be along to let us out soon ...please do not worry ...I ..." Albus stumbled to a halt, as the silence from Minerva radiated frostiness.

Minerva's only response was to move to the far side of the room, and turn her back on him, apparently fascinated by an ancient tapestry, which hung on the wall. Albus sighed sadly, it was quite clear that she did not wish him to say anymore, Though he longed to embrace her, to tell her how much he loved her, and beg her to love him, Albus forced himself to respect her wishes. He would remain silent, and wait for someone to rescue them. Albus stepped to the other side of the room, he vaguely noticed that it was easier to see now. Before it had been too dark to see more than a couple of feet, now he could see quite easily, though the light was still dim. Almost as though he couldn't help himself, Albus glanced at Minerva, her back was rigid, every line of her body a barrier to him. Albus felt sorrow well up inside him, as he stood so far away from her, and longed to be close to her.

The minutes ticked by, and became hours, an endless eternity of suffering, and longing. The faint scent of lavender and scotch heather, drifted across the room, it's aroma seemed to beckon to Albus. It was as though Minerva's soft skin, and silky hair called to him, it took all his will power to resist their lure. He knew that his life would be meaningless and dull, without her to brighten and warm it. How would he continue without her ? _'I have to be strong, I must let her be happy.' _He told himself, his eyes were constantly drawn to her though. Every time he dragged his gaze from her, an invisible string seemed to draw his glance back to her. How long must he endure this bittersweet torment ? How could they have come to this ? That there was such silence between them, that they could be so close, and so far apart ?

Albus was so tormented by Minerva's presence, by having her so close, and not being able to speak to her, or touch her, that he was barely able to form a single coherent thought. Every fibre of his being was filled with tenderness, and love for her. How could he live without her by his side ? What of Minerva, how did she feel ? It was so unlike her to be so silent, and rigid, in his presence, he'd hoped his choice would save her from further pain, but what if it was hurting her ? Should he speak to her, surrender to his wishes, hold her, touch her ? Then Albus noticed how Minerva trembled, realised how icy cold the room was, and she was clad only in a thin nightgown. _'Fool !' _He berated himself, _'Can you not even do this right, to stand here captured by your desires, while she suffers.' _His heart surged with love and compassion for her, as he took the cloak from his shoulders, and stepped across the floor, to where Minerva stood, her back to him, like a barrier.

Minerva felt the soft fabric of his cloak drape around her, it was as though Albus held her, the essence of him, his aroma was still on the cloth. Minerva couldn't help but draw it closer around her, as though she drew his arms around her. Minerva's breath quickened, she couldn't resist Albus, never could resist him, she had to resist, it was just a kind gesture, it meant nothing. Then Minerva heard his tender words, she must have heard wrong...

"You're cold my love ..." His voice was so tender, so gentle, so warm,

"what did you call me ?" Her voice quivered.

"I called you my love, as you are, and always will be." Minerva heard the passion that vibrated in Albus' voice, was she mistaken ?

Minerva felt his arms fall around her, drawing her in, the warmth and softness of him so close to her. _'I should resist,' _She whispered to herself, _'He broke my heart, I should ...' _turning, Minerva melted into Albus' tender embrace, raised her lips, drew his mouth down to hers, felt his kiss tease her with caresses of flame. His hand was around her waist, drawing her closer and closer to him, his breath was hot on her neck.

"Damm you Albus Dumbledore, why are you so hard to resist ..." Her hands pushed him fiercely from her, so he staggered back against the wall.

A shadow of doubt crossed Albus' face, his eyes that had sparkled with such passion, darkened, became sorrowful and just a little fearful. "I do love you, Minerva, truly I do. I was foolish, I know it ..." His voice trembled "I do love you, with all my heart, my darling."

"You have a funny way of showing it." Minerva snarled, flames of passion, and rage, flickering in her emerald eyes. "Do you think you can just break my heart, and then kiss me, hold me, in the same old way ?"

"Minerva my love for you is forever, through this life and the next, I will never stop treasuring, needing and loving you. I didn't do it because I'd stopped loving you, I did it because I feared the effects of all the fights on you. I was wrong, foolish." Albus answered softly, his voice full of sorrow and guilt.

"Oh ? and you couldn't just tell me this ?" Minerva snapped.

"When I saw how distressed you were after the fight, I remembered how fragile you had been a few days ago, how close you seemed to breaking, and I ...I thought that you might break again ...that the fights were too much for you ...that they were destroying you ...and I couldn't bare to let that happen. " Albus' voice trembled and came close to breaking.

Minerva could hear the guilt in it, and see the sincerity in his eyes, but she wasn't going to risk getting hurt again. So despite her longing, to fall into his warm embrace, and feel his lips touch hers once again, Minerva glared at Albus and snarled, "And I suppose it would have been just too sensible to talk to me, to tell me your worries ..."

"I only did it to protect you, I know I was wrong with this, even if we hadn't got shut in here together I would have come to you very soon, and begged you to forgive me. Minerva I will never stop loving you, I did this out of love, because I thought that you couldn't stand the fights any more, I thought you might be happier without me ..." Albus tried desperately to explain, despite his growing fear that Minerva would not forgive him.

"Then you should have talked to me, told me about your worries, not just taken this decision without even asking me how I felt." Minerva's face was full of rage and pain, "You're too fond of making choices for everyone, without asking them if it's what they want." Minerva added angrily. "What gives you the right ? For such a supposedly wise man, you're incredibly foolish at times ...what gave you the right to break my heart like that without even talking to me ?"

For a moment, Albus looked almost as though he had been struck. His face paled, and for a second, his legs seemed to be about to give way. Then he regained his composure, and looked deep into Minerva's emerald green eyes, and said in a voice that shook "I was a fool Minerva ... I was wrong ... very very wrong. I know my error ... must I fall on my knees and beg you for a second chance ? I would do so if it would convince you ..."

"Why would I give you a second chance to break my heart again ?" Minerva asked, as she wondered if that was a tear that shone in his eye. Her heart wrenched with compassion for him, she longed to hold him, but fought her longing. No one got a second chance to break Minerva McGonagalls heart.

"Minerva, if you will give me a chance, I will never treat you so again, you have my word ..." Albus said softly. Then, with new determination in his voice, added, "I intend to fight for you my love, if it takes a lifetime I won't stop trying to proove my love, trying to win you back ..." Albus' blue eyes shone, with determination and love.

"Let's hope you live a long time then ..." Minerva snarled her eyes blazing with rage, and hidden passion.

Albus' only response was to gaze at Minerva intently, as though trying to see into the very depths of her heart. His eyes upon her, sent a tingle of excitement along Minerva's spine, so that she had to fight her desire to kiss him.

"Minerva, I am going to proove to you how much I love, adore and need you ..." Albus said, his voice strong and warm.

"Oh ...and how do you intend to do that ? " Minerva asked sarcastically.

"I'm going to keep kissing you untill you forgive me, untill you believe that I love you." Albus said softly, stepping lightly towards her, his blue eyes sparkling intensely.

"You clearly have a death wish then ..." Minerva snapped, trying to glare fiercely at Albus, despite the thrill his words had evoked in her.

"My only wish is to make you mine." Albus answered softly, took another step towards Minerva, ignoring the veiled threat that lurked in her eyes.

Albus was so close to her now, his eyes were intensely on her, Minerva felt as though their gaze caressed her. "You are so lovely ..." Albus whispered, his hand under her chin, commanded Minerva to lift her lips to his, blue eyes stared piercingly into hers. "With your permission my love ..." he whispered softly, seeing the answer he wanted in her emerald eyes, Albus kissed her lips tenderly and softly, untill Minerva thought she would melt with desire.

Finally, after a kiss that seemed to last for an eternity of bliss, they broke apart, though their bodies remained pressed close together, each one savouring their awareness of the other's closeness. Albus lifted one hand from Minerva's waist, and gently stroked her face with his fingers, a touch so soft she hardly felt it. "Are you warm enough now, my love ?" he asked tenderly. as he gazed into her eyes.

There was silence, as Minerva rested her head against Albus' chest, feeling the power of his warmth surging through her, still captured by the feel of his lips caressing her's. Minerva felt Albus' mouth brush against her hair, his whiskers tickle her face, she shivered slightly in his grasp, at once he drew her even closer, as his eyes filled with concern.

"You are still cold my darling ..." Albus whispered, his breath like fire against her ear, "I would imagine the door is open now my dear ...shall we ...?" Albus had, of course, realised that they were in the Room of Requirement, and that doubtless, this had all been a plan to help him and Minerva to get back together.

"You know, Albus, I think I'd rather just stay here ..." Minerva answered, she felt as though she never wished to leave his strong arms ever again. What was a little bit of cold, when the man you loved held you so close, when his every touch sent waves of passion through your body.

"A delightfull idea, my darling ..." Albus captured Minerva's lips briefly with his, then cupped her face in his hand, noting the contrast between her slightly flushed cheeks, and the unusual palor of the rest of her skin. He was saddened and shamed, by the dark circles he saw under her eyes, knowing that he was the cause of them. "However, I believe my chambers would be far warmer, and more comfortable ...I am concerned that you are still cold ...I really think we should go to my rooms, where there is warmth." Albus hesitated, remembering Minerva's earlier words, and said gently, "With your consent, of course, my love."

Minerva had to admit that the idea of a warm fire was tempting, she still felt chilled, despite the warmth of Albus' body so close to hers. The idea of privacy, time alone with him, somewhere more comfortable, was attractive too. "Let's go ..." She said, making Albus chuckle softly at her bluntness.

Albus paused only to kiss her again, and then led Minerva from the icy room, his arm still protectively around her waist.

Severus, Rolanda, and Poppy, had been taking turns at patrolling the passage ouside the Room of Requirement, since tricking Albus and Minerva in there. Partly this was to keep away anyone who might let them out, and partly because they all wanted to know whether their plan would succeed or not. At the moment, it was Severus' turn to keep watch, having grown tired of stalking up and down the corridor, he was now lounging against the wall, and grumbling to himself about what a waste of time this all was, and how he could be doing something interesting like making potions.

Suddenly he heard the sound of a door handle turning, instantly Severus' black eyes swivelled in the direction of the Room of Requirement, sure enough, the door was opening. At once, Severus stopped leaning against the wall, and swept along the passage, as though on his way to somewhere very important. As he neared the doorway, Albus and Minerva emerged from the room, their arms wrapped around each other. Oblivious to the presence of his potions master, Albus drew Minerva into a passionate embrace, and kissed her tenderly. For a second, a satisfied half smile flitted across Severus' face, then he regained his self control, and replaced it with his customary sneer.

"Revolting, quite revolting ...If you must kiss and canoodle, at least do it in private." Severus looked down his nose at Minerva and Albus in disgust, his expression as though he was examining a particularly disastrous attempt at potion making.

Albus and Minerva had pulled apart slightly, as they heard Severus' voice, now they glanced at each other in amusement, both sapphire and emerald eyes twinkling merrily.

"Did he just say canoodle ?!" Minerva gasped disbelievingly.

"He most certainly did my dear." Albus chuckled softly, then bent to kiss her once more.

Severus groaned inwardly, and almost regretted his plans success, _'They're going to be completely insufferable from now on.' _He thought, then dreading further discussion about his use of the word canoodle, he made a valiant attempt to change the subject. "Have you two been shut in there all this time ?" Severus asked as casually as possible.

"We appear to have got locked in, Severus. It was most strange, normally one would have been able to use magic to get out ...and yet all attempts at magic utterly failed to work ..." Albus answered, his blue eyes intensely on Severus, in a way that made Severus feel rather uneasy. "You look exceedingly pleased with yourself, my dear Severus, you wouldn't have planned all this would you ?" Albus asked, with a benign smile.

Severus snorted in disgust, and looked incredibly insulted, as he answered. "I am far too busy to play matchmaker you know."

Albus twinkled merrily at the potions master, over his half moon spectacles, and seemed to see deep into his innermost soul, then said softly. "Thank you, my dear boy, I am extremely grateful."

"I don't know what you mean ...I have work to do." Severus replied firmly, then attempted another snort of disgust, which even he thought didn't sound at all convincing. He wished desperately that Albus would stop twinkling at him in that knowing way, he could tell by the way Albus' mouth twitched that he was trying to surpress laughter. Unusually embarrassed, and desperate to escape back to the safety of solitude, Severus turned and swept off down the corridor, his cloak swirling around him, in dark folds. Now that his back was to Albus, and he was free of his mentor's penetrating gaze, Severus permitted a half smile to flit across his face, and for a moment his dark eyes softened slightly.

As Severus made his way back to his dungeons, he was waylaid by Poppy and Rolanda, who were desperate to know whether the plan had been succesful or not.

"So ...did it work yet ?" Rolanda and Poppy both asked eagerly.

"Naturally it has worked, since I thought of it." Severus answered, with a smug self satisfied expression.

"They are back together ?" Rolanda demanded to know.

"Of course." Severus said, in his most superior tone.

"Minerva isn't leaving ?" Poppy gasped joyfully.

"One would assume not." Severus drawled.

Poppy and Rolanda grinned at each other in delight, Severus was amused to notice that Poppy looked almost as though she wanted to dance, while Rolanda was almost bouncing up and down with excitement, they reminded him of a pair of over excited first years.

"We did it ..." They both said happily.

"May I remind you that the idea was actually mine, therefore I actually did it." Severus stated firmly.

Rolanda and Poppy exchanged glances, then before Severus realised what was about to happen, they stepped lightly to either side of him, and both kissed him softly on his pale cheeks. "Thank you Severus ..." they both cooed.

Severus was so stunned by their kiss, that he stood as though frozen to the spot. Poppy and Rolanda were treated to the sight of the potions master turning a bright shade of pink, and looking unusually flustered. Poppy bit back a giggle as she noticed how Severus was blushing, Rolanda grinned mischieviously, her golden eyes sparkling.

"Let's go celebrate." Rolanda suggested.

Poppy nodded her agreement, and as the two friends vanished down the passage, Severus clearly heard Rolanda say, "Severus is really quite a sweetie, isn't he !"

Severus groaned in utter despair, his life was going to be completely insufferable from now on, he was almost tempted to take refuge in his dungeons.

Meanwhile, Albus and Minerva were comfortably settled in Albus' private chambers, a warm fire blazed in the grate, and Minerva was sitting on Albus' lap, held in a tender embrace. They had just shared a long passionate kiss, now Albus was stroking her raven hair softly, and gazing adoringly into the emerald eyes he loved so much. Then an unpleasant, unwanted thought came to his mind, "Minerva, my darling, don't you have a class to teach ? Albus said unwillingly, he would have much preferred to keep silent, but he knew how much Minerva would hate to be late for one of her classes.

"To hell with my class ...they can have a day off." Minerva said firmly.

Albus stared at her open mouthed, he could hardly believe she'd said such a thing. Albus was still in the throes of shock, when Minerva kissed him passionately. Within seconds he'd forgotten all about school, students, and classes, and could only think of how wonderful her lips on his felt, and what a fool he'd been to even think of letting her go. Several blissful hours passed, as Minerva and Albus rediscovered each other, and for the first time in a long while forgot all their pain and worries.

Afterwards Albus lay stroking Minerva's face tenderly, gazing into her eyes, "I'm so sorry for everything my love ..." He whispered, "I've been such a fool."

Next thing Albus knew, Minerva had pinned him to the bed, her emerald eyes blazing with green flame. "You can say that again." She snarled, "You remember this, Albus Dumbledore, I don't need you to protect me from things, or make choices for me, so don't you ever make such a foolish choice again. You should have spoken to me about your worries, and that's what you WILL do in future, do you understand me ?"

Normally Albus would have enjoyed being in such a position, but he could see the anger in Minerva's eyes, heard the rage and power in her voice, and it was this that burned her words into his soul. So, instead of reaching out for Minerva, he lay in silence, knowing that he deserved her fury.

"We're meant to be a partnership, and that means we make decisions together, not seperately. Being a partnership means that when you have worries about something that you talk to me, it doesn't mean keeping silent in order to protect me or shield me. Then making foolish decisions because you're worried about me, or trying to protect me. I'm just as strong as you, I don't need protecting." Minerva continued her lecture, glaring down at him fiercely, "I expect you to talk to me about things, in future, not just make decisions, without even asking me. Do you understand me ? I DO NOT need protecting, is that clear ?"

Albus made the only sensible response, the only safe response. "Yes my dear." he said meekly, then daringly "Would you kiss me again my love ?"

"Always." Minerva said softly, and kissed him tenderly.

Albus reached out and drew Minerva into his arms, feeling her body against his, so warm and soft, all he could think was, that he was the luckiest man alive, and that he would never let her go again.

While Albus and Minerva were lying blissfully in each others arms, Rolanda and Poppy were lounging contentedly in the staff room. They'd spent a pleasant couple of hours, drinking butterbeer and the occasional fire whiskey, while congratulating each other on the success of the plan.

"Wasn't it funny when Severus blushed, when we kissed him ?" Rolanda said happily.

"Yes ...it was .." Poppy giggled, as she remembered how funny Severus had looked.

"I wonder if he'd blush again, if we kissed him again ..." Rolanda said with a mischievious glint in her eyes.

"Don't be silly , of course he wouldn't. He only blushed because we surprised him." Poppy said firmly.

"I bet he would blush again ..." Rolanda answered, then with a wicked gleam in her eyes said, "Why don't we go and try ..."

For a second Poppy's face shone with mischief, then she seemed to recall that she was the school healer, a member of staff, and she answered regretfully. "We can't ...we shouldn't ..."

Rolanda knew Poppy was tempted, so she answered, "Oh come on ...we need some fun after the last couple of days ...let's have another fire whiskey first and then go try ..."

Severus was stalking along a dark passage near his potions classroom, when Rolanda and Poppy pounced on him, kissed him on each cheek, and cooed "Hello Severus ...Thank you Severus ..." To their absolute delight, Severus turned an even brighter shade of pink, than previously, and looked rather like a startled rabbit caught in car headlights.

Before Severus had a chance to regain his senses, Rolanda and Poppy had vanished down the corridor, giggling gleefully. For a few minutes, Severus leant against the wall, trembling slightly, then still slightly dazed, made his way back to the haven of his potions classroom. He did hope they weren't going to keep doing that, for some reason he didn't know how to cope with it. He just wasn't used to people kissing him unexpectedly.

Rolanda and Poppy spent the rest of the day pouncing on Severus unexpectedly, and kissing him on the cheek, then watching him blush, they just couldn't resist the temptation of seeing whether he would keep on blushing, every single time. By the end of the day poor Severus was a nervous wreck, his normally pale face was even more lacking in colour than normal, and he couldn't turn a corner or leave a room without jumping slightly. Finally, the potions master took refuge in his dungeons, and locked the door against all intruders. _'I'm never coming out of my dungeons ever again.' _He told himself, _'They're all insane, I'm sick of the lot of them.'_

The next day, Severus still refused to come out, even though he had several classes to teach. As soon as Albus heard of this, he decided to go and investigate. Albus arrived at Severus' dungeons to find the door firmly locked, at first his knocks were ignored.

"Severus ? My dear boy ? Are you all right ?" Albus called anxiously through the door, then knocked again.

For a few seconds there was silence, then Severus answered, "Go away ...I'm not coming out ...I've decided to take a holiday in my dungeons."

"Severus is something wrong ?" Albus asked, his voice full of concern.

"Yes ... No ...I don't want to talk about it ..." Came the answer, in an unusually anxious voice.

Albus had rarely heard Severus sound so flustered, and his concerns grew. "Are you unwell my dear boy ? Should I fetch Poppy ?" He asked anxiously.

Albus heard what sounded like a muffled scream from within, followed by a loud crash.

"Severus ... Severus ...open this door at once ..." He commanded, as his worries increased,

"No ..." Severus answered, in a voice that shook slightly.

"Severus, my dear boy, I really must insist ...I am most concerned about you." Albus said firmly.

"Not untill you make them leave me alone." Severus said in a determined tone.

"Make who leave you alone ?" Albus asked, as gently as he could.

"Those bloody women ..." Severus snapped irately.

"Severus please try to explain exactly what you mean ..." Albus said, having confusing, and strange, visions of Severus being followed everywhere by hordes of women.

For a second there was silence from behind the door, and then Severus growled, "Pomfrey and Hooch ...make them stop ..."

Albus sighed, this really was a most bewildering conversation, as patiently as he could, he said, "Severus please, try to make sense ..."

This time there was an even longer silence, finally Severus answered, in an unusually quiet voice, "It's those bloody women, they keep ...uhm ...they will keep ...erm ..."

"Keep what Severus ?" Albus enquired softly.

Another silence, then the words came all in a rush, "Kissing me, they keep kissing me, they won't stop it, and it's really mmmfffppphhh..." There was a soft clunking sound from within, as though Severus was banging his head against the door frame.

Albus tried valiantly to turn his chuckle into a cough, fought to not laugh, knowing how much it would upset Severus if he seemed to find it funny.

"Are you laughing ?" Severus enquired suspisciously.

"No ...No ...of course not ...just ahem clearing my throat my dear boy ..." Albus' eyes were sparkling merrily, as he answered.

"It's not funny you know ...if they dont stop it I'm not coming out ever, in fact I'll resign." Severus stated, in an extremely embarrassed but determined voice.

Once again, Severus thought he heard a strange noise, like a laugh that tried to be a cough, from the other side of the door.

"Bother this cough ..." Albus said, trying to sound convincing, "My dear boy, I will deal with this I assure you...there's really no need to hide ...I mean ...remain in your dungeons. "

Once he arrived back at his office, Albus summoned Rolanda and Poppy. A few minutes later they entered Albus' office, to find him sitting behind his desk, twinkling benignly at them over his half moon spectacles.

"Ah, my dear Poppy, and Rolanda, please come in and sit down ..." Albus said genially, "May I offer either of you a lemon drop ?"

"Was it something important you wanted to see us about ?" Poppy asked anxiously, "I was just in the middle of checking all my healing potions."

"And I have flying class soon." Added Rolanda.

Albus twined his fingers together, and peered at them both intently with his sparkling blue eyes. "Poppy, Rolanda, we have a little problem with Severus, which I believe you may be able to help me with." He said.

"Oh ? Really ? " Answered Rolanda, in what she hoped was a nochalont tone.

For a few seconds there was silence, Poppy and Rolanda had the distinct impression that Albus was trying very hard to keep a straight face, finally he spoke. "You are doubtless aware that Severus has been hiding in his dungeons, and refusing to come out, which leaves me without a potions master ..." Albus paused for a moment, his gaze intensely on them. "You wouldn't happen to know why, would you ?"

Poppy shifted uneasily in her seat, she knew she shouldn't have listened to Rolanda, every time she listened to Rolanda it ended in trouble.

Rolanda, who was more used to being in such situations, answered as casually as she could, "Why ever would you think we would know ?"

"Because, " Albus answered, peering even more intently at them than ever, "I did hear that you two have been, shall we say, teasing Severus, by kissing him ..."

Rolanda sighed, clearly Albus knew everything, "Well, we just meant it as a nice gesture of thanks at first, but he was so cute and funny, when he blushed that we couldn't resist doing it again ... and again ...and ..."

Albus did his best to surpress a chuckle, as his eyes twinkled merrily, finally he said, "Yes, I think I get the picture thank you ..."

"You know he blushes every single time, it's really really funny ..." Rolanda couldn't resist adding.

Albus fought even harder to surpress another chuckle, then reminded himself, that Severus did not find any of this at all amusing, and that he must put a stop to it. "Honestly, try to remember you're meant to be adults, not fourteen years old ..." He said in what he hoped was his best stern headmaster's voice.

Albus was somewhat surprised when both Poppy, and Rolanda glared at him indignantly.

"Oh ! That's rich coming from you !" Poppy said, her eyes blazing.

"If anyone acts like they're 14 it's you, with your candy obsession ..." Rolanda added irately.

"Don't forget his sock collection ... I would have said ten myself," Poppy answered, while Albus sat in stunned silence.

"And then there's that weird thing with the knitting patterns ..." Rolanda said, as she rose from her chair.

"He's just generally crazy." Poppy stated firmly, as she followed Rolanda to the door.

"Yes ... and he's got the nerve to call us childish ..." Rolanda answered as they left the room.

Albus sighed, and stroked Fawkes absentlymindedly. "You know Fawkes some days, I dont think I get any respect at all ..." He said softly. "And speaking of candy, where did I put that tin of lemon drops ?"

_**Author's Notes**_

_**Thanks to everyone who reviews, it's really appreciated, thanks also to everyone who reads this story. Please review, since reviews are glittery happy things to have. :)**_

_**Whew, well that was the longest chapter so far, by a long way. I was very tempted to split it, but finally decided not to. I tried to make this chapter have lots of humour, even before we knew whether or not they would get back together. I thought humour was needed after all the angst, so this chapter tried to be nice and happy. **_

_**I hope the lovely romantic scene when they made up, sort of made it almost worth having them breakup temporarily ? If they hadn't broken up, then that scene wouldn't have happened. I just can't decide if Albus telling Minerva he was going to keep kissing her until she knew how much he loved her was sappy or lovely lol. **_

_**I also hope that Rolanda and Poppy kissing poor Severus was funny ? I know it amused me, though I almost felt sorry for Severus too. ;)**_

_**Things to Come**_

_**Chapter 20**__** Albus still feels the impact of Minerva's lecture, what effect will it have on him ? Their temporary breakup acts almost as a catalyst in a way. Important decisions are made, action taken. Unpleasant unexpected shocks. **_

_**Chapter 21**__** Final chapter probably, What will be the consequences of earlier choices ? Can love lead to forgiveness and understanding, acceptance ? Can they be a family ? I don't know what else to write here. Epilogue follows set a few weeks later. **_


	20. Checking on Harry

Chapter 20

That night Albus lay with Minerva in his arms. She slept peacefully, her head rested lightly against him - midnight black hair cascading down his chest, and mingling with his silver beard, harmonious and contrasting like the night sky and the moon. She was warm and so soft in his arms, everyone of his senses drank her in, breathed her aroma, felt her as part of him - making him whole again. Despite the bliss of having Minerva so close, Albus still couldn't sleep. He had hurt her so much with his foolishness. How could he have done so ? How could he have been so wrong ?

At last Albus drifted off into a restless sleep, his mind full of unanswered questions and self reproach. He was woken the next morning by Minerva kissing him tenderly on the lips, the touch of her mouth on his let him forget his guilt and doubts for a time. Later that day, while Minerva was busy with her work, they returned stronger than ever.

Albus spent much of the next hours pacing back and forth in his office, untill Phineus Nigellus asked sarcastically if he was trying to wear a hole in the carpet. Albus stifled a sigh, then sought solace in walking in the grounds of Hogwarts, as he questioned himself and his decisions endlessly, rarely had he been so confused, so beset with self doubt. One overiding question tormented him more than any other - _'If I could be so wrong about Minerva and I, then what if I've also made the wrong choice about Harry ?' _

Minerva's words of the day before played endlessly in his mind too, he could still recall the rage in her eyes as she spoke about being a partnership, and how she didn't need protecting. Albus sighed as he finally faced the truth, Minerva was right, he should have included her in his decisions from the very start. How could he have been so blind, so arrogant ? He knew her strength and courage well, she'd proven it a thousand times during the war against Voldemort. It was love that had made him so determined to protect her, love and fear, but he knew now that he'd gone too far in his attempts to keep Minerva safe.

Albus was still certain that Petunia would never harm Harry, and would come to love him, but was it really so much to ask that he just go and check ? '_If I could just reassure her about Harry, if I just went to check on him - prooved to her that he is safe with the Dursleys, that would put her mind at rest.' _He told himself, '_She'd be more able to accept that he should stay there, if she knew he was well cared for there.' _Once again Albus felt the familliar feeling of terror rise in him, as he thought about what could happen to Harry if deatheaters found out where he was, despite the blood protection Harry would still be in danger. This time though he was aware of his fear, and how it affected his reasoning, it was as though he was finally seeing clearly - almost as though a mist had lifted from him.

As the cloud that had shrouded his wisdom lifted, so Albus saw his folly in all it's disgrace, worse than anything he had lied to Minerva, decieved her. It was then that the conviction rose within him that he must make things right, and there was only one way to do that. He must do what he should have done all those weeks ago, and tell her the truth. Once that was done, he would go himself and check on Harry.

Now his only worry was - would Minerva forgive his lies ? It took all of Albus' Gryffindor courage to leave the grounds and make his way towards Minerva's chambers. The walk to her rooms seemed to take far longer than normal, as he imagined with a heart full of dread, the anger and hurt that he would see in her eyes. At times he was almost tempted to turn back, unable to bear the thought of how much his confession might wound her, but then he told himself that there was only one way to heal their relationship, and carried on walking. One foot in front of the other, hearing his footsteps echoing in the hollow empty hallways, feeling as though he walked to his doom.

At last Albus reached Minerva's chambers, taking a deep breath he knocked on the door. When there was no answer, Albus opened the door softly and peering round it, saw Minerva fast asleep at her desk. Minerva's glasses had slipped down her nose, her tall emerald green hat had tumbled from her head, and half marked work had fallen to the floor and lay at her feet. As Albus stood watching Minerva he could clearly see the lines of exhuastion and stress etched on her face, the dark shadows like bruises around her eyes. She looked so peaceful as she slept, he couldn't bring himself to wake her from the rest she so clearly needed. Moving softly, Albus took a tartan shawl from the hook by the door, draped it tenderly round Minerva's shoulders, then bent and kissed her hair with lips that were light as a whisper. For a few minutes Albus stood watching Minerva sleep, his bright blue eyes sparkling with the light of love. Then he slipped silently from the room, closing the door soundlessly behind him.

Albus stood outside Minerva's rooms for some time deep in thought. Ever since he'd made the decision to go and check on Harry, he'd felt a surge of excitement at the thought of seeing him again, seeing how he was doing, he didn't want to delay any longer than was neccessary. Finally he decided to go and check on Harry while Minerva slept, and to confess to his lies when he got back. First though he needed to see Severus, just in case anything went wrong someone needed to be ready to bring help.

After he had returned to his office, Albus firecalled Severus, and asked him to come to his study at once. A few minutes later there was a knock on the door, and the dark figure of the potions master entered the room.

"Ah Severus, I have decided to go and check on Harry, I shall be leaving shortly." Albus said, once he'd invited Severus to sit down.

Severus raised his eyebrows at this news, this was an unexpected developement, so Minerva had finally managed to persuade Albus to change his mind.

Albus seemed almost to know what Severus was thinking, as he said, "I have made some uncharacteristic errors recently, I wish to ensure that I have not made an error in placing Harry with his family. Also it will help to put Minerva's mind at rest, if she knows that I have gone to check if Harry is well cared for there." Albus sighed softly as he finished speaking, his eyes full of regret as he remembered how much his mistakes had already hurt his beloved Minerva.

"Well if you bring him back here make sure you keep the revolting brat away from me." Severus snarled, the last thing he wanted was Potter's son running around Hogwarts, getting in his way, besides which the boy would doubtlessly grow up to be just as arrogant and annoying as his father.

Albus' eyes flashed at Severus' words, but his voice was gentle as he answered, "Severus I have no intention of bringing Harry back here, I am certain that he is well cared for with the Dursleys, I simply want to reassure Minerva that this is the case - there is only one way to do that."

"So you won't be there long ..." Severus sneered, "Just long enough to tell Minerva that you have gone and checked on the boy ... then why do you need my help ?"

Once again Albus' eyes flashed like the cutting blade of cold steel, and there was a hint of icy anger in his voice as he answered, "I intend to stay there as long as is neccessary, I shall certainly spend several hours there, to do anything less would not be a thorough check on Harry's welfare, and would be deceiving Minerva." Albus steepled his long fingers together, and peered intently at Severus over his half moon spectacles. The younger man shifted uneasily - reminded of Albus peering at him in a similar way as his headmaster.

After a few minutes Albus' gaze softened, and he reached out and patted Severus on the arm gently. "Severus, my dear boy, I know how you feel about Harry's father, I know this is hard for you but I would not ask for your help if I did not need it." Albus said softly.

Albus' words had the desired effect, and Severus' dark mood lightened a little. The next few minutes were spent in planning what should happen if there was danger, and help was needed. Finally all plans were made, and Albus was ready to leave, the invisibility cloak that had belonged to James safely tucked under one arm.

"Remember Severus, if there is danger I shall signal in the normal way. Help must come fast ..." Albus said as he made his way to the door.

"Patronus ..." Severus confirmed, Albus had taught all the members of the Order to communicate using patronus.

Albus nodded, his face unusually grave, he was still deeply concerned about the risk he was taking.

"You can trust me Albus, help will come if needed." Severus said in an unusually gentle voice.

Albus patted Severus on the shoulder, "Thank you Severus." he said softly.

As Albus reached the door of his office, he turned to face Severus and eyes sparkling with some of their normal humour, said "And Severus my dear boy, I can assure you that Harry is not a revolting brat, in fact he's really quite adorable. I'm sure you'd like him ..."

Severus rolled his eyes in disgust, and snapped, "All children of that age are revolting. All they do is wail for food or attention, gurgle like idiots, or vomit and poop ...revolting, quite revolting ..."

Albus couldn't help but chuckle at these words, he often wondered whether Severus had a sense of humour well hidden beneath his severe exterior.

Once he had left his office Albus made his way to a secluded corridor high on the top floor of the castle, where most people never ventured, then after looking around carefully, slipped into a half hidden doorway which led to a dimly lit chamber. After a few seconds of searching in the numerous pockets of his robes, Albus found what he was seeking. Drawing his wand he cast Portus on the old lemon drop tin, draped his invisibility cloak over himself, and placing his hand on the tin gave the name of a street not far from the Dursley's home.

Hidden under the invisibility cloak Albus made his way through the darkening streets, he had cast a silencing spell to cover the sound of his footsteps, and was virtually undetectable.

As he entered Privet Drive Albus paused and drew a small golden device from under the folds of his robe, it looked rather like a particularly ornate compass except it had no needles. Peering at it anxiously, Albus tapped it twice with one of his long fingers, instantly a tiny image of the streets and houses appeared with small dots which moved. After a couple of seconds, Albus nodded in satisfaction - the nonmuggle sensor clearly showed that he and Harry were the only ones in the vicinity with any magical ability. Relieved Albus slipped soundlessly towards the Dursley's house, and up the garden path.

As he neared the brightly lit window with it's garish floral curtains still undrawn, Albus could see clearly into the Dursley's living room. A rotund ball of a boy with chubby pink cheeks, and a spoilt sullen looking face, sat on the floor surrounded by a pile of expensive looking toys. A burly man with a large moustache lounged in an armchair reading the evening newspaper, and occasionally shooting adoring glances at his son, who was smashing two toys together loudly. A thin woman with an extremely long neck, was gossiping loudly about the neighbours, despite her disapproving expression she was evidently enjoying herself greatly - the more she sneered at people the happier she looked.

As he peered into the room, Albus' brow creased in a slight frown - where was Harry ? Perhaps he was sleeping peacefully in another room after a tiring day, but still it seemed a little strange.

Albus stepped lightly towards the front entrance, and wandlessly cast Alohomora on the door which swung open at once. As Albus entered the hall of the Dursley's house, he heard a faint whimpering noise coming from a door under the stairs. It sounded rather like a small animal that had got trapped in there, glancing around cautiously Albus moved softly towards the door of the cupboard and opened it soundlessly. Albus stared into the claustrophobically dark space, the whimpering could be heard clearly now but it didn't sound so much like an animal anymore ... Albus' eyes widened in astonishment as he saw Harry crawling towards him, tears poured down the toddler's face. At once Albus bent instinctively to pick Harry up and comfort him, then he reminded himself that it was essential that he remain undetected. Sadly Albus stepped back and watched Harry crawl out of the cupboard, his brow furrowing in concern,_ 'What was Harry doing in that cupboard, and why had no one noticed that he was missing ?' _Of course little children did get into the strangest of places, why he himself had once got stuck under his grandmother's giant cookie jar as a young child, but it was worrying that not one of the Dursleys was even looking for Harry.

Still frowning slightly Albus slipped into a quiet corner between the stairway and the wall, his intense blue eyes focused on Harry, who was crawling towards the part open door of the lounge. Albus was just thinking that someone would be bound to comfort his sobbing grandson, when he heard Petunia Dursley scream indignantly "How did you get out you little freak ?!" Before Albus could react Petunia appeared in the doorway, she was dragging Harry along the ground by his arm, not even seeming to care how his tiny legs banged against the wall as she yanked him into the hall, and towards the cupboard under the stairs. Harry was wailing loudly, his eyes round with terror.

As Albus stood frozen with astonishment and horror, scarcely able to believe what he saw, Vernon Dursley bellowed from the lounge, "Lock him in the cupboard Petunia, that'll teach him to make that noise ...it'll keep the little freak away from our Dudders too, we don't want him getting polluted by it." Flames of fury sparked in Albus' eyes as he heard this, and flinging the invisibility cloak from his shoulders he stepped in front of Petunia.

"PETUNIA DURSLEY LET GO OF MY GRANDSON AT ONCE !" Albus thundered, so loudly that the walls shook slightly.

Instantly Petunia turned as white as a sheet, her eyes as big as dinner plates, as her head quivered on her too long neck, making her look rather like an extremely nervous ostrich. She looked almost as though she might faint as her grip on Harry's wrist loosened, letting him tumble to the ground. As Albus stepped forward to lift Harry off the floor, a thin screeching wail escaped Petunia's lips, as she pressed herself frantically into the corner and tried to look as tiny and insignificant as possible.

Albus examined the screaming toddler rapidly, worried that he might have been injured by the fall, but other than a bruise on his leg Harry seemed unharmed. Albus breathed out in relief, then hugged the wailing form of Harry to him, as he rubbed soothing circles in his back, and murmured gentle calming words of love and reassurance in his ear. The soft almost monotone drone, rather like the gentle hum of a bumblebee, seemed to be taking effect, as Harry's wails grew quiter, Petunia's by contrast were growing louder and louder, and more and more panic stricken. For the moment Albus was too intent on trying to calm Harry to pay her any attention, but inside him his anger was raging like never before, a burning white hot fury that showed in his blazing eyes and grim expression.

Suddenly the door of the lounge opened with a thunderous crash, and the bulky figure of Vernon Dursley stormed into the hall, oversized moustache quivering with indignation. "Be quiet you horrible little freak or you'll be sorry !" He bellowed, obviously under the impression that it was Harry wailing not his wife.

"VERNON DURSLEY !! IF YOU DARE TO HARM ONE HAIR ON MY GRANDSON'S HEAD YOU WILL MOST CERTAINLY BE EXTREMELY SORRY !!" Albus thundered, his wand hand pointing direct at Mr Dursley's blubbery stomach, as Harry sniffled softly against his Granpa Alby's silver beard. Albus' eyes were entirely devoid of their normal merry warmth and gentleness, instead they flashed like blue steel that almost seemed able to cut the very air, as he glared furiously at Vernon Dursley.

Mr Dursley shot a terrified glance at Dumbledore and turned tail and tried to flee, at once Petunia screamed, "Vernon, Vernon, where are you going ? you can't leave me ..." Mr Dursley however did not seem to share her opinion, as he tried to shoot back into the lounge, his normally red face a greyish white colour from sheer terror.

Instantly a blue flash shot from Albus' wand, and Mr Dursley froze in mid air, his arms flailing madly almost as though he was drowning. Next thing he knew Vernon was being dragged back into the hall as though by some unseen hand. Another flick of his wand from Albus and Vernon Dursley slammed against the wall, with a loud thud that caused a few flakes of plaster to fall from the ceiling, and the fake golden chandelier that hung overhead to quiver as though about to fall. As he cowered against the wall Vernon Dursley now looked like an insipid greyish coloured blob of wobbling jelly, even his moustache trembled with terror.

"Mmmmercy ..." Vernon whimpered piteously, his blubbery jowls damp with perspiration.

"Did you show Harry any mercy when you shut him in this cupboard ?" Albus demanded thunderously, his wand still pointing at Mr Dursley, his sapphire eyes sparking with rage and contempt. "Did you show him any warmth or compassion at all ?! Did you show any humanity whatsoever towards him ?!"

Petunia's screeches had now reached deafening proportions and were threatening to rouse the entire street if they weren't stopped. Albus turned and glared at her, he could not permit this noise to continue, it was far too risky. "If you do not cease that noise instantly then I will use magic to silence you." He snapped threateningly.

The steely flash in Albus' eyes left Petunia in no doubt that he meant every word he said, she had just opened her mouth to wail again, now she snapped it tight shut.

"Thank you." Albus said icily.

While Albus was momentarily distracted by Petunia and her screeches, Vernon Dursley had decided that now was a good time to make his escape. Just in time Albus turned to see Vernon trying to sneak off down the hall, once again there was a blue flash from Albus' wand and for the second time that night Vernon was slammed against the wall. This time though he was pinned against the wall as if by some unseen force, rather as though stuck on a giant sheet of fly paper, and only able to forlornly wiggle his arms and legs.

Without even bothering to glance at Petunia, Albus flicked his wand casually in her direction, at once she began to hover a few feet above the beige carpet. Just as she was about to scream Albus shot a fiercesome glare at her, and Petunia was instantly silent though she shook all over and kicked her thin boney legs as though trying to escape the spell, that was now moving her across the hall towards her husband. Next thing she knew she was glued against the wall next to Vernon, where she hung rather like a giant quivering stick insect.

"Now ..." Said Albus, a distinct threat in his voice, and still blazing eyes, "I have you both exactly where I want you, and the question is what am I going to do with you ...or should that be To You ..."

The Dursleys cringed back against the wall at Albus' words, indeed they both seemed to be attempting to press themselves through the solid wall, so afraid were they. Albus couldn't help but feel a triumphant surge of pleasure at their terror, as his fury at their ill treatment of Harry still blazed like cold fire within him. He was as close to loosing his temper completely as he had ever been. Albus pointed his wand direct at the Dursleys, the rage in his eyes burning into them as he stepped towards their trembling forms. Just as he appeared about to cast some horrible jinx on them his attention was caught by the antics of Dudley, who was having a wonderful time throwing all of his toys at Petunia's collection of china ornaments. Albus paused for a second as he watched the boy, reminding himself that these odious people had a son, a maybe rather unpleasant son, but still a child who needed his parents.

At that moment Harry shifted sleepily in his arms, snuggling in against Albus contentedly, Albus glanced at Harry tenderly and though the Dursleys were too terrified to notice it, his gaze softened a little. Harry should be got back to Hogwarts as quickly as possible, this delay was dangerous, Albus reminded himself. After all what was to be gained by pointless vengance, by letting his anger rule him ? There was however one thing to be done before taking Harry away from here forever, and that was to learn the full truth about just how far the Dursleys had gone in their cruelty to Harry.

Albus focused his icy glare on the hapless Dursleys once again, his eyes seemed to bore into them, exposing their deepest secrets. Almost casually Albus flicked his wand at Petunia, who whimpered in terror as Albus' spell gently forced her head up, so that she had no choice other than to look into his cold accusing eyes. "What else did you do to him, other than shutting him in a cupboard ?" Albus demanded to know. "Answer me, or suffer the full force of my wrath." He commanded, confident that this would be the fastest and most effective way to get an answer. Albus had no real intent to harm either of the Durlseys now that his rage had cooled a little, but there was no harm in scaring them a bit.

"I ...I did as you wished ...I cared for him ..." Petunia began, too terrified by Dumbledore's threat to not answer.

"YOU LIE !" Albus thundered, his rage surging in him again, no one could look Albus Dumbledore in the eye and lie, he always knew.

Petunia was now deathly white, as she cringed against her husband, her eyes round circles of terror.

"I will ask you one more time, and this time you will answer me truthfully, or else ..." Albus snapped, "Did you ill treat Harry in any other ways ? Did you hurt him ?" He asked, as he prayed that Harry had not suffered any physical abuse while with these people.

With Albus intent gaze burning into her soul, Petunia had no choice other than to speak the truth for one of the few times in her life. "I neglected him, fed him just enough to keep him alive but gave the rest to my little cherub, my darling Dudders ..." she whispered, "I ignored him, pushed him away when he wanted affection, cared for him just enough to keep him alive and reasonably healthy ... but every minute i wasted on him I resented because it took time away from darling Dudley. I left him alone in rooms at first, but his wailing drove me mad, so I shut him in the cupboard so I couldn't hear him cry." Despite her fear, Petunia couldn't keep the bitterness and loathing out of her voice. "We never asked to have the freak dumped on us." She added almost defiantly, then fainted in sheer terror as Albus raised his wand once more, his eyes blazing with contempt and disgust at her words.

Albus sighed softly as he looked at Petunia unconscious against the wall, he had come so close to loosing his temper and jinxing her, as he heard the full truth about her treatment of Harry, and yet really wasn't he almost as much to blame ? To leave a child with people you hardly knew, and expect them to care for him, if it hadn't been for Minerva and her determination, then how much more might Harry have suffered ? Wasn't he nearly as guilty as the Dursleys ? Albus sighed again, then reminded himself that now was not the time for this.

Wandlessly he lowered Petunia gently to the floor, and checked her pulse, satisfied that she had simply fainted and would recover fully Albus cast Aguamenti. At once a jet of water shot out of his wand and all over Petunia, who immediately awoke spluttering and coughing. For the first time since he had arrived at the Dursleys, Albus' eyes twinkled a little as he looked down at Petunia who was soaking wet all over, and resembled a soggy poodle, it seemed he had been a little heavy handed in his spell.

The expression in Albus' eyes darkened once more, as he turned his attention to Vernon Dursley. Once again he cast the same spell that he had used on Petunia, this time it was Vernon who had no choice other than to look into Albus' eyes. "What about you ?" Albus asked his face stern, intense blue eyes boring into Vernon like laser beams, "Did you hurt Harry ? Did you harm him or ill treat him ?"

Vernon Dursley was tembling so much that he could not seem to answer, as sweat poured down his face in streams, and dripped from his chin and sodden moustache.

Albus stared at him with utter disgust for a couple of minutes, then pointed his wand direct at Vernon's face and commanded, "You will answer my questions or suffer the consequences ... Did you hurt Harry in any way ? Did you hit him ?" As he asked this final question, Albus steeled himself for the answer he feared so much that he might get, and told himself that no matter what he must keep his temper.

For a second Vernon gaped at Albus utterly panic stricken, then in desperation he howled, "Look we just shoved him in the cupboard that's all ...out of sight out of mind ..."

A surge of relief shot through Albus as he heard this, then rapidly turned to disgust, "You are despicable, that I should have left my grandson, Lily and James' son, with people like you !" He snapped, as he stared at the Dursleys contemptously. "Heartless ... not even the merest shred of compassion for your own sister's child ..."

"She's a freak !" Screamed Petunia "I wish she'd never been born, just like him the little freak ...we're nice normal people, we don't want anything to do with freaks like you lot."

Albus' eyes were like ice as he stared at Petunia in disgust, "You are truly beneath contempt !" He snapped, "If it were not for the fact that Harry needs my care and attention, and you have a son who also needs your care, I would teach you both a lesson you would never forget." Albus turned away from the Dursleys and stepped towards the front door, "Come Harry, let's go home." He whispered.

"Just a minute ..." Bellowed Vernon, who seemed less afraid now that he knew Dumbledore wasn't going to do anythng horrible to him, "You can't just leave me stuck here ..."

"Oh I think you'll find that I can." Albus answered, "Of course the spell should wear off eventually I imagine, but untill then you will just have to hang around and wait." Albus' eyes twinkled as he said this, and both the Dursleys had the impression that he was rather enjoying himself.

At this, Vernon began to wave his arms and legs desperately in a frantic attempt to become unstuck from the wall, but the more he struggled the worse stuck he seemed to get, his face was now growing purplish red with rage and unaccustomed exertion. Just at that moment there was a loud crash from the lounge, followed by a triumphant yell from Dudley who had just succeeded in smashing his Mother's giant porcelain vase. "Dudders ...darling Dudders ..." Wailed Petunia, "What have you done to him ?"

"I assure you that I have not harmed your son in any way. He appears to be happily engaged in destroying your lounge, he is perfectly safe" Albus answered, at that moment Dudley threw one of his toys at the television smashing it's screen, "Your Television however may never be the same again." Albus added.

Leaving Petunia to deal with Dudley's destruction, Albus stepped once more to the door, paused for a second to wrap the inivisibility cloak tightly round himself and Harry, checked his reflection in the hall mirror, then nodded in satisfaction when he saw nothing, and strode into the night. Albus slipped soundlessly through the streets, then when he was a good distance from Privet Drive and certain that all was well, cast Portus on an old shoe and transported himself and Harry back to his chambers at Hogwarts.

Once there Albus flicked his wand at the fireplace which blazed into life, then tenderly unwrapped Harry from the invisibility cloak and gazed down at him with eyes full of guilt. Reaching out with his long gentle fingers Albus brushed the jet black hair from Harry's face, and gazing into his baby eyes, whispered "Oh Harry I'm so sorry, so very very sorry ...I should never have left you there ..." A tear shone in Albus' eyes for a second, then rolled down his cheek as he drew Harry to him and held him close as though he would never let him go again.

"Granpa Alby ..." Harry cooed sleepily, as he wrapped his tiny arms tightly around Albus' neck, rested his head on Albus' shoulder and promptly fell asleep.

For a few precious minutes Albus held Harry tenderly in his arms, feeling the joy of having a child he loved as a grandson sleeping peacefully against him. Then he reminded himself that there were things he had to do, first he must tell Minerva the news, then he must make sure that Hogwarts was as well protected as possible. With Harry still cradled in his arms, Albus stepped lightly through the door of his rooms and went to find Minerva, his eyes twinkling as he thought how happy she would be. Then he remembered the confession that must come once her reunion with Harry was over and the twinkle went out, like a star that is hidden behind sudden clouds.

Albus was surprised and a little disappointed not to find Minerva in her rooms, he'd half expected her to still be sleeping peacefully - still he had been gone quite some time. After checking that Harry was still asleep, Albus went to see if Minerva was in the staffroom. On his way there he met Poppy, at once he noticed how upset she looked. "Is something wrong my dear Poppy ?" Albus asked.

For a second Poppy looked as though she was going to burst into tears, then the words came out all in a rush, "It's Minerva, she's gone, oh Albus she's gone..."

"What ?" Albus said, taken by surprise at this, "What do you mean gone ?"

"She's left, she ...she said you'd betrayed her ...and ... and that she'd never forgive you ever ...then she left ...I couldn't stop her." Poppy stuttered.

All the colour drained from Albus' face and for a second the passage seemed to spin around him, as the dreadful realisation dawned that Minerva must have found out about the prophecy and his deceit before he could confess to her. She was gone, and it was his lies that had driven her away, Albus stood stunned and speechless, bereft.

_**Author's Notes**_

_**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, you're all wonderful, please review, it's great to hear what people think. **_

_**Sorry about taking nearly forever to update, I do hope everyone hasn't forgotten all about this story. I just lost all my enthusiasm and inspiration for it, and thought that I'd have to force myself to write it, then suddenly my inspiration returned and it felt as though a heavy weight had lifted from me, and yippee *Dances madly* I've managed to complete it. Yep you all heard right, I'm delighted to announce that Dumbledore's Eyes is finished, which makes it one of the few things I've ever finished, thus my delight. :) There will be one more chapter and an epilogue. When would you all like them published ? And together or seperately ?**_

_**No more things to come, since it may spoil the story, even though it's terribly tempting to give things away. :D I really love writing angry Albus for some reason, maybe this chapter was loosely based on how I imagine he would have reacted to the Dementors endangering Harry - I had a definite impression that he thundered at them. **_

_**Says yippee again and zooms off. :D **_


	21. Scotland

Chapter 21

For several minutes all Albus could do was lean trembling and shocked against the cold stone wall of the passage, as Poppy wiped tears from her eyes and seemed nearly as stunned as Albus. He could scarcely believe that Minerva was gone, he'd thought that at last they would be happy, even though he'd feared that Minerva might not forgive him once she heard his confession. Now his world was in ruins again and all rational thought seemed to flee from his mind, so that all that was left was a vast lonely emptiness.

At last Albus seemed to regain his senses a little, "Did she say anything else ...anything else at all ?" He asked in a voice that shook.

Poppy shook her head glumly, "No ...that's all she said. Then she just left ...she didn't even wait to pack or anything ...didn't take anything with her ...just portkeyed away as though she couldnt stand to be here anymore." As she finished speaking Poppy started to sob once more.

As Albus reached out to pat Poppy comfortingly on the arm, Poppy noticed the baby that slept securely in his arms. "You have Harry !" She gasped, "So Minerva was right ?"

Albus nodded sadly, as guilt threatened to overwhelm him, "I have been very wrong, I should have listened to Minerva sooner ..." He whispered mournfully.

Instantly Poppy's instincts as a healer took over, as she gently lifted Harry from Albus' embrace and examined him, asking anxiously, "Did they hurt him ?"

Briefly Albus explained what he had discovered at the Dursleys, Poppy looked utterly horrified as Albus continued, "Oh you poor little mite." She cooed, gazing at the baby in her arms with a tender motherly expression.

When Albus had finished telling Poppy everything, she said firmly, "I really would like to examine Harry properly in the hospital wing Albus. I know you are convinced that they didn't hurt him in other ways, but still it would be prudent to check, and to make sure that he is properly nourished - he looks a little underweight to me."

Albus sighed, as the guilt he felt gnawed at him once more, Poppy was right - Harry did look a little thin. Why hadn't he thought to take him to Poppy at once ?

"Oh Albus, don't look like that ..." Poppy said soothingly, "Of course you wanted to take him to Minerva first, that's only natural."

Albus thanked Poppy for her kindness then anxiously accompanied her to the hospital wing. While Poppy gently examined Harry, Albus tried to distract him by making shadow puppets on the wall that danced and sang. At last Poppy's examination was complete, and Albus was vastly relieved to hear that Harry was fine, though he could do with a bit of feeding up.

Every instinct that Albus had screamed that he should go after Minerva at once, and try to win her back, but as he gazed at Harry in Poppy's arms he knew that for now Harry was the priority. He could not leave Hogwarts untill he was certain that Harry was as well protected as he possibly could be. He needed Severus' help for this. Somehow thinking about Harry, and protecting him let Albus regain his normal capacity for thought, and he realised that it was also imperative that he discover how Minerva had found out about the prophecy. Albus frowned as he wondered if the prophecy was now common knowledge, he knew that Minerva would not say anything to anyone about it, but who had told her ? It was still important for Harry's safety that as few people as possible knew about the prophecy.

"I must make sure that Harry is well protected here, that Hogwarts is safe ...it will be a long nights work, would you mind taking care of Harry for me ?" Albus asked, thinking that Poppy seemed the perfect choice to look after the child for him.

Poppy smiled down at Harry, and tenderly brushed a stray hair from his face, "I'd love to ..." She answered softly.

"Harry would you like to stay with Auntie Poppy for a while ?" Albus asked gently. "Granpa Alby has some important things he has to do, but I'll come see you soon."

Harry's only answer was to tug on Albus' beard as he bent over harry. "Ouch ..." Said Albus, as Harry pulled particularly hard, "He always did have a fascination with my beard ... I rather hope he will grow out of it eventually ..." He added, as he smiled down at his grandson tenderly.

Albus kissed Harry softly on his black locks, ruffled his hair and with a quiet word of thanks to Poppy, turned to leave.

"Albus ...you will go after Minerva won't you ?" Poppy asked desperately.

"How could I do anything else ?" Albus answered softly, then seeing the sadness in Poppy's face, and remembering how fond she was of Minerva he added gently, "I assure you my dear Poppy I will do my best to bring her home to us." Albus' eyes grew sorrowful and dull as he prayed that his best would be enough. With a final fond glance at Harry, who had just discovered Poppy's healers badge and was fascinated by it, Albus left the hospital wing and made his way to his study. He'd already decided that this would be the best place to begin his investigation into who had told Minerva about the prophecy, Albus frowned in concern as he strode along the passages, apart from himself the portraits in his study were the only ones who knew about the prophecy - surely one of them wouldn't have told minerva, so did that mean there was a spy in the school ?

When Albus reached his office he found the portraits slumbering softly in their frames, just as they had been when he'd arrived back from the Dursleys. The portrait of Armando Dippet hung above the desk, Armando was Albus' closest confidant among the portraits - perhaps he would know what had happened, at least he might be able to offer some insight. Albus cleared his throat, "Armando ..." he said softly.

"What ...what ...Oh Albus it's you ..." Armando spluttered as he emerged from sleep, then his face grew grave as he remembered what had happened earlier that day. "Albus my dear boy I have some terrible news for you ..."

"Minerva knows about the prophecy ..." Albus finished wearily, sinking into a chintz armchair by the fire.

"You know already ?!" Armando gasped, surprised.

"Poppy told me." Albus sighed, as he rested his head in his hands miserably.

Armando looked horrified at this, "Poppy knows about the prophecy ?" He asked, now desperately worried.

"No ...No of course not, all Poppy knows is that Minerva has left Hogwarts." Albus answered his voice shaking on the final words.

"Oh my dear dear boy, I am so sorry ..." Armando said gently, as he saw how forlorn Albus looked.

"The fault is mine, you were wise enough to warn me what might happen, and I was foolish enough not to listen to you." Albus whispered as unshed tears shimmered in his eyes, and threatened to fall.

For a few minutes there was silence in the room, as Armando wished that he were able to reach out and comfort Albus with a gentle hand on his shoulder, as he would have done when alive, and Albus seemed sunk in gloom. Then Albus roused himself from his regrets, and forced himself to focus on what needed to be done.

"Do you know how Minerva found out about the prophecy ?" Albus asked.

"Indeed I do know." Armando replied, and proceeded to explain to Albus what had happened earlier that day. Albus listened in attentive silence, as Armando told how a bored Phineus Nigellus had instigated a discussion with two of the other portraits about whether or not the prophecy was real, and how despite Armando's attempts to silence them, things had degenerated into a shouting match - largely provoked by Phineus. Among the hubbub no one had noticed that Minerva had chosen this moment to firecall Albus, not one of them had noticed Minerva's aghast face watching from the fireplace untill it was too late, and she had heard all about the prophecy and Harry's part in it. She had of course put two and two together, and realised that Albus had decieved her. A realisation that was confirmed when she insisted that Armando tell her the full truth, faced with Minerva's anger and unwilling to lie, Armando had had no choice other than to explain everything to Minerva. After telling Albus this Armando tried desperately to apologise, Albus simply said softly that he understood, and asked Armando to tell him what happened next. As Armando described Minerva's fury at her discovery of Albus' deceit, Albus' head dropped into his hands in utter despair - what would he do if he had lost Minerva forever ?

All Armando's attempts at words of comfort failed, as Albus continued to stare despairingly at the floor, head clutched in his boney fingers. It was only when Armando in a desperate attempt to rouse Albus from his gloom, asked where he had been all day, that Albus remembered about Harry and the need to protect him.

Tears still shone in Albus' eyes and glinted on his pale cheeks, as he raised his head at last, "I went to check on Harry ...it seems I was wrong about that too. I have brought him home with me." Albus said, as he brushed a tired hand across his face, then in a determined voice said "I must summon Severus, I shall need his help with the extra wards and protections that will now be needed."

Albus and Severus slaved long into the night, erecting wards and protections. Albus battled valiantly to push all thoughts of Minerva from his mind, and focus on protecting Harry. Every time that Severus would suggest that the boy was now well enough protected, Albus would shake his head and insist that yet another layer of protection be added.

The autumnal sun was high in the midday sky by the time they had finished. Every possible spell had been cast, and many ancient wards of protection had been invoked. "Do you think it will be enough Severus ?" Albus asked faintly, his voice trembling with exhuastion.

"We have done all that we can do, there is nothing more to be done, whatever happens will happen." Severus snapped impatiently, why should he care what happened to the boy ? He was certain that he would loathe the Potter brat, how could he not loathe James' son ? Then he noticed how Albus' face paled at his words, and how weak and drained the older man looked, and added more gently, "Albus we have cast every possible ward and spell, Hogwarts was already one of the best protected places in the wizarding world - it is now even better protected. Also you are here, as are many other powerful witches and wizards, the brat ...the boy may not have the blood protection any more, but other than that he is safer here than anywhere else."

Albus rested his hand softly on Severus' shoulder in a gentle fatherly gesture, "Thank you my boy." He said, then added "And Severus, his name is Harry."

Severus muttered something incomprehensible under his breath in reply, and for a second there was a hint of a twinkle in Albus' eyes, then sorrow and loss dulled them again.

"I must go and find Minerva ...try to ...try to bring her home ..." Albus muttered, in a voice that trembled.

"You should rest first." Severus answered, knowing that Albus would ignore his advice and go anyway.

"How can I rest without Minerva ?" Albus whispered softly, his gaze fixed on the picture of Minerva that stood on his desk. "I must go and talk to her. You will guard Harry for me ? Keep him safe ?"

"Of course." Severus answered, "Just don't expect me to babysit the brat." He added hurridly, even at a time like this, you never knew what crazy idea Albus might come up with.

Albus was already getting ready to leave for the small glen in the Scottish highlands, where the McGonagall family home was, he was certain that Minerva would have returned to her childhood home. Before he left, he told Severus the location of Minerva's home, and instructed him to summon him immediately at the slightest hint of danger.

Before portkeying to Minerva's family home, Albus poked his head into Poppy's rooms to see how Harry was. Normally Albus would have chuckled at the scene that met his eyes, but not today, not with Minerva gone. Today he was too aware of the emptiness that was within him, to do more than stand and watch as Poppy and Harry built a tall tower out of old bandages, a tower that threatened to come tumbling down at any moment.

"Granpa Alby ..." Harry cooed, as he caught sight of Albus, "Granpa Alby ...play." Harry demanded.

Albus stepped into the room and gathered Harry into his arms, "I'm afraid I can't play with you now Harry." Albus said gently, "I have to go and see someone, someone very important. I'll come and play with you when I get back."

"Me want Granma Minmin." Harry demanded.

"So do I Harry ...so do I." Albus whispered, as he rested his head against Harry's jet black hair for a second, to hide the sudden tears that shone in his eyes. Once he'd regained his self controll, Albus kissed Harry softly, promised to return as soon as he could, and handed the child to Poppy, who had discovered her old teddy bear, and was making it wave it's paw at Harry.

With a final glance at Harry, who was now happily playing with the teddy, Albus stepped from the room and portkeyed to a mountain glen hidden deep in the wilds of Scotland.

There was a faint pop as Albus appeared in the secluded highland glen, he looked unusually old and fragile, as he stood for a few minutes gazing at the small stonebuilt house nestled among the pine trees. The wind that howled down from the mountains seemed almost to taunt him, as it pounded him with gusts that nearly knocked him from his feet. Albus had been here many times before, not always on happy occasions, but never before had he been so deathly afraid, so full of sorrow and guilt.

Finaly Albus gathered his strength and took a step towards the house, then with a haunted expression on his face paused again uncertainly, as he thought the unthinkable, _'What if Minerva wouldn't forgive him ?' _The icy November wind lashed at his face, and tore at his robes, as Albus stood head bowed with a heart full of dread. At last he seemed to regain some of his courage, and stepped once again towards the stone building, that had it's door shut so firmly against him.

Reaching the green wooden door, Albus raised a trembling hand and knocked. Icy silence was the only answer, anyone else might have been fooled into thinking the house empty, but Albus was certain that Minerva was there. "Minerva please ..." He called desperately, then knocked again harder and louder than before, but the door remained stubbornly closed. Several more times, Albus knocked, and begged Minerva to open the door, to just talk with him. His pleas were swept away by the wind and lost among the mountains, and still no response came from within.

Albus rested his head despairingly against the hard wood of the door, he could sense Minerva's presence in the house, even if she wouldn't forgive him she should at least be told the news about Harry. Albus lifted his head from the door, and knocked once again, "Minerva I must talk to you, I have news about Harry."

Instantly the door was flung open, and Minerva stared at him pale faced and enraged, "Well ?" She snapped.

The ice in Minerva's voice overwhelmed Albus with a sense of impending doom and loss, so that for a time he was lost for words, and could not even bring himself to look into those emerald eyes he loved so well. Just as the door was about to slam in his face, Albus gathered his senses and spoke, "Minerva I went to check on Harry ...You were right, they weren't fit to care for him ...I took him away from them, brought him back to Hogwarts ..."

Furiously Minerva interrupted him, "You dare to try and bribe me, to win me back by using Harry ..." She snarled. Minerva saw the pain on Albus' face as she made her accusation, but she didn't care, why should she when he'd hurt her so much, now it was her turn to wound him.

"No ... no ...my love ..." Albus stuttered, wounded to his core by the thought that she could imagine him capable of something like that, he barely noticed how Minerva raised her hand as though she would strike him at the words my love. "I would never ...I just thought that you should know ...I ..."

"You will bring Harry here to me, I shall care for him." Minerva commanded, her eyes blazing, "You are not fit to care for him, I would not trust you with him." She added, her voice full of contempt.

At her words Albus stepped back as though struck, and his face paled, leaving it looking gaunt and haggard.

As though expecting an argument, Minerva continued, "And do not tell me that it is too dangerous for him to be here, you are more than capable of erecting wards and protections to keep him safe."

"I had hoped that you might forgive me ...that we could care for him together ..." Albus whispered, after a couple of minutes of despairing silence.

At that Minerva's seething rage, boiled over, and erupted like a volcano, "You dare to speak to me of forgiveness ..." She thundered, as she advanced on the man who stood trembling and broken before her. "Haven't I forgiven you enough already !? All these weeks you have refused to listen to me, expected me to just accept whatever decision you chose to make. You couldn't even tell me the truth, didn't even tell me the real reason why. You lied to me, decieved me." Once again Minerva raised her hand as though she would strike Albus, only this time the blow fell, making stinging whiplike contact with his face.

Albus could have ducked the blow, instead he let it strike him with full force, feeling that he deserved no better, his face deathly pale, his eyes dead and lifeless, an ugly red mark where her hand had struck. In those moments after Minerva had hit him, Albus seemed to shrink a little as though all his strength and will to go on had left him.

Minerva stared at Albus stunned by what she had done, immediately she had hit him her anger had left her, now she just felt empty and drained, devoid of emotion. Slowly as her shock lessened she noticed how unusually fragile and exhuasted Albus looked, how white his face was, almost as white as his hair, and he trembled so as he stood motionless and defeated. Minerva had never seen Albus looking so broken, so lost before - she couldn't help but feel a wave of tenderness for him wash over her, cleansing her of the sense of betrayal, hurt and anger. He had been wrong, but he was just a man, an imperfect man who made mistakes - did she really want a hero ? Or would she rather have this man who radiated guilt and sorrow for having hurt her, a man who had loved her tenderly and gently for so many years, who could turn her tears to laughter with a soft touch or a twinkle of his eyes. Minerva knew that she could forgive him his errors, now it was just a case of could she trust him again.

"You will never keep a secret from me ever again ? You will not lie to me or deceive me ever again ? Minerva's words were both a command and a question.

Slowly Albus lifted his eyes to her's, scarcely daring to hope, to believe that she might forgive him.

"You would forgive me even after what I have done ?" Albus' voice shook, and tears started to fall from his eyes, streaming down his cheeks.

Minerva's emerald eyes still held a hint of fierceness, but they were also tender, as she reached out a hand and brushed the tears from his face, her fingers hovering for a second at the edge of the red bruise on his cheek, pain and something unfathomable in her eyes.

"I have already forgiven you. Now what I want to know is can I trust you ? Because if I can't ..." Minerva answered, a hint of a tremble in her voice as she left the last words unspoken.

There was no need for Minerva to say more, Albus knew what she meant. That she should have to ask him this, when she had always trusted him unquestioningly before, showed him fully how wrong he had been. More deeply ashamed than ever of his lies, it took all Albus' willpower to force himself to lift his head, look into her eyes and answer in a voice that shook, "You can trust me Minerva, I swear it. I know it must be difficult for you to believe anything that I say after what I have done, my deceit, my lies ..." Albus took a deep breath, then in a voice that was close to breaking continued, "I had already realised how wrong I was, today before I went to check on Harry I came to your rooms - I was going to confess, tell you the full truth and beg your forgiveness for my lies. But you were sleeping, and I couldn't bring myself to wake you when you looked so tired, so I left you sleeping and went to the Dursleys. Immediately I returned I was going to come to you and tell you the truth. I swear this is the truth, you can trust me, there will be no more secrets between us ever, I swear it." Albus finished, his voice and face full of desperation.

Minerva could see the sincerity in Albus' eyes, but still she hesitated unsure, unconsciously her hand moved to her shoulder, stroked the tartan shawl that still hung there, "You put this around me while I slept ..." Minerva whispered, her eyes boring into his, as though searching for something.

"Yes my darling, yes ..." Albus answered, how could he convince her ? Oh what a fool he had been, if he lost her because of this he would never forgive himself.

"I dreamed that you kissed me ..." Minerva said softly, still holding him in her intent gaze.

Albus took Minerva's hands tenderly in his, his eyes never leaving her's as he answered gently, "I did kiss you my darling, then I watched you sleep ...you were so peaceful ...You make me complete my love, without you everything is meaningless, if I have lost you then I will never forgive myself."

"I felt you there ...in my sleep I felt you there ..." Minerva murmured as though to herself. So he was speaking the truth about this, but could she trust him never to lie again ?

Albus saw the doubt that had grown in her eyes, terrified and desperate he pleaded, "Minerva please trust me ... believe me please ...think of all our years together, have I ever lied to you or deceived you before now, and I will never do so again. I know how wrong I was ...can't you see this in my eyes ? I will always be ashamed of how I lied to you, that and my love for you will ensure that I never deceive you again. Do you not see this in my eyes ?"

Minerva's gaze grew even more intent as she searched his eyes, looking for the answer she hoped to find. Mirrored in those eyes that were so devoid of their normal twinkle, so pained and full of guilt, she saw so many emotions - shame, terror, love, sorrow, and above all sincerity. Minerva breathed a sigh of relief, so the man she'd known and trusted for so long was back, and after all he had acted out of love, he'd been mistaken, wrong, but he'd lied to protect her and she could see what it had cost him written in his face. It was those lines of shame and sorrow etched into Albus' pale cheeks, that convinced her more than anything that she could trust Albus never to deceive her again.

Albus felt Minerva's gaze soften, heard her soft release of breath, and knew that she was his once more. Exhuasted and relieved he rested his head against her's, and whispered softly, "I do not deserve you."

Albus' words, the pain in his voice, wrenched at Minerva's heart, and instinctively her lips moved to caress the mark her hand had left. She shouldn't have done it, shouldn't have hit him like that, now she tried to heal it with her kisses, as salt tears fell from her eyes. Albus winced as the salt stang his face, then took the hand that had struck him, kissed it tenderly, and smiling into her eyes said softly "I deserved it my darling, you were quite correct to be so angry, all that matters is that I haven't lost you, that I still have your love."

"You will always have my love." Minerva whispered as her lips grazed his mouth lightly, and she drew him closer to her.

"Oh my love." Albus murmured, as his lips sought her's, and made them his. When that first long kiss was over, they clung together, arms locked around each other, raven and silver hair intermingling as their faces rested against each other. Untill Albus broke the soft loving silence that was between them, "I am so sorry Minerva ...so very very sorry for everything ...I have been so foolish, so wrong ...I've caused you such pain ..." He whisped in broken tones.

Minerva eased her body gently away from Albus, so that she could see into his sorrowful blue eyes, "Albus listen to me ..." Minerva said firmly, "We both needed this in a way, most people don't have relationships so perfect as ours was, this has made us stronger. We have survived this, now we know that we can survive anything with our love intact. Now let's go home and be a family with Harry."

Albus gazed adoringly into Minerva's intense green eyes, as he thought how lucky he was, that she should still love him so much after everything he had done was a miracle for him, "Not only are you beautifull my darling, you are incredibly wise ..." He said tenderly.

A delicate flush crept over Minerva's face, like the dawn blush that touches the petals of a pale rose, "Absolute nonsense Albus, we both know you are the wise one." She snapped.

A spasm of sadness flashed across Albus' face, and his head dropped as though heavy with shame, so quietly she could hardly hear him, he muttered, "How can you say that when I have been so very foolish ?"

Minerva's hand brushed the hair from his face, so that her lips could caress his cheek, Albus could feel her warm breath against his skin as she said softly,"I have forgiven you for your mistakes, now it is time for you to forgive yourself Albus."

Slowly Albus lifted his gaze from the floor, the characteristic twinkle just begining to sparkle in his eyes once more, "As I said my darling, you are incredibly wise ..." He whispered, then seemed to loose himself in sorrow again, as he added "And forgiving ...I do not deserve you ...that you would trust me with your boy after what I have done ..."

Tears misted Minerva's eyes as she heard the pain in Albus' voice, was it such a short time ago that she had wanted to wound him ? In an unusual gesture for her, she cupped his face in her hands, and said softly, "Albus you will be a wonderful grandfather to Harry, I am certain of it, you will treasure and adore him, and doubtless spoil him - just as you always have done. I could not think of anyone I would trust more with Harry, and he is our boy now, not mine."

Albus' head dropped to rest against Minerva's shoulder, as she folded him in her arms, and tears fell down both their faces. Neither one knew how long they stood like that, their tears mingling together as they clung to each other and healed their wounds. Soon it would be time to return and be a family, but this time was for them, their time of healing and forgiveness, a time to rediscover their love.

Immediately that Albus and Minerva returned to Hogwarts, they went to see Harry, who was still being cared for by Poppy. A smiling Poppy opened the door of her private rooms, gave Minerva a quick hug, then beat a tactful retreat so they could enjoy their reunion alone. Harry was fast asleep in a red and gold cot, decorated with tiny phoenixes and cats that Poppy had persuaded Rolanda to help transfigure for him.

As soon as Minerva saw Harry curled up asleep in his cot she let out a small cry, instantly Harry awoke and opening his baby eyes beamed up at her joyously. "Granma Minmin ...Granma Minmin ..." He cooed, holding his tiny arms out to her. In a split second Minerva was across the room and had gathered her boy in her arms, tears of joy flowed unchecked down Minerva's face as she held Harry closely to her, alternately stroking his hair and rocking him in a gentle instinctive maternal rhythym. Harry snuggled as deep into his Granma Minmin as he could get, baby face nuzzling against her as he wrapped his arms around her neck, and clung to her blissfully. "Granma Minmin ...Granma Minmin ..." Harry cooed, his baby breath milky warm against Minerva's face.

"Oh my baby ...my Harry ..." Was all Minerva could say, as she kissed her grandson tenderly, gazing at him as though he was the most precious thing in the world to her.

Albus stood by the door watching, his blue eyes twinkling like stars, as tears streamed down his face and he beamed merrily to see the two people he loved most so happy. Suddenly Minerva's emerald eyes were smiling into his as she held her arms out to him, beckoning him to join their hug. Albus needed no further invitation, and stepped forward into Minerva's arms, folding her and Harry in a warm loving embrace. Minerva's head rested softly on Albus' shoulder, his arm was wrapped tenderly round her waist, and between them Harry was safely cradled in their arms.

"Granpa Alby ...Granma Minmin ..." Harry gurgled over and over again, his intense green eyes beaming up at them blissfully, as he wrapped one arm round each of their necks and held on tight.

"Yes Harry, Granpa Alby and Granma Minmin ..." Albus said softly, "We're going to be a family now ...you're safe now."

Minerva smiled up at Albus looking happier than Albus had seen her look for a long while, just as Minerva reached up to kiss Albus, a wet soggy baby kiss was planted on the end of Albus' crooked nose by Harry, and both of them dissolved into gales of laughter, while Harry giggled and kissed each of them in turn.

Much later that night Albus and Minerva sat together, watching Harry sleep close by in his cot. The warm glow of the fire lit the room with a soft light as they rested joyfully in each other's embrace, both of them feeling that they never wanted to leave the other's arms again. Glancing up at Albus, Minerva noticed how his head was slightly bowed, thought she saw a flicker of something sad in his eyes that was instantly hidden when he noticed her gaze upon him. Minerva placed her hand tenderly under Albus' chin and tilted his head to face hers, "Albus what is it ...what's wrong ?" She asked, half certain she knew the answer already.

Albus sighed softly before answering her quietly, "I was thinking about my numerous mistakes ...all the pain I have caused you."

Even in the dim glow of the dying embers of the fire, Minerva could clearly see the guilt and sorrow in Albus' eyes, closing her hand firmly around his, Minerva said firmly, "That is all in the past. Albus, I have you and I have Harry, I am the happiest woman alive."

The emerald light that shone like jewells from Minerva's eyes, and the tender caress of her lips on his as she kissed him, let Albus know that she meant her words. His eyes brightened, like sun after rain, sparkling with adoration and merriment, "And I am the happiest man alive my love." Albus whisped, then smiling into her eyes, kissed Minerva softly and passionately.

The End (apart from the Epilogue.)

**Author's Notes**

**First don't forget to read the epilogue, which will be published in the next few days. :) **

**Thanks to everyone who reviews you're all amazing, and your reviews have helped me tremendously in completeing this story - something I sometimes doubted I could do. They also helped to influence the direction of the story, as did Minerva - who took my story by the scruff of the neck, shook it, and made it her's. :) Originally my intent was for the story to stick quite close to canon, and for Harry to remain with the Dursleys - with Albus remaining unaware of his ill treatment there, but I began to have doubts about that myself, and then some of you wonderful reviewers started to influence me and after thinking about it for a while I realised that you were right and Harry should be rescued. :) So my story has turned out vastly different than my original plan, and I'm very happy about that, *grins*. **

**I hope you'll all enjoy the epilogue. **

**I have plans for two more stories, one suggested by Mania4ka, which will be started in the new year. First one, called Albus and Minerva, The Early Years, is a mostly lighthearted look at Minerva's school years, and how her relationship with Albus developes, (poor Albus won't know what hit him lol, ) It will also follow the rest of their relationship after Minerva graduates, how a student teacher relationship becomes friendship and then ...love maybe. I hasten to add that nothing happens while she's still at school. First chapters will be published in January 2009. **

**The second is darker and more serious, and is called Quest of the Lioness, initially it'll be very Minerva centric, and starts six months after the end of HBP. Though Minerva puts on a brave face, she grieves every day over Albus, full of regrets that she never admitted her love for him. One day she finds a way to travel beyond the veil, and try to bring him back, if she fails then she risks her life, maybe even her soul. Story still in planning stage, first chapters in a couple of months. **

**More details on both in my profile. **


	22. Epilogue

Epilogue

Harry's First Christmas at Hogwarts

The few weeks since Albus rescued Harry from the Dursleys had been some of the happiest that Albus and Minerva had ever spent together. Much to their relief Harry seemed unaffected by his time with the Dursleys. At first Albus had been worried that his foolish decisions and his deceit might affect his relationship with Minerva negatively, but once they'd spoken about eveything together - an explanation that was interpsersed with many apologies from Albus, everything was fine between them. Now Albus treasured and adored Minerva even more than he had before, eternally gratefull and moved by her love and forgiveness.

At first Minerva had worried about what might happen to Harry when Voldemort returned, even though she didn't believe in divination the thought of the prophecy was still distressing for her - but her joy at having Harry with her, and her matter of fact nature, soon let her push such thoughts to one side, and focus on being a family. As for Albus, long years of fighting evil had taught him the importance of grasping happiness with both hands when it was given to you, and when he saw Minerva's joy at having Harry back it was impossible for him to do anything other than twinkle merrily. Though he still continued to research and plan for Voldemort's inevitable return, determined to be ready, Albus knew that people like Voldemort only truly won if they managed to banish all the love and laughter from the world.

Now it was Harry's first Christmas with Albus and Minerva, his first Christmas since coming home. Everyone had just enjoyed a delicious feast, after a morning spent opening presents round the tree, and then having a snowball fight outside. Harry had never seen snow before, and had rolled in it giggling gleefully untill he looked like a tiny white polar bear, with droplets of ice hanging off his nose. Albus had tried to teach Harry how to snowball fight, he'd knelt down in the snow and instructed Harry to throw the snowball at Granpa Alby. Harry however hadn't seemed to understand what was required, and kept poking his fingers happily into the snowball Albus had made him, after that he'd decided to lick it much to Minerva's horror.

Minerva had then decided to take matters into her own hands, Albus had gaped at her in surprise when she'd said "Look Harry I'll show you what to do ..." Albus really didn't expect what happened next, consequently he fell over backwards and landed in a soft pile of snow, when Minerva marched up to him and shoved the snowball into his face. Harry had laughed loudly, and then as Albus was still recovering from the shock and struggling to get up, had run over and pushed his own snowball onto Albus' crooked nose, then flung himself giggling on top of his Granpa Alby. At once Albus had enfolded Harry in a snowy hug, then reached out with one hand and pulled Minerva into the snowdrift next to him, and quickly planted a kiss on her glowing face. If any students had been spending christmas at Hogwarts that year, they would have been astonished to see their normally strict Transfiguration Professor rolling around in the snow like a little child, and kissing the Headmaster.

Now it was Christmas afternoon, and the whole family were together in their private chambers - a warm fire glowed in the stone fireplace, a giant Christmas tree hung with red and gold baubles, and sparkling iridescant tinsel reached nearly to the ceiling, and decorations adorned every corner of the room. Albus and Minerva sat with their arms around each other on a sofa by the fire, with Harry playing happily at their feet. On the other side of the fire Hagrid lounged in an armchair, a beaming smile on his face as he watched the miniture Santa and sleigh, that Albus had conjured earlier, fly around the room with tiny golden bells jingling, and occasional merry cries of Ho Ho Ho from the little Santa that drove it. Next to Hagrid a gangly legged black puppy slumbered contentedly, Albus and Minerva had given him to Hagrid that morning for christmas. Hagrid had wrapped the puppy in a giant hug as he thanked them profusely, and tried to protect his nose from being slobbered all over. Hagrid had then announced that he was going to call the dog Fang.

After kissing Minerva tenderly on the lips, Albus leaned forward and lifted a book in a bright red cover off the floor. The book had a drawing of a bear on the front, underneath were the words Winnie The Pooh. Ever since buying it for Harry for Christmas Albus had been enchanted by it, even though Minerva kept sighing and telling him that it was a children's book. Albus would just twinkle merrily at her and say "That's why it's so much fun my dear."

Albus reached down and ruffled Harry's hair tenderly, "Harry would you like me to read some of this book for you ?" He asked.

Harry nodded happily, then reached out his arms to Albus and smiled up at him with sparkling green eyes. Gently Albus lifted Harry onto his lap, while Minerva smiled at them softly, and Harry snuggled in against Albus as he flicked through the pages of the book, then began to read aloud.

_How sweet to be a cloud_

_Floating in the blue !_

_Every little cloud_

_Always sings aloud._

Harry giggled happily at the hum that Albus had just read. Twinkling down at his Grandson Albus said, half to himself, "You know I'm sure I could make up a hum that's nearly as good as that ...Would you like to hear one of Granpa Alby's hums Harry ?"

Harry beamed up at Albus blissfully, "Granpa Alby hum ..." He gurgled.

Albus thought for a minute, and then in a pretend reciting hums voice said,

"How sweet to be a lemondrop

Sitting in the tin,

I'd rather be a lemondrop

Than most any other thing !"

Harry clapped his hands and chortled happily, while Minerva rolled her eyes and muttered something about, "The greatest wizard in the world and he wants to be a lemon drop ..."

"Would you like Granpa Alby to make up another hum ?" Albus asked, delighted with the success of his first attempt.

Harry nodded again, and burrowed in against Albus' beard contentedly.

"Another hum would be right grand, Professor Dumbledore, Sir." Hagrid said, who had also joined in with Harry's applause of the first hum.

Albus smiled merrily at Hagrid, "Thank you my dear Hagrid." he said softly.

Albus paused for a second, a mock expression of deep thought on his face, then with a mischevious glance at Minerva he leaned over and whispered in her ear, "This one's for you my darling ..."

Minerva groaned and covered her eyes in pretend despair as Albus began to recite,

"How sweet to be cocoa in a cup,

Oh hot chocolate and milk do warm the soul,

It's just the thing to sup.

Though Minerva would rather lap her's from a bowl !"

"I would not !" Minerva snapped indignantly as she glared at Albus.

Albus twinkled merrily at Minerva as he replied, "You would if you were in your animagus form."

"I would not ..." Minerva stated firmly, her glare even more fiercesome this time, "Cats don't drink cocoa."

"I bet I could find a cat that drinks cocoa." Albus answered, with a soft smile.

"It doesn't matter if you can or not ...I don't drink cocoa, and even if I did I certainly wouldn't lap it from a bowl ..." Minerva snapped, then folded her arms and glared at Albus as though that was the end of the discussion.

Blue eyes sparkling with joy, Albus leaned over and kissed Minerva on the cheek, "I'm so glad our little arguments are back to normal my darling." He whispered happily.

Minerva's emerald eyes mirrored the joy in his, as she answered "So am I ..." then lifted her lips to his and kissed him lovingly. Harry cooed in contentment, and snuggled in between them as Minerva and Albus held each other in a warm embrace, and Hagrid wiped a tear from his eye to see the three of them so happy.

Harry chose that exact moment to attempt a new word, one he'd heard his Granpa Alby say often. "Emon rop ..." he gurgled triumphantly.

"Minerva, did you hear that ?!" Albus said, sounding immensely proud and thrilled, "Harry just said lemon drop !" Albus patted Harry on his tousled hair, "Clever boy Harry !"

"Nonsence." Minerva stated firmly, "What he actually said was emon rop ...nothing like lemon drop whatsoever ...one candy addict in this family is more than enough thank you very much !"

"Emon rop is baby talk for lemon drop." Albus said, still delighted by Harry's cleverness.

Minerva looked at the ceiling in mock despair, "Oh really ..." She answered, "And you're an expert on baby talk I suppose ?"

"Yes absolutely." Albus replied, as he twinkled at Minerva triumphantly, he had a distinct feeling that he had just won this particular argument.

Minerva heaved a clearly fake sigh, "Why doesn't that surprise me ?" She answered succintly.

Albus chuckled softly, and drew his beloved Minerva into another kiss, just before their lips met he whispered, "He did say lemon drop my dear ..." Then kissed her long and tenderly before she had a chance to answer him. After the kiss had ended Albus and Minerva sat together in a warm embrace, Minerva's head resting on Albus' shoulder, while Harry crawled over to make friends with Fang who promptly slobbered all over Harry, leaving him dripping with dog drool. Harry didn't seem to mind, but Minerva looked utterly disgusted as she cast a quick cleaning spell on him, and grumbled about how "That dog is far too drooly for my liking ..."

Just then there was a knock at the door, Albus immediately knew who it was - it was a ritual they went through every Christmas. "Come in Severus." He called beaming brightly.

At once the door opened and Severus Snape entered the room, it would have been almost impossible to look more unchristmassy than Severus who was clad entirely in darkest black, and looked thouroughly grumpy and annoyed. Albus seemed utterly unconcerned as Severus glared at him, and simply twinkled merrily and waited for the next step in their little game to begin.

"I thought we agreed last year that you weren't going to do this any more ..." Severus growled, as he glowered at Albus darkly.

"And a very merry Christmas to you too, my dear Severus." Albus said brightly.

Severus stared at Albus as though he wasn't quite sure if he was crazy or not, then snapped, "I did not wish you a merry Christmas, I came to complain ..."

"Ah but I'm quite sure that you wanted to wish me a merry Christmas, and so my dear Severus I decided to save you the trouble, and assume that you had." Albus' eyes sparkled with humour as he said this. Hagrid was tryng to hide a laugh in his beard, and Minerva was struggling to keep a straight face.

Severus muttered something that sounded like, "Bah Humbug ..." under his breath, and then returned to the main subject, "Albus you distinctly told me last Christmas that you were not going to decorate my dungeons any more ..." Severus complained.

"Oh ...Did I ?" Albus said, as he tried to feign vagueness.

"You know perfectly well that you did." Severus snapped, "Every year you tell me that you won't do it anymore, and then every year I find Christmas trees and horrible disgusting sparkly things in my dungeons." Severus looked as though he found the mere thought of Christmas trees and decorations revolting in every way, as he glared at Albus and added "And this year is no different, there's a tree in my chambers, with tinsel on it." Severus shuddered in horror as he said this.

"Really ?!" Albus asked, trying his best to look surprised and disbelieving all at once, "I wonder who could possibly have put that there ?"

For a second Severus looked almost as though he would like to strangle Albus, then he snarled, "You did, just as you do every year, and then you always deny it."

Albus chuckled softly, and then answered, "But Severus, at least it was a black tree this year ...why it even has black tinsel and little black baubles ...terribly gloomy if you ask me ..."

"What about those hideous things you put all over it !" Severus shuddred again in revulsion and almost spat the next words out, "Those ghastly garish fairy light things."

While Severus was shuddering again, and glaring in disgust at the giant tree by their fire, Albus smiled knowingly at Minerva, and then winked at her. They both knew that the real reason Albus decorated Severus' dungeons every single Christmas, was because it was the only gauranteed way to prevent Severus spending a lonely Christmas in his dungeons. Every year without fail, Severus would be unable to resist the temptation to come and complain to Albus, and once the complaining was over with would spend the rest of the day with them. Albus was secretly convinced that Severus was glad to have an excuse not to spend christmas alone, although he would never have admitted it.

Albus twinkled benignly at the Potions Master, "But Severus, you cannot have black fairy lights !" He said in mock horror, "There simply has to be some colour on a Christmas tree, otherwise it's not a proper one."

Just as Severus was about to continue complaining, he was distracted by the antics of Harry who had crawled across the floor to him. Before Severus could react, Harry had attached himself to one of his legs. Severus stared down at him in dismay, then shook his leg gently hoping to dislodge the boy. Immediately Harry wrapped his arms even tighter around Severus' black clad leg, and beamed up at him.

For a few seconds Severus looked utterly bewildered, "Uhm ..." He muttered, glancing helplessly at Albus and Minerva, as he tried to surpess the urge to beg them to rescue him.

"I think he likes you ..." Minerva said, a mischeivious glint in her eyes, "Look Albus isn't it sweet ?"

Just as Severus was about to glare fiercely at Minerva, Harry gazed up at him and cooed, "Sevsev ..."

As everyone else in the room tried desperately to surpress chuckles, Severus stared at Harry in horror.

"Sevsev ..." Harry gurgled again happily, arms still wrapped round Severus' leg in a vice like grip.

"That's Professor Snape to you." Severus snapped, he absolutely refused to be called Sevsev, "Pro ..fess ...or ...Snape ..." He said slowly, as though talking to someone extremely stupid.

When Harry didn't answer, Severus rolled his eyes in disgust, _'I knew it,' _He thought, _'The boys clearly an idiot, no brain at all.' _Suddenly Severus felt a tiny tug on his trouser leg, "Fessor Sevsev." Harry gurgled triumphantly, as he grinned up at him. "Fessor Sevsev ..." Harry said again, and then apparently deciding that he enjoyed saying this, kept on repeating it over and over again, while Severus stared at him open mouthed in astonishment.

"Clever boy Harry !" Minerva and Albus both said at once, as their faces glowed with pride in their Grandson.

Severus was still in the throes of shock when he noticed something bright yellow and sticky on his shoe, something horribly familiar, "There's a lemon drop stuck to my shoe !" He gasped in horror, and indeed there was a half sucked lemon drop defacing Severus' otherwise pristine black shoe.

"Oh dear ..." Albus said, "He must still have that bag of lemon drops I gave him earlier ..."

"Isn't he a bit young to eat lemon drops ?" Severus asked.

"Oh he doesn't eat them, he just likes sticking them places, gets rather messy at times." Albus said casually, as though it was the most normal thing in the world.

"You mean he has more, and he might stick them on me ?" Severus gasped, then turned and glared at Hagrid who was spluttering helplessly into his beard.

There was a short silence as Albus tried very hard not to chuckle, Minerva was seemingly engrossed in a book about Quidditch that Albus had given her, but Severus was convinced that she was really laughing as the book kept shaking suspiciously. At last Albus answered, "I'm very much afraid that he might well do so ..."

There was a horrified silence from Severus as he gazed at Harry in dismay, then he had a brainwave and reaching into his pocket took out a small package he'd put there earlier. "Here you are Harry, this is for you." He said, and bent down and gave it to Harry, who immediately let go of his leg and ripped open the package gleefully, to find an small slightly battered red fire engine inside.

Harry smiled up at Severus nearly as merrily as Albus, "Fessor Sevsev ..." He gurgled happily, which seemed to be his way of saying thank you, and then started to play with his present.

Severus would never have admitted it even to himself, but he felt a small surge of pleasure to see the boy playing with his gift, then he noticed how all the other adults were gaping at him in surprise. "I only did it to make him let go of my leg ..." He snapped. Severus knew deep within himself that this wasn't why he'd given Harry the gift at all, he wasn't sure why he'd done it. It'd just seemed the right thing to do, to give the fire engine that Lily had given him one long ago Christmas to her son.

Looking down at Harry, Severus had to admit that the boy wasn't as loathsome and unpleasant as he'd feared, indeed he might even have forced himself to spend some time with the child, if only it wasn't for those eyes, those haunting green eyes which were so like Lily's. Severus could never look into those eyes without feeling a strange mix of emotions which he found most disconcerting.

"That was very kind of you Severus ..." Albus said gently, his eyes slightly misty with emotion. He knew of course that the toy was a childhood present from Lily, and that Severus had treasured it ever since, "I'll make sure he takes good care of it my boy." Albus added softly.

"Would you like a ginger newt Severus ?" Minerva asked suddenly, she too was touched by Severus' gift, and had noticed how embarrassed he was looking.

Severus was vastly relieved when this seemed to distract everyone, and they all settled down to chat and munch ginger newts, while Harry played happily with his fire engine.

Maybe it was the Christmas spirit that was in the room that day, maybe it was another kind of magic, but Severus suddenly found that he could look at Harry and see just Harry - not Lily's eyes, not his Father - just Harry. A rare smile flickered briefly across Severus' face as he looked down at Harry, who smiled up at him innocently.

Albus' eyes twinkled perceptively as he saw this, he knew how hard it must be on Severus to have a constant reminder of Lily around, but he'd hoped that perhaps Severus could learn to see beyond his memories and loss, now this wish seemed to be coming true. Minerva's hand slipped softly into his - she too had noticed the rare moment of tenderness from Severus. Tenderly Albus bent to kiss his beloved Minerva, while she gazed lovingly into his eyes, and somewhere in the afterlife Lily and James looked down on their son and smiled.

**The End**

_**Author's Notes**_

_**Thanks to everyone who reviews, you're all wonderful, and Merry Christmas everyone. :) Please review. **_

_**I hope that wasn't too unbearably mushy or fluffy ? ;) Oddly, even when I thought the story would be finished much sooner I'd still planned to do a Christmassy epilogue, it does after all fit with the timeline of the story. **_

_**I might do some mini sequels or one shots based on Through Dumbledore's Eyes later on, if I get inspiration for them. I feel in a way it could be interesting to know what happens with Harry in a few years time, or when Voldemort returns. Albus and Minerva may face some difficult decisions too as Harry grows up, how much do they protect him, when do they tell him about the prophecy. My next projects though will be my new stories, and to complete Love Ink and Candy finally, I have all the notes to do it. First though, a break for Christmas, have a wonderful time everyone. :) I hope the formatting on the hums works ok, I had some issues with it, I also nearly published all my rough notes at the end, good job I checked. :D  
**_


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